She who rides with Sons
by MissMoonWillow
Summary: *Sequel to The Daughter of Anarchy* Kelly is back, but with change in the club, and trust is running thin, how will Kelly cope with secrets from everyone she loves. Juice/OC *based on season four events*
1. Calm Down

**AN:** Welcome to the second part of my Son's Of Anarchy Fan fiction, this is part two to, 'The Daughter of Anarchy' So if you're reading this after reading that I hope you enjoy. 

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><p><strong>Chapter one<strong>  
><em>Calm down<em>

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><p>Juice was working on a car, it had been a long few months, and he smiled moving away from the car he was working on to stare at his cell phone, his wallpaper being a picture of himself with Kelly. He couldn't believe they had been together for nearly five months, but it didn't seem that long to him as he pushed his cell phone back into his pocket.<p>

"Juice!" Jax snapped walking over to him, "When you said I could borrow your laptop," He stopped in front of him holding Juice's laptop out. "You could have warned me of the half-naked picture of my cousin as your desktop wallpaper!"

"Ah!" Juice felt his face turning colours, "I kinda forgot about that." He exhaled quickly, "I just kinda miss her." He added while taking the laptop off of Jax, he placed it down on the desk feeling embarrassed.

"Dude, she's only been gone three weeks, she's coming home today." Jax laughed, "Also, I really didn't want to see her like that ever again." Jax laughed trying to burn the memory of his cousin out of his mind.

Juice laughed, "I know, I'm picking her up at four," He looked to the clock on the wall. He felt good about today; Kelly had spent three weeks in New York catching up with her friends. Before she left she took a picture of herself just wearing Juice's cut.

Jax smiled, "Yeah, since you've been watching the time like a hawk." He headed towards the office, "Try and get some work done before you rush off." Jax shouted as Juice went back to slowly do his job.

Gemma glanced up from her paper work, "Hey," She took a closer look to his face, "Something bothering you?"

"Aside from the picture of Kelly I'm never going to be able to get rid of," Jax sat down. "Everything's good." He watched Gemma doing paperwork, "Anything you need done?" Jax stretched out, he didn't really have much for the club to do.

Gemma glanced up from her desk, "Nothing but paperwork," Her hand waving over her desk, "Plus Happy and Tig are out doing repo." She took her glasses off, "You got any plans for tonight?" She asked quickly.

Jax shrugged, "Not that I can think of." He got to his feet, "Is there any reason you ask?"

"No reason," Gemma smiled, "I'll see you later then." Turning back to her work, she listened as the door closed and waited until Jax was gone.

Picking up the phone Gemma quickly dialled a number, "Hey, it's me."

"How can I help you Gemma?" A Hispanic accent replied to her happily knowing who was on the other end of the phone call.

Gemma smiled, "I was just checking on my order, will it be ready for seven thirty tonight?" She asked keeping a close eye on the office door.

"Yes, it will be dropped off at the location you gave me," The woman sounded happy, it seemed as whatever Gemma ordered, must be making her a good profit.

"Good, thank you again for doing this for me." Gemma glanced over the paperwork on her desk moving it.

"It's okay Gemma, it's all just how you wanted, so I hope you have fun." The woman hung up the phone, and Gemma now smiled to herself placing the phone down.

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><p>Kelly pulled her bag out of the trunk of a car placing it on her shoulder, the driver getting out with a smile. "You really didn't need to drive me to the airport Rick." Her voice was soft as she smiled back to him.<p>

"Hey, I think you'd choose me over a smell cab driver any day." Rick wrapped his arms around Kelly hugging her tight, "Plus I think I'm going to go home and sleep for a solid week." He laughed.

Kelly covered her mouth trying to not yawn so loud, "I know the feeling." She let out another yawn, "Lucky I got a ride at the airport waiting for me, so I'm gonna go home and sleep the sleep of the dead."

"I'll walk you to check in," Rick took the bag off of Kelly, his free hand holding out for her.

Kelly rolled her eyes taking his hand, "Jesus Rick!" She started to walk with him taking the last sights of New York. "I think I'm gonna miss it here."

"Well if you ever think of moving, you know I have a room for you to crash in until you get on your feet." He pulled her close dropping her hand and wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Kelly giggled, "I can't. My heart belongs in Charming." Her eyes looking over his face, "But it's not that hard to come by and visit me."

"Yes, have a three week bender at your home town," Rick stopped walking looking over Kelly's face, his hand touching her cheek.

Kelly bit her lip shifting from one foot to the other, "We'll see," Her hand coming up to meet his, "But for now, I need to catch my flight." She leant forward kissing his cheek. "I will let you know as soon as my plane lands."

"You do that!" Rick kissed her cheek, "But remember, right here, right now. You're always welcome to stay with me if you move back." Rick felt his hand running down Kelly's arm. "We miss you."

Kelly rolled her eyes, taking her bag off Rick, "You, Ben, Frank, Tommy, Jillian, Fey, Jack and Jimmy are perfectly happy without me." She looked to the departing flights. "I had a really good time, it was everything I needed, but I really love my home."

"Yeah, guess you take the small town away from the girl, but you can't take girl away from the small town." He paused, "I think that's right, or I'm too tired."

"You're too tired, and I don't want to miss my flight!" Kelly jumped forward kissing him quickly, "So! When I land, you will know!" She turned away starting to run for her check in. "And you post any of that stuff on the internet I will hunt you down with a semi-automatic!"

Rick laughed turning and walking away, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket pressing a speed dial button. "Hey Tommy, you posted the stuff?" He asked turning around seeing Kelly had already running to get to her gate.

"Yup, I posted it all about an hour ago." The voice on the other end of the phone started to laugh, but it was cut off as Rick hung up heading to his car.

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><p>Opie smiled as he opened the bedroom door, he looked in seeing Lyla sitting at the vanity table doing her hair quickly. "Hey." He stepped in closing the door behind him, "You need to rush off?"<p>

"Yeah, Ima's acting up a shit storm, so they need me on set ASAP." Getting to her feet she gave him a quick kiss, "But I promise I'll be finished in time for tonight." She kissed him again, "Rain check?" Her eyes were searching his.

"Sure," He exhaled running his hands into her hair pulling her closer, "Just this whole baby making is taking longer than it normally does."

Lyla closed her eyes for a second pulling him into a hug, she tried to stop herself from showing any signs of her lie, but every month that went by with her not being pregnant, was another month Opie seemed to push the subject harder than ever. "It's just a matter of time baby; I mean maybe we're trying too hard." She pulled away looking into his eyes.

"Or not hard enough," He grinned pulling her into a kiss, his hands running up her shirt kissing down the side of her neck.

Lyla felt his lips moving down slowly; trying to keep control she lightly pushed him away. "I wish I could, but I need to be on set like now, and I think if we're going to do this, I want it right." Her eyes searching his hoping he'd take the bait.

"Maybe you're right," He quickly kissed her forehead, "Plus Gemma's got me distracting Jax, so I better get on top of that." He picked up his jacket putting it on. "I am looking forward to you finally getting pregnant." He smiled leaving the room.

Lyla listened to the sound of the front door closing, she exhaled looking into her purse taking out a new prescription of her birth control pills, and she took a pill out taking it quickly before putting them back into the purse.

Getting to her feet Lyla caught her reflection in the mirror, the worst of it all she wished she didn't have to lie, but if she told him the truth she knew she'd lose him forever.

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><p>Juice kept looking around the airport, every few seconds he'd look at his cell phone to see what time it was. He knew he was being a little egger, but he'd not seen Kelly in so long that he was starting to think of all the things he wanted to do when she finally got home.<p>

Feeling his impatience growing Juice broke into a grin seeing Kelly walking through the arrival gate, he couldn't stop himself breaking into a run towards her.

Kelly felt a little better getting off the plane; it didn't take her long to get passed security as she headed right to the arrival lounge. Her face lit up seeing that Juice was already waiting for her. Dropping her bag she broke into a sprint feeling his arms wrap around her lifting her in the air as he spun her around. "Okay, little motion sickness!" Kelly giggled feeling her feet touch the ground again.

"Sorry," Juice said breathless, but quickly pulled her into a kiss, he couldn't stop smiling feeling her hands wrapped around him, she pulled back. "God you're beautiful!" He studied over her face, "Nice nose ring."

Kelly blushed biting her lip; she brushed a hand into her hair, but then quickly kissed Juice running a hand over his shoulder. "Fey got her piercing licence, so she went crazy." Kelly back tracked with Juice watching him picking up her bag. "I am not hinting too much, but I did get a few more piercings…"

"Like the one in your mouth," He winked as she blushed softly. "I can't wait to take that one for a spin." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder starting to head towards the exit.

Rolling her eyes Kelly kept walking in sync with Juice, "Well I never saw that coming…" She joked feeling his fingers playing with her hair, "But I did miss you." She kissed his cheek.

"I missed you too," He squeezed her letting her go as they walked out of the airport heading towards the parking lot. "So what did you do when in New York?"

"I think it involved a lot of drink, getting stoned a lot, oh and a Karaoke bar…" Kelly laughed seeing the look on Juice's face. "Tommy is an asshole, kept putting me up to sing songs of only the most perverted of nature."

Juice opened the door of the truck, "So you had a lot of fun." He threw her bag in first, but stopped to try and see what she did the whole time she was away just by staring into her eyes.

"I did," Kelly got into the truck, she glanced out the window before closing the door, she knew that he was curious to what she did, but she loved leaving him guessing.

Juice walked around getting into the driver's side, he shook his head. "You just love teasing me." He started the car up.

"Call it my art form," She touched a hand to his thigh. Their eyes meeting for a heartbeat as she smiled sweetly, "But you're going to have fun looking for the new piercings."

Juice smirked starting the car up, "Oh I know I will…" He paused, "Fey's a chick right?"

"Yes, she's also a lesbian." Kelly added with a wink, but jolted forward as Juice stalled the truck. "I should have not said that while you're driving." Her eyes were going over to Juice starting the truck up again.

Juice nodded, "Yeah, bad idea…" He now carried on making his way back to Charming feeling better. "Oh, just so you know, we're got something we need to go to tonight." He glanced over to Kelly whose head was resting against the window. "And you've fallen asleep…" He laughed focusing more on his driving now letting her sleep in peace.

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><p>"You know you could have told me about this earlier." Tara said to Gemma heading toward the house, she exhaled seeing Jax pulling up on his bike. "I mean, I didn't even know you held neighbourhood watch meetings." She turned to see Jax approaching.<p>

"Opie told me Clay wanted me to meet them at the house," He looked confused, but put an arm around Tara. "What's going on mom?"

"Just go inside," Gemma pushed them towards the front door; she kept behind them putting her hand into her purse pulling a camera out.

Tara kept looking up to Jax, "Why do I have a horrible feeling?" She asked as the front door opened, it was completely dark as Jax reached for the light switch.

"Surprise!" Everyone was standing around the living room, decorations with banners saying congratulations on your engagement. "I thought you never had a party, so I thought why not throw one." Gemma stepped between Tara and Jax.

"Thanks mom," Jax kissed her cheek looking to the still shocked expression on Tara's face. "Are you okay babe?"

Tara smiled, "Sorry," Her hands coming up to her mouth seeing all the people she cared about under one roof, "I'm just really happy." She felt Jax pull her into his arms hugging her tight.

"I take that as you love it," Gemma hugged Jax and Tara, "So enjoy." She walked towards the kitchen as everyone went back to talking and drinking.

Kelly walked over to Jax and Tara, "I would be more enthusiastic, but I only found out about this party two and a half hours ago." Taking a bag from her handbag she smiled, "I didn't wrap it, but I through you'd like it." She handed the little brown bag to Jax.

"Thanks," Jax looked inside the bag taking out a zippo lighter, "I guess I never have too many of these…" He laughed but Tara smacked his arm. "What?"

"I had it engraved for you," Kelly pointed out the writing on the lighter.

Jax laughed, "Abel and Thomas Teller," He put his arm around Kelly hugging her; "It's great Kelly."

"I also got you something too…" Kelly handed Tara a slightly bigger bag, but laughed, "It's fragile."

Tara nodded to Jax with a smile taking the present out the bag, "The world's greatest surgeon." Tara couldn't stop smiling, "And it has an apple on it." She showed Jax the mug. "I love it Kelly, thank you."

"No thank you," Kelly hugged Tara, "For everything you've been doing for me in my recovery." She took a step back, "I'm looking forward to the wedding." She now pointed, "When is that going to happen anyway?"

"We've not really picked a date," Jax looked around the party, "But I think this is Gemma's way of hinting that she wants it soon." He laughed seeing Juice coming over, "Happier now?"

Juice wrapped an arm around Kelly's shoulder, "Yeah." He kissed Kelly's cheek looking over her face, "Guess you're still beat hu."

"Just a little…" Kelly felt something hit her sharply in the back; she glanced down to see a small set of hands wrapped around her stomach, "Now who could that be?" Kelly turned to see Kenny hugging her back. "Hey."

"You've been gone forever!" Kenny let her go looking up to her face, "Why did you go?" He asked looking confused.

Kelly exhaled, "Well I needed some time to myself, plus I needed to see some friends I've not seen in a while." She crouched to his height, "But don't worry, if I ever leave, I will always come back."

"Always?" Kenny asked softly.

"Always!" Wrapping her arms around Kenny she hugged him. She smiled pulling back, "But I would love to stand around and chat, but I really want to catch up with some sleep." Kelly took one last look at Tara and Jax, "I'll say congrats, and I'll see you two later."

"Sleep well," Tara kissed Kelly Cheek.

Jax lent in kissing the other, "Thanks for showing face." He brushed a hand into her hair. "You can tell me all about your trip tomorrow at work."

"Eh! Work," Kelly exhaled, "Home sweet home." She started to walk towards her bedroom feeling Juice walking behind her.

Juice placed a hand on her shoulder looking over her face, "There is something I wanted to ask you." He watched her opening the bedroom door, "Can I?" He glanced to the door.

"Yeah, sure." Kelly walked into the bedroom closing the door behind Juice, she moved over to her dresser looking for something to change into, she felt Juice running his hands up her waist. "I thought you had to ask me something?"

Juice moved her hair to one side kissing her neck, "I do," He purred into her ear, his hands working around her stomach holding her closer to him. "How would you feel about moving?" He asked softly.

"It all depends where," Kelly took out a night shirt with some shorts; she turned around to be face to face with Juice. "And why you are asking me about moving?" She watched him carefully trying to work out what he was going on about.

Stroking her cheek he smiled, "Well, I was thinking of you moving in with me again." His smile grew into a grin.

Biting her lip Kelly didn't know what to say, "Oh." She finally made out, she reached out touching his arm, "I think it's something I need to think about." Her eyes going to the bed, and then back to his face, "I really need to think okay."

"Yeah think about it," Juice gave her a soft kiss, Kelly grabbing the front of his cut pulling him into another kiss making it linger, "Unless you want any company…" He wiggled his eyebrow.

Kelly laughed, "I really need to sleep." She now let out a yawn. "But go and enjoy the party."

Juice ran a hand into her hair giving her one more kiss, "I love you." He rested his forehead on hers.

"Love you," Kelly kissed him quickly, "Goodnight." She watched him walking out the door closing it behind himself.

Kelly finally broke into a grin picking up her night clothes heading to the bathroom, she felt better being home, and this was now her time to start getting into the full swing of her prospecting, half a year done, another half to go.


	2. Trust

**AN:**A big hello to my favourite reviewers, and I am happy you are liking the first chapter. I am going to try and keep on top of this story, but will involve me re watching season four that I've already watch to remember the finer details.  
>But this is semi happy stuff in a post.<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter two<strong>  
><em><em>Trust<em>_

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><p>Tig was working on his bike when he felt two hands covering his eyes, he broke into a grin turning around, "Trouble!" He pulled Kelly into a hug lifting her up from the ground. "You have a good sleep?" He asked looking over her face; he poked the side of her nose where her new piercing was.<p>

Kelly slapped his hand away, "I had a great sleep." She now took a step towards his bike looking over it, "Tuning your baby up?" She asked brushing her hand over the handle bars.

Tig nodded, "Yeah, breaks needs a little work." He placed his hand over hers, "How you feeling?" He asked seeing her face change.

"Good, I think having that time away did help me a lot." Her hand turning to hold onto his, "I'm glad you talk me into going." Her eyes going up to meet his, she felt his hand brush over her face.

Tig smiled, "You had a lot of shit happen. I think getting away helps clear that shit up." He let her hand go looking around the garage seeing other men doing work. "Fancy doing some repo with me later?"

"Sure," Kelly tapped his shoulder, "I just need to clear some things up with Gemma before I do anything." Her hand slapping his shoulder, "But I guess I missed you guys too much to stay away too long." She paused half way to the office, "Also I still need to give you guys your presents."

"Well I look forward to seeing them darling," Tig turned back to his bike with a grin on his face.

Opening the office door Kelly walked in sitting on the edge of Gemma's desk, "You throwing a party for Jax and Tara, not a hint at all…" Kelly laughed looking over Gemma typing on the computer.

"I like the idea of a wedding Kelly," Her eyes moving from the computer screen to Kelly's face, "But then again I think it's nice to have something to celebrate." Her hand tapped Kelly's knee. "Anything you want to tell me?"

Taking her aunt's hand Kelly nodded, "I just wanted to say that I'm happy I have you." She exhaled, "I'm also happy that you didn't mind me disappearing for three weeks with no phone call."

"Yeah, well from what I've sees, I'm glad you didn't." Her finger pointed to a web site on her computer screen. "Anything to say before everyone else sees?"

"I am so going to kill Rick!" Kelly jumped to her feet leaving the office to bump into Clay, "Hey!" Her eyes were going up to his seeing his face. "Is there anything you need?"

Clay looked over her face for a second, "I have a meeting with Irish." He glanced into the office at Gemma, "Something wrong?"

"No, just some prick named Rick; he posted a lot of stuff I did while away online." Her face glared back to the computer screen, "You need me to do something while you're gone?"

"No, I wanted to know you wanna come along." He could see the look on Gemma's face, "Your bikes outside the club house, you can get it ready." He watched Kelly walking away. "You got something to say?" He looked over Gemma.

"No, just getting on top of work," She put her glasses on going back to the work on her desk. Watching the door close behind Clay she glared at the door.

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><p>Brushing her hands against her bike Kelly smiled, she'd not seen it for nearly a month, and to top that off she'd not be able to ride it in too long. Picking up her helmet she felt a hand wrap around her stomach pulling her close, "You know it's not nice to keep someone waiting." Juice whispered into her ear.<p>

Kelly spun around staring at him, "And it's ever worse to rush a lady," She pointed out lightly poking his nose, "I told you I need to think." She pointed out tapping her helmet to her hand.

Juice let her go, his eyes looking over her face, "Anything you want to tell me about?" He asked brushing a hand down her arms, his hand holding hers for a second.

"You saw the site my friend put up." Kelly placed the helmet on her bike, "So, what are trying to say?"

"I'm pretty sure I saw enough," Juice exhaled, "I guess I never expected that side of you to, well…"

"Still exist now I'm no longer single." She asked her voice dropped, but her hands running down his cut holding herself against him. "I'm not that kind of girl."

Juice sighed, "I might have worried a little," He kissed her softly, "You have a lot of guy friends." He pointed out seeing Jax making his way over.

"Are you two always going to be like that?" He asked covering his eyes, "Seriously Juice, put her down for once, you don't know what she could have."

Kelly gasped slapping her cousin's arm, "I have you know I never cheated!" Her voice squeaked, her attention back to Juice, "Don't even think that happened." Letting her fingertips touched Juice's face looking in his eyes, "They posted that to push your buttons."

"Worked," Juice couldn't look away from her eyes staring up at him, "But I'm not mad…" He exhaled resting his forehead against hers.

"Okay, I think you've had enough of that today," Clay placed his hand on Juice's shoulder pulling him back, "You've still got a lot to do today," His stared at Juice.

Juice nodded, "Yeah, I am on that right now." He pointed to the club house; he gave Kelly's hand a squeeze rushing off.

Kelly laughed covering her mouth looking up to Clay, "Sorry, it's just so funny…" She held her ribs doubling over in a fit of giggles, "Oh, his face!"

"Who face?" Chibs asked walking towards Clay, "I guess you're feeling better this morning." He patted Kelly's back watching her standing back up. "Have you done something new?" He asked looking over her face in more detail.

"Nose!" Jax poked Kelly's face, he laughed when her hand slapped him away. "Oh someone is moody."

Kelly glared, "It's a nose stud, and I pretty sure that it's not a big deal." Picking her helmet up she smiled to Chibs and Bobby, "It's nice to see you two."

Bobby laughed, "I see you're in better spirits since last night, what did you do the whole time you were away?" Bobby started to put his helmet on studying over Kelly's face, he was happy to see her being her bright self.

With her helmet and riding glasses on Kelly laughed, "Oh you know the usual, sex drugs and rock and roll." Getting on her bike she felt better than she had in days. "But then now I have to kill my best friend for posting all the stupid shit I did on the internet."

Clay exhaled, "Bobby, get Juice on taking that website down," He turned to Kelly and smiling, "Don't worry; I think we won't think any less of you." He patted Kelly's back getting on his own bike. "Now we've a lot of shit to cover today and we need to get it done."

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><p>"You got that shit off the internet?" Jax stepped into the club house grabbing himself a beer, he quickly glanced over something Juice was watching intently. "Hey!" He slapped the back of Juice's head.<p>

Juice paused the video quickly looking to Jax, "Yeah…" He rubbed the spot where Jax smacked him, "I got it off a while ago, after taking some of the videos to watch." He paused seeing the look on Jax's face.

"You're not having doubts?" He asked looking to the screen, he didn't know what was happening but could see Kelly was sitting on some guys laptop with a joint in one hand and a beer in the other. "She's young, it's what they do." He sat down beside Juice closing the laptop up. "You going to be paranoid about her actions like some pussy bitch?"

"No!" Juice snapped back, "But this Rick dude seems all over her all the time." He pointed out, "So maybe I have my doubts, she could have done anything with him." He brushed his hands over his head.

Jax laughed, "Look I know Kelly, and if she said she didn't do anything, she didn't." He patted his shoulder. "I'd advise you delete that shit from your computer before it corrupts your mind."

"What's going on?" Opie asked sitting with Jax with a beer, he could see the closed laptop and Juice staring at it.

Jax laughed, "One of Kelly's friends posted some shit she did in New York," He pushed the laptop towards Opie, "Got Juicy boy's tails all in a feather." He pointed out with a smirk.

"Kelly do something to piss you off?" Opie sat beside Juice; he pulled the laptop towards himself opening the lid watching it turn back on. He glanced over the video for a second. "Well can see why she was so tired last night."

Juice exhaled, "I ask her if she wanted to move in with me, and she's not given me an answer yet, and this douche bag is all over her." He closed the laptop again giving it a dirty look.

"Ah!" Jax got a beer for Juice, "Seriously Dude, you gotta trust her, cos did you see her all over your shit every time you've come back from a run?"

"No," Juice took the beer taking a swig from it, "But it's different, she's a girl. Girls are meant to be all monogamous and shit."

Opie laughed, "I'm monogamous, Jax is," He looked over to his best friend, "The whole point of having an old lady, is not having to get with Croweater cos it's not worth pissing them off."

"What Opie is trying to say, you gotta trust her like she trusts you." He patted his back, "And if you do try and dip your feet in another girl's pool, you have us to answer to." He got up looking to Opie with a grin.

"You two seriously have this older brother act down," Juice opened the laptop again, they were right after all.

Opie nodded, "It's what we do," He drank some of his beer, "Plus Jax I need to talk to you about something." He walked away from Juice who started to delete the videos he downloaded off his computer.

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><p>Lyla sat in Tara's office looking around all the diplomas, she knew Tara was smart, but being in her office alone was a little intimidating when she thought of what she did with her life. She inhaled closing her eyes trying to think through her plan, but it was hard for her to focus when everything felt like it was piling up on top of her.<p>

"Hey," Tara smiled walking into the office seeing Lyla sitting with her hands over her face, she closed the door trying to work out what was wrong.

Lyla looked up with a small smile, "I just needed to know if you could do me a favour," Getting to her feet she didn't know what else to do.

"Sure," Tara walked over to her desk looking over the time for her next surgery, "Everything okay with you and Ope?"

Lyla laughed, "Yeah, we're fine, it's just I need to ask you if there was something…" She exhaled feeling worse, "It's Ope, he's really pushing this whole baby thing."

"And you're still not ready?" Tara asked leaning against her desk looking over Lyla, she didn't really understand the other woman, but she was still nice and a good mother figure for Ellie and Kenny.

Lyla shook her head, "I don't know what to do, I tried to talk to him, but it just seems like he's set in wanting a baby and I don't know if I can risk losing him if I don't." Her hands rested in her pockets while she rocked on the balls of her feet.

"Oh," Tara folded her arms, "I'm not in the specialty of fatality, but I can speak to someone if you want any help?"

Lyla shook her head, "It's not that," She started while playing with her pockets. "It's just I am still taking the pill."

"Shit!" Tara slipped out, "You know things like this don't stay kept secret long, and Opie is going to click sooner or later and it's going to end badly." Her eyes were scanning over the other woman. "I don't know what you want me to do to help you."

"I'm sorry," Lyla brushed a hand under her eyes, "I just needed someone to talk to, but I can see this was a big mistake." Picking up her coat she headed for the door.

"Lyla wait!" Tara stepped forward, "I'm sorry, it's just a shock, but if you want, if Opie says anything to me, I'll try and cover, but you're going to have to tell him how you feel about having a baby before this all goes horribly wrong. And it will if he finds out."

"Okay, thank you." Lyla kissed Tara's cheek walking out of the office leaving Tara looking worried.

* * *

><p>Kelly knew she was still a prospect, but felt better about the ride. She had to wait outside with the bikes. It didn't bother her as she could see Juice sitting at a table looking over his laptop. She crept up behind him covering his eyes with a giggle, "Hey baby." She kissed the side of his neck looking over his work.<p>

Juice smiled turning to face her, "Have a nice time?" He asked pulling her to sit on his lap, his hand running up her thigh.

"It was okay, Clay's a little wound up, but oh well." Her hand brushed over his Mohawk, "you're looking a little messy, want me to fix it tonight?" She asked looking into his eyes seeing that he had something on his mind.

"Yeah sure," He hugged onto her, "I'm sorry." He blurted out giving her a kiss, "I shouldn't have bugged you about what you did when you were away."

"Okay…" Kelly looked sceptical about it, "What you want to know?" She asked moving back to get a better look of his face.

Juice gave her thigh a squeeze, "This Rick guy, how long have you known him?" He asked trying to control the tone of his voice, but couldn't help but be worried about the answer.

"When I was seventeen my mom moved us to Salt Lake City, and Rick was the person who took me in," Her hands resting on his shoulder. "We both hate our parents, and said we were going to run away together." She laughed, "We both agreed to go NYU, because it seemed like a cool city to run away." She bit her lip thinking about it. "Rick is a nice guy, and before you ask. Yes we've had sex."

Juice rolled his eyes, "So you were together?" He asked, but he couldn't stop his face from falling moving his hand from her leg.

Kelly quickly grabbed it, "Hey!" Her eyes glared at him, "I don't know if you noticed, but just cos I had sex with the guy, doesn't mean shit now cos it happened years ago." Her voice was trying to stay calm. "Rick's my friend, but I don't want you thinking I ran to New York to fuck some other guy."

"Then why did you run off to New York for?" Juice asked looking worried.

"I needed to clear my head Juan, after everything that happened to me, I just needed a place where I wasn't kidnapped and beaten. I needed to get away from."

"Me…" He cut in watching her eyes, "You needed a break from me for what I did to that guy."

Kelly's face dropped, her hands touching his cheeks glancing over his facial expression. "I just needed time to think what I want and need from this." Her voice sounding honest, but she didn't want to hurt him. "When it comes to you I can't trust my emotions."

"And I can trust mine," Juice felt his hands running over hers, "From the moment I knew I was falling in love with you I was terrified." He exhaled, "I didn't want to have feelings for you, and you just think of me as some squeeze."

"No," Kelly butted in, "I couldn't think of you like that." For a second she rested her forehead on his, "When I say I love you, I mean it, and I'm not going to lie and say that I've never slept around cos when I was teen I was a total slut. I mean I'd sleep with any guy to piss my mom off and it worked." She then smiled, "But I found Rick, who changed me, he made me realise I didn't have to do stupid shit to make me happy, and he's been a great friend, except when he's a giant dick trying to piss my boyfriend off."

Juice laughed, "That was a lot to share." He kissed her nose, "But I think I should take Jax's advice and stop being a pussy."

"Yes, stop being a pussy; cos I've already got one, I don't need another one." Raising her eyebrow she reached over picking up his bottle of beer taking a sip, "So you going to grow a pair and take me back to your place after your meeting?"

"I'll do that," He ran his hands into her hair kissing her, his fingertips lightly tugging at it making the kiss deeper.

Chibs walked by tapping Juice's shoulder, "Time and Place Juicy boy!" He laughed looking over Kelly's face, "You can have him all to yourself after the meeting." He gave her a wink. "Maybe make a man out of him." He laughed walking into the chapel.

Kelly got up brushing her hand down her jeans, "You better give yourself a moment," She chuckled going to get the presents ready for when the meeting was finished.


	3. Choices to make

**AN:**Chapter is up, So I am going to hope you like where it's going. I am going to try my best to keep them at a good length, so enjoy...

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<br>**_Choices to make_

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><p>Jax was lying in bed his hand running down Tara's back, he couldn't stop smiling to himself as he could see she was stirring out of sleep, "Morning darling." He whispered as Tara rolled over to look at his face.<p>

"Morning…" Tara started to sit up brushing her hair from her face, "Guess you've got a lot on your mind if you're awake before me." She whispered carefully, her hand moving up Jax chest.

"Yeah," He exhaled pulling her into his arms, "Got a lot going on today, new deals to make." He watched her face change, "I told you I'm biding our time."

"I know," Tara tried to stop herself from frowning, "I know. It's just the longer we wait, the deeper we get." Her hand touched his face, "I want to know is this what you really want?"

"Yes, it's what I really want." He kissed her softly, "But right now you have to deal with my mom and wedding plans."

Tara closed her eyes trying not to laugh, "She's really laying it on thick about this wedding." Her eyes opened to see Jax grinning. "I guess you're both egger for a wedding to happen." She added with a giggle.

Jax pulled her on his lap, his hands moving across her stomach, "I want you as my wife," He kissed down the side of her neck. "Maybe we should think about setting a date for the wedding."

"And maybe we should think about guests and flowers…" Tara squealed as Jax spun them around so he was lying on top of her.

"Not my thing darling, but if you want to start on that…" He buried his face in her neck again kissing her while running his hands up her night shirt.

Tara giggled feeling him playing about, she then paused with the sound of Thomas crying; "Guess I have to see to that." She looked up into Jax's eyes. "But okay we'll take about setting a date."

"Tonight, when I take you out for dinner," He said with a wink.

Tara nodded, "And by taking us out to dinner, you mean take out at home." She pushed him off herself getting out of the bed, "But tonight, date setting for big wedding that Gemma will take over."

"She's my mom; she always has to have her two cents in it." He laughed watching Tara leave the room. Getting out of the bed also Jax headed to the bathroom, he looked out into the hall to see Tara walking Thomas into the kitchen with Abel walking behind her. He smiled before closing the bathroom door to shower.

* * *

><p>Kelly was swinging on the stripper pole while Phil was stocking the bar; every now and then his eyes would look up to Kelly as she kept moving around. "You know, you'd be a lot more entertaining if you did it right…" He laughed watching her pose like a stripper.<p>

"Better?" She asked swinging around again making a face; she stopped seeing Miles walk out of the room area, "Oh." She stopped getting down.

"Hey don't stop on my behalf," Miles smiled to Kelly, he hadn't really had time to get to know her, but knew she was Juice's girl. "Killing time?"

"Yeah, Clay wanted to talk, but he's gone out for a big important thing, so..." She stomped her feet waving her hands. "I am here!"

Miles laughed, "The only female prospect," He waved a hand in front of Kelly as she took a bow. "But really, you seriously are doing this?" He asked her watching her sit down taking out a smoke.

"Yup," Kelly inhaled the smoke, she watched as Miles sat at the table with her, "But I can understand why not many people get it, it's the vagina thing." She flicked some ash off her smoke, "It's a little scary having one in an all penis environment."

"So you would think," Miles reached over picking up Kelly's pack of smoke, he took one out lighting it, "So aside from being the niece of Clay, plus close with Juice. What other pulls you have with this club?" He asked exhaling smoke.

Kelly raised her eyebrow, "What are you getting at?" She brought the smoke to her lips, she exhaled looking him over.

Miles shrugged, "I was just making an observation, you have the president and V.P as family, close with Opie like he's your brother, and then you manage to get yourself in bed with Juice." He waved his hands while shrugging his shoulders. "Just seems a little odd to me."

"Well," Kelly snubbed the smoke out in the ashtray, "I guess you've made your mind up about me, you think what you want sweetheart, but you're dead wrong about me and Juan!"

Miles laughed, "Hey cutie I was just messing with ya!" He got to his feet placing a hand on her shoulder.

Phil couldn't look away, his mind going over what would happen next, but Kelly stepped away from Miles hand glaring at him. "You're a total dick!" She walked out of the club house heading towards the auto shop lighting another smoke.

"Hey Trouble!" Tig called watching Kelly walking across the lot, she exhaled kicking a cars tire looking pissed off. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing!" Putting out her smoke under her foot she exhaled, "Where's Juan?" She asked, her eyes scanning around the lot.

Tig watched her, "He's doing a favour for Unser," He walked closer to Kelly wrapping his arm around her, "Something on your mind?"

"No," She smiled looking up to him, "I'm fine just wanted to see how everything's going." She knew that it was easy to tell she was lying, but Tig didn't push it further.

Tig tapped her shoulder, "Fancy giving me a hand?" He asked pointing over to a car.

"I'll pass," Kelly put her hands into her pockets looking back to the club house, "I think I'll just wait for Clay." She started to walk back to the club house, but paused turning back again. "Want me to get you anything to eat?"

"Sandwich would be nice." Tig shouted, he turned to see that Clay and Jax were returning from the deal, "Second that give me the sandwich after the meeting." He took his work shirt off picking up his cut heading to the club house.

Kelly watched as behind Jax and Clay was Juice with another bike, she smiled seeing as he parked it close to her, "Hey babe," He kissed her cheek, "You okay?"

"I'm fine, you better run along to the meeting," She kissed him watching him head towards the club house, she exhaled walking behind everyone looking to Phil at the bar, he gave her a small nod as she now went back to sitting at a table. Like Phil they both stared at the chapel wondering what was being talked about.

* * *

><p>"Jesus Wayne when did you last ride this?" Juice snapped taking the bike apart.<p>

Unser went from looking at the bike to Juice, "I think I still had hair…" He looked unsure of his answer, but turned to Kelly when she started to laugh. "I am glad you are finding this amusing." He could see Clay making his way across.

Kelly jumping off the desk walked over to Juice as Unser walked away, "I guess you're having a fun day." She brushed her hands up his back watching him fixing the bike.

"If you can call it that," He glanced over to Tig eating a sandwich. "Didn't think to make me one." He joked feeling her hands moving to his belt.

Kelly placed her chin on his shoulder, "I think what I have to offer you is much better than a sandwich." She whispered moving her hand over the front of his jeans, "Or if you rather me give you the sandwich and Tig…"

"No, I think I'm happy with what you're doing," He smirked trying all he could to keep focus on his job. "But is there any reason for this sudden need to…" He exhaled quickly. "Jesus Kelly!"

"Sorry," She giggled stepping away.

Juice put a part down turning to face her, "Okay, what is it?" He asked but stopped seeing Phil coming into the garage.

"It's Jax on the bar line, its sounds important," Phil glanced over to Kelly before turning and heading back to the club house followed by Bobby and Tig.

Juice looked from the bike to where everyone went, Kelly looking him over, "Give me your shirt, I'll carry on here, you go see what's wrong." She held her hands out.

"Thanks Kelly," He took his work shirt off handing it to her, he quickly kissed her before grabbing his cut heading to the club house.

Unser stepped back into the garage looking over Kelly putting on Juice's shirt; she started to pick up where he left off. "You know Kelly; it's been a long while since I last saw you." He laughed, "You were this little terror of a child, always used to get lost."

Kelly laughed, "Maybe because I knew I got to ride around in your squad car," Her eyes meeting his, "Must suck not being Chief anymore."

"Yeah, you could put it that way," He patted his hand on the bike, "So how you been doing, I heard about what happened." Unser see the change in her face as she worked on the bike.

Kelly exhaled, "I'm good," Her answer was blunt as she carried on avoiding looking at him, "I got to admit, you really need to take better care of a bike, it's not just a show piece, it's a full time commitment." Kelly finally looked at him, "What?"

"Nothing, just so much like Gemma you are," he patted her shoulder, "You're a good kid." He walked away leaving Kelly alone.

Putting a tool down she leant on the desk, her hands going into her hair trying to keep calm, every now and then if someone brought up her attack, she felt like it was going to crush her, but she stood back up heading for the bike.

* * *

><p>Kelly knew something was seriously wrong when she watched Clay walking out of the club house; everyone seemed to be following behind him. Each face looked pissed as she made her way over to Juice looking worried. "What's going on?" She asked hearing the sound of approaching squad cars.<p>

"Jax and Ope," Juice watch as Kelly's face changed, her eyes going wide as she thought of the worst. "It's going to be okay, we're going to fix this."

"Shit!" Kelly ran her hands into her hair seeing Roosevelt getting out of one of the cars, she kept thinking how it could get any worse. "What is he doing here?"

Not hearing much of the conversation between Clay and Roosevelt Juice kept in front of Kelly, he just wanted to get Jax and Opie, but the fire truck made everyone's head turn.

"Do you smell smoke?" Roosevelt said heading into the club house, he walked right in like he owned the place, but everyone followed him in to see what on earth he was up to.

Kelly stepped in last looking to the fire fighters standing in different places in the club, her eyes kept focused on Roosevelt; she had a horrible feeling about this. "What is he doing?" Kelly whispered to Juice as he placed a hand on her lower back holding her close.

Roosevelt stood in front of the mug shot wall; he was studying over all the faces, "I notice there's no colour on this wall…" He folded his arms turning around to face Clay.

"We have no problems with colour," Clay stated while he lent on the bar looking over Roosevelt.

He grinned, "As long as they stays out of Charming," Roosevelt walked to wall, he placed his hand against the wall, "This feel warm." He ran it around the frames, "Yes, maybe it's electrical." He walked over to a fire fighter taking his axe.

Kelly's eyes went wide as he swung the axe against the wall starting to smash it up, she went to step forward but Juice's arm pulled her back. "What the fuck!" She shouted feeling her face change colours.

Roosevelt went on to smashing windows to the chapel, he busted the door open, and Kelly turned to see Clay looking fuming, his eyes glaring as the man carried on smashing up his club house.

Kelly couldn't take it anymore turning around walking out of the club house, it wasn't long until the other's followed as she leant against a wall taking out a smoke, she watched as the Fire fighters left, Roosevelt handing Clay a note of code violations, "Fucking wanker!" Kelly s snapped feeling Juice's hands were rubbing on her shoulders. She exhaled smoke handing it to Juice watching him take a pull of it.

"I know," He watched the squad car leave with the fire engine, "We're gonna go fix this thing, get Jax and Opie." He held a hand on her chest handing her the smoke back, "I need you to stay here." He said carefully.

"Why?" Kelly looked over his eyes, "What is it?" She asked feeling something sinking in her stomach.

Juice exhaled, "It's The White Werewolfes," He knew it was going to hit her hard, "I don't know why they are retaliating now, but…" He brushed a hand against her face. "We're going to fix this; nothing is going to happen to you." He focused on her eyes, his hands moving into her hair.

"Okay," Kelly bit her lip, "It's just…" She felt Juice pulling her into his arms.

"It's going to be okay, just remember I'm here." He whispered into her hair holding her closer.

"Juice, we're leaving!" Clay called out watching Juice holding onto Kelly. He had a feeling she would have this kind of reaction. "Come on!"

Kelly pulled away from Juice trying to smile, "I'm good," She kissed his cheek quickly, "you better leave." She patted his arm watching him looking to the others.

"I'll do something when I get back," He backed away from Kelly, "We won't be too long." He rushed to his bike taking one last look at Kelly as she put her smoke out heading back into the club house.

* * *

><p>"This is going to take forever to get back to normal!" Phil pushed a broom across the floor; he glanced up to see Kelly picking up all the photo frames. "I can't believe that guy." He could tell by the look on Kelly's face that she wasn't in a talkative mood.<p>

George cleaning off a table turned to Phil and sighed, "I guess this is a lot of shit to happen today." His eyes were going from Phil to Kelly, he was the newest to Prospect, but he didn't understand why Kelly would be so miserable right now. "I guess we've got a lot of work to do now."

"But it's what we signed up for," Phil kept sweeping; his shifted his glanced to Kelly staring at a photo of John Teller, "A lot of work to do." He walked up behind Kelly placing a hand to her shoulder. "You okay?"

Kelly spun around still holding the photo, "I'm cool." She placed the photo on top of the others she was picking up, "Just trying to find a reason for all of this shit." She waved a hand, "It's like one thing blows over for another shit storm to knock us on our asses again."

"But The Club gets through it," Phil explained, "It's just how it works, stuff happens, we fix it, we get stronger." He smiled.

Kelly rolled her eyes with a giggle, "God I hate you sometimes Phil!" She pulled him into a hug.

Standing still for a few seconds Phil wrapped his arms around her hugging back, he felt her head resting on his chest as he brushed a hand down her back. "Okay, I think you should hate me more often."

Pulling away quickly Kelly heard the sound of approaching bike; she looked up to Phil with a bigger smile. "They're back!" She broke into a run leaving the club house, she see Juice getting off his bike.

Juice felt the full weight of Kelly hitting him; he took a step back wrapping his arms around her. "It's taken care of." He whispered into her ear feeling her hands running up his back, her head resting on his chest.

Kelly let Juice go turning around to see Opie and Jax, her eyes going to the blood on the side of Jax's head, she rushed over to him wrapping her arms around him, "Shit!" She exhaled.

"Nice to see you too Kelly," Jax studied over her face, "I can officially tell you we'll be having no more trouble from that MC," He touched her cheek, "So you've got nothing to worry about."

"Cool," Her eyes going to the Club House.

"How bad is it?" He asked looking behind her.

Kelly bit her lip, "It's pretty bad," She looked to Tara taking his hand walking him to the Club house, Kelly looked to Opie with Lyla before heading back into the club house to see everyone's reaction.

Jax felt sick looking at the mess; He kicked something turning to see everyone was looking upset by what was going on.

Tara glanced over to Jax; she turned to look at everyone while she broke into a smile. "Me and Jax have an announcement," She turned to look at Jax, "We've set a date for the wedding."

Kelly rushed to Tara hugging her, "Congratulations!" She then hugged Jax as well giving him a pat on the back.

"Well get the drinks in," Clay said as music started to play, he walked over to Tara giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Juice walked over to Kelly handing her a drink, he kissed her cheek knocking his shot back. "So have you had time to think?"

Kelly knocked her own shot back, "I've thought about it," She smiled giving him a quick kiss, "Let's do it," She wrapped her arms around his neck looking up into his eyes, "I'll move in with you." She kissed him feeling his hands running down her back holding her against him.

Juice pulled back watching Kelly's face, "you really mean it?" He asked feeling the grin breaking over his face.

"I mean it; I practically stay at yours all the time," She exhaled, "So living together seems to be where we're heading." Her smile brightening up, "Love you." She felt his forehead resting on hers.

* * *

><p>The party was in full swing as Kelly sat on Juice lap looking to everyone enjoying themselves, she could feel Juice's hand resting on her lap, "So when we going to move your stuff into my place?" He asked brushing his hands against her stomach.<p>

"You two are moving in together," Chibs laughed passing Juice a beer, "I'd say congratulations, but I'll assume you don't want to outshine Jacky boy." He sat down on the table looking to Kelly.

She smiled resting into Juice's arms, "It's only moving in, it was going to happened eventually." Her hand patted onto his, "But right now I need to…" She pointed towards the bathroom.

"Okay," Juice let Kelly get up; he kept grinning as she disappeared.

Chibs laughed, "Juicy boy," his eyes went in the direction Kelly went, "Getting pretty serious, won't be too long until you two start popping out…"

"No," Juice laughed, "I think Kelly's still not up to the idea of kids, not after what happened to her." He took a sip of his beer.

Kelly walked out of the bathroom, she paused standing outside a room, her hands going to her pockets hearing the voices of Tigs and Bobby talking. "I told you he's shutting us out." Bobby said in a low voice, "And if we vote this, it's only going to go bad."

"Look we've got to trust Clay, and if running coke for the Galindo Cartel, then it's what we've got to do to trust him." Tig exhaled, "Bobby, I'm sorry, but I can't vote against this."

Kelly stepped away from the door hearing Tig walking towards the door, she tried to keep a calm face, but knew something wasn't right if the Club was going to be doing business with drug lords, and she didn't like the sound of it.


	4. The Vote

**AN: **Hello all, I just would like to say that I am really happy with how this story is going, and there is nothing like opening a chapter with some smut, so I hope you all enjoy the read.

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><p><strong>Chapter four<br>**_The Vote_

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><p>Out of breath Juice rolled off Kelly grinning from ear to ear, he watched as she reached over to her nightstand getting a tin. "You know the best thing about you living here?" He asked watching her sitting up in bed starting to roll a joint.<p>

"Now what would that be?" She kissed his cheek taking some paper out.

Juice moved her closer to him, his arm wrapping around her waist, he could still see the sweat glistening off her skin, lightly kissing her shoulder as she rolled, "Morning sex." He kept kissing her, his hand moving between her thighs.

"Oh, and then afternoon sex, before dinner sex, and the not so forgettable right before bed sex." Kelly bit her lip feeling his fingers working over her, "And if you want this rolled right, you need to let me focus!" She snapped at him with a giggle.

"Best thing ever, sex and weed," He buried his face in her neck, "I wanna keep you." He purred hugging her close to him.

Kelly rolled her eyes while she finished the joint off, "Well Mr lover, lover." Her eyes looking into his, "You've got me, so it's safe to say I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, cos if you did, I'd have to chase you," He looked over the tin, "Is that all we've got?"

She put her tin back on the nightstand, "You're going to need to get us a refill, cos we're almost out." She lit the joint taking a pull before passing it to him.

"Yeah, I can run by the Spa to pick some up…" He stopped seeing her face, "What?"

Kelly was giving him a dirt look, "That place is not a spa; a spa has facials, massages and lots of calm relaxing things." She took the joint off him, "That place is a colonic spa. That just really grosses me out."

Juice watched her inhaling some of the joint taking it from her placing it in the ashtray beside his bed, "Grosses you out!" He pulled her on top of him, "So how you going to fuck a guy that part owns that place." He looked into her eyes holding his hands on her hips.

"I think since you mentioned it, maybe I should pass…" She nodded, "Yeah, passing on the grounds of that gross thing you put your money into…" She screamed as he flipped her on her back, he laid over her kissing her neck.

"Oh you really want to pass on me?" He moved his hands around her back, he pulled her closer as she was giggling and trying to wiggle away. "Come on; tell me you don't want it."

Kelly tried to bite her lip to stop her laughing, but she felt him leaning forward kissing down her neck, he kept moving down her body, "I'm not saying anything!" Kelly closed her eyes feeling his lips moving down her stomach.

Juice glanced up watching her squirming, "So, you don't want this?" He asked moving further down the bed, kissing her hips; he could feel her breathing faster as his moved down.

"Oh sweet Jesus!" Kelly grabbed the pillow covering her face, she feeling Juice's tongue pleasuring her as she tried hard to control her breathing.

Juice smirked carrying on, his finger running up her stomach, he felt her hand grabbing hold of it as he knew he was hitting all the right spots, he felt her thighs shaking as he went harder, his free hand running up her back pulling her closer to him still. He could feel his hard on pressing against the mattress as her hand reached for his shoulders pulling him up. "I think you still need to say it." He watched her eyes.

"Just fuck me already!" Kelly pulled him into her feeling the release of her tension.

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><p>Making breakfast Juice turned to see Kelly walking into the kitchen, she was wearing her usual jeans, a purple tank top with a black and white plaid shirt over the top. He glanced to her biker boots with her jeans tucked in, "You ready for today?" He asked watching her walking to the coffee pot.<p>

"About so," She poured a coffee out looking over Juice, "Please tell me you're gonna shower." She found her hair brushed that she kept in the kitchen going over her damp hair.

Juice laughed, "And what if I don't?" He asked moving some eggs around in a frying pan.

"So you're going to walk around smelling like weed and sex." Kelly raised her eyebrow putting her hair into a ponytail. "You just like to show off don't you?"

"But you love it," He smiled turning to face her, "Eggs over easy," He placed them on two pieces of toast placing the plate on the table, "And if you insist, I'll go take a shower." He kissed her cheek going to head out of the kitchen.

"Juan wait," Kelly called looking as he turned on the balls of his feet to face her. Kelly kept looking over him standing in just his boxers, "There was something I overheard the other night, and it's been really bugging me."

"What you hear?" He asked feeling curious.

Kelly pursed her lips, but had to let it out, "Well it was Bobby and Tig talking about a vote, and then I heard them mention running coke for the Cartel." Her hands went into her pocket. "It's not true; the club isn't getting into running drugs?"

Juice froze, he knew this kind of information was only meant to stay with the club members, but he exhaled, "Are you sure that was what you heard?" He asked stepping closer to her, his hand rested on the side of her face.

"Yeah, Tig was saying he was going to vote for it. Bobby sounded upset about it; it sounded like he doesn't trust Clay." Her eyes were searching Juice; she knew this was never a good thing. The Sons prided themselves on being a drug free club.

"I…" He exhaled looking around the room, "You're breakfast is getting cold." He pointed out watching Kelly look to the kitchen table, "I can't really talk about this." He turned away heading for the bathroom.

Kelly now sat back at the table pushing her fork into the toast feeling her lack of appetite, but felt like her stomach had been hollowed out, and worst of all Juice wasn't confirming or denying what she heard, making her know what she overheard must be true.

* * *

><p>Tig stood outside with a smoke watching as Kelly and Juice pulled up to the warehouse, he smirked watching Kelly take off her helmet, but could see she didn't look happy. "Ah, is Juice here not living up to your expectations in the bedroom department?" He joked seeing Juice give him a dirty look.<p>

Kelly walked up the entrance, she took a packet of smoke out lighting one up, "Tig, don't insult his performance," She patted his shoulder, "He does everything I need him to do." She winked walking into the warehouse.

Juice stopped looking to make sure Kelly was out of ear shot, "You need to be more careful about conversations you have about the vote today." He shifted his eyes to double check Kelly couldn't hear.

"What you talking about?" Tig put his smoke out.

Juice exhaled, "This morning Kelly told me that she heard you and Bobby talking about the drug run vote."

"Shit!" Tig turned to look in the warehouse, "And what did you tell her?" He rubbed his hand against his jaw.

Juice shrugged, "I couldn't think of what to say, I just said I couldn't talk about it." He reached into his cut pocket getting out his own smokes, "She's freaked, and to be honest I don't like it."

"No," Tig put his hands in his pockets, "The best we can do right now is just make sure Clay doesn't know that she knows." He nodded, "You make sure she keeps that information to herself."

"Yeah sure," Juice lit the smoke up looking into the warehouse again, "You really had to make the dig about my sex life?"

Tig held his hands up, "She looks dissatisfied, if you want I can always give you some handy tips." He smirked.

Juice shook his head, "I do her fine. I did her three times this morning." He pointed out, his eyes focused on Tig.

"I didn't want to know that!" Opie stepped up from behind them holding some wood for making the boxes, "I seriously didn't want to hear that." He walked passed them heading for a back room.

Tig laughed, "Yeah, well you know how to get hold of me," He rushed into the warehouse as Juice went to punch his arm.

"Dick!" Juice muttered walking in to see everyone was working, he put on some gloves taking his time going over a piece of wood, he glanced over to Kelly standing by a wall looking over everything Opie was doing.

"When they weight it, the guns will equally measure the weight of the parts," Opie explained to Clay putting a gun into a secret compartment.

Kelly peeked over Clay's shoulder, "Looking good Ope," Clay said touching his shoulder; he turned to walk out, "I'm going to meet with The Wahewah, Bobby I want you to come with me." He started to walk to the door.

"I could come," Tig stood to his fully high.

"Nah I want you here keeping an eye on things here," He pointed out while seeing Chibs walk out of the restroom looking like shit. "What wrong with you?"

"Mexicans done a right number on me," Chibs held his stomach walking over to a wall to lean on, he looked to Kelly, "Whatever you do, don't go in there." He said watching her face.

"It's all that crap you eat. I tell you a little herbal tea; a colonic treatment will wash all that out." Juice smiled looking over to Chibs.

"I think I might be sick!" Tig snapped out.

Bobby following to leave with Clay, "Seems like all them burritos with Jack and Jimmy is catching up with ya."

Kelly placed a hand over her mouth, "I'd like to keep my breakfast down please." She then turned to Juice.

"What, I'm telling you, I'll take you down there, it'll make you feel great." Juice watched as Clay and Bobby left.

Holding her hand up Kelly stared to Juice, "Juan the more you talk about that god damn Colonic Spa, the less chances you have of ever getting laid again!" She exhaled, "Plus the smell from the bathroom is making me wanna barf!" She rushed out to get some air.

"Poor lass," Chibs now crawled over to the table laying on it, "I think I'm calling man down." He looked up to Juice, "I'll give it a go, after I lay here for a bit."

* * *

><p>When Jax left the club house with the others, Kelly felt her phone ringing in her pocket. She only heard the tail end of a gun problem as she pressed the answer button, "Yes Gemma?"<p>

"Hey sweetheart, I'm gonna need you to do a favour for me." Gemma didn't sound like she was asking; more like telling Kelly she's going to help.

Watching the guys ride away Kelly exhaled, "Sure, where you need me to meet you?" She turned on her heels heading into the warehouse again.

"Just meet me in the chapel at the hospital." Gemma hung the phone up quickly.

Kelly placed her phone into her pocket seeing Juice, Phil, George and Chibs were the only ones left behind. "I gotta go deal with some shit with Gemma," She reached over brushing a hand on Chibs head, "You'll be okay without me?"

"I'll be fine as soon as Juice here gets me what I need." He turned his head as much as he could to Juice finishing off a box.

Kelly nodded, "Yeah," Her attention to Juice, "Meet you at the club house later?" She asked picking up her prospect cut, she put it on quickly.

"Sure," He pointed at his cheek, "Give me?" He gave her a big smile.

Kelly laughed as she crossed the room; she grabbed his face giving him a kiss, "Don't forget my weed!" She let his face go.

"I won't forget," Juice laughed watching her pass Chibs still lying on the table curling into the foetal position.

"What about me love…" Chibs eyes moved about to get Kelly's attention, "I need it darling."

Kelly walked backwards to Chibs; she brushed her hands into his hair quickly kissing his scar, "Free love for you." She stood back up looking to Phil and George looking hopeful, "No!" She pointed picking her helmet up as she left the warehouse jumping on her bike.

* * *

><p>It didn't take long for Kelly to get to the hospital; she parked her bike getting off heading into the hospital. It didn't hit Kelly how long it had been since she last saw this place until she looked down the hallway where her room was, she brushed a hand over her head heading to the chapel to see Gemma with Unser.<p>

"She roped you in too I guess," Unser turned to Kelly exhaling, "You alright, looks like you've seen a ghost?"

Kelly shook her head, "I'm fine," Her attention going to Gemma, "What you need me for?" She asked slipping her hands into her pockets.

"I just need you to find Tara and keep her distracted for me," Her eyes going to Unser. "You're coming with me." She pointed out leaving the chapel.

Kelly grunted opening the door to the chapel watching Gemma and Unser making their way to Tara's office; she turned to walk the other way. She had no idea where she was going to find Tara, but she walked right into a woman wearing Glasses. "I'm sorry can I help you?" She asked looking Kelly over, and then stopped. "Kelly Madock, the one who disappeared."

"Yeah, that's me, I'm looking for Tara. You know where I can find her?" Kelly smiled trying to ignore the fact she hadn't come back for any follow up appointments.

"Well I am looking for her now," Margret said holding a folder closer to her chest. For a second she looked over Kelly, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine, peachy." Putting her hands still in her pockets she glanced around the halls, "I just need to find Tara."

Margret pushed her glasses up her nose, "If you're having health problems, I am more than happy to help you out." She smiled, but then again she didn't really know what to think of Kelly, "I mean if you're having any issues with your heart."

"It's fine, it's beating and I'm not dead." She started to walk in sync with the other woman, "So where are you going?"

Margret stopped looking over Kelly again, "I'm going to drop some things off at Tara's office." She tried to keep a friendly smile.

"Wait!" Kelly held her hands up, "I think I might have an issue, big one. It's a very big one that might need lots of your help." She watched as Margret started to walk again, but she was walking faster. "I think I'm having a heart attack!" She shouted after the woman, but she just kept walking. "Shit!" Kelly broke into a run to catch up with her, only to see her standing at Tara's office door with Unser spitting some bullshit about cancer treatment he didn't really care about.

Watching them walk away she popped her head in to the room seeing Gemma, "I tried to stall her, but she kinda." Kelly shrugged, "She didn't buy my fake heart attack." She stepped into the office closing the door. "So, you're not going to tell me what you're hunting for in here?" She asked stepping towards the desk.

"No," Gemma moved around the office, she smiled, "But thanks for trying." She looked over Kelly's face.

Kelly rolled her eyes, "Well I am going to make my way to the club house," Taking her cell phone out she walked away dialling Juice's number, but got no answer.

* * *

><p>Pulling up to the club Kelly saw Chibs looking much better, but she sighed getting off her bike seeing Juice's bike was nowhere to be seen. Taking her helmet off Chibs made his way over to her. "Juice's been pulled to the cop shop." He sounded worried as he could see she was as she closed her eyes.<p>

"Why?" Kelly asked trying to control herself, but felt bad about the whole thing.

Chibs touched her shoulder, "I think its possession, but it's not going to stick."

"Fuck!" Kelly looked up to Chibs, "Thanks for letting me know."

Pulling her into a hug Chibs rubbed her back looking around, "He'll let you know all about it when he gets back."

Kelly pulled away from the hug, "I bet he will," She could see Clay pulling up. So she knew the vote was going to happen soon, taking a step back Kelly watched as Gemma made her way over to Clay, the look on her face was showing that she wasn't happy about something. Chibs taking this time to pull Kelly out of the line of fire, but he couldn't stop Kelly from seeing what happened as Clay grabbed Gemma forcing her against the railing. Kelly moved into Chibs arms feeling her stomach sink. "Jesus…"

"I think its best we don't get involved." Chibs said to her holding her back, they both watched as Clay went into the club house.

"I gotta see if she's okay," Kelly took a step away from Chibs, she didn't want to wait around for Juice to show up as she rushed over to the office seeing Gemma sitting down on the couch with her hands holding onto her head. "Gemma…"

"Hey baby," She looked up, Kelly could see she was trying to hide the fear in her eyes, but Kelly just sat down next to her placing a hand on her knee. "I'm fine."

"If you say so," Kelly patted her hand before turning to face her aunt, "Was that about the drug vote?" She asked seriously.

"Jesus Kelly how'd you find out?" Her eyes went to the window trying to see if Juice was outside.

Kelly sighed, "I overheard Bobby and Tig," she placed her hands on her lap, "And right now I'm not even sure how this is going to work out, I have a bad feeling."

"You and me both darling," Gemma wrapped her arm around Kelly giving it a squeeze, "We'll make it through it, I promise."

* * *

><p>Feeling like shit as he walked out of the chapel Juice didn't want to stick around the club house, he stepped out seeing that Gemma and Kelly were standing in the doorway of the office. Both of them were watching everyone who was coming out of the Club house, the vote passing. Juice felt like this day was just getting worse, the photo of the man who was his father buried a hole in his mind, he didn't want to think about it, but the idea of the club throwing him out. He didn't want to think of what he'd lose, he knew the club was his family; everything he had built for himself could come crashing down like a house of cards.<p>

Watching as Kelly stepped away from Gemma running towards him didn't make him feel any better, her arms wrapping around him as he stood still in her arms. What would Kelly think of him when she finds out, if she found out? He felt her hair tickling his nose as he finally held her against him, he inhaled the small of her, the feeling of her body against him, and he'd do anything to keep this.

"Shit Juan I was scared!" Kelly said pulling back looking into his eyes, "Juan, you okay?" She asked biting her lip.

Juice let a fake smile slip, he didn't want to worry her with this, and he couldn't let her know anything as he brushed her hair from her face, "You ready to go home?" He asked softly pushing away the threat that Roosevelt said to him, he couldn't let it haunt him.

"Yeah," Kelly felt like something was missing, "So what happened at the cop shop?" She asked not knowing what else to say.

"Nothing, it was just a big misunderstanding," He reached into his pocket feeling the bag of weed they caught him with, but then exhaled, "Let's get home, I need my before dinner sex." He joked walking towards his bike, "You riding solo or doubling with me?"

Kelly could tell there was something in his voice, but shook it off rushing over to his bike, her helmet in hand as she got on the back of his bike holding her hands around his waist. Kelly didn't really know what else to say, but as they sped off home, she knew something just wasn't right, and she then knew that the Sons were now trafficking drugs.


	5. Secrets underneath

**AN:  
><strong>

This chapter was intense to write, so I hope you love it. I am pretty sure that episodes five and six would make one chapter, but it worked out that I got a lot done in this, so I am pretty happy. XxX

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter five<strong>  
><strong>__Secrets underneath__

* * *

><p>Walking around the apartment Kelly could see that Juice was not home, his cut was already gone with the keys to his bike. She looked for any kind of note to where he went, but she exhaled running a hand through her hair looking on the fringe. <em>Needed at warehouse, I'll see you after the show. <em>

Kelly sighed touching the note; she knew that last night something was wrong. Heading back to the bedroom Kelly found clothes for the day, getting dressed she quickly glanced to her phone seeing if she had any messages, but it seemed the note on the fridge was the best she was going to get.

Grabbing her keys, Kelly knew the only place she wanted to go today. On the ride she could only think of a conversation she had with Juice, she could remember him still denying the drugs, he was telling her not to worry, but she knew when she was being lied to.

Kelly had been lied to so much in her life; she tried to push the idea out of her head as she got off her bike just in time to see Gemma wishing the guys a safe ride. Watching them ride off she joined Gemma looking to the gate. "Off they go." She whispered taking her helmet off.

"What's the matter sweetheart," Gemma wrapped an arm around Kelly pulling her in, she turned to see Kelly didn't look so happy.

Kelly bit her lip, "It's nothing, Juan's being weird," She took a step forward heading for the office; "Last night we had this talk, then." She stopped her cheeks turning pink.

"Kelly if you're doing it, I think you can talk about it." Gemma stood in front of Kelly, "What's wrong?"

Kelly covered her eyes for a second, "He wasn't in the mood last night." She finally looked up to her aunt, "And he's never not in the mood, it's like a rare chance of him not waiting to."

"Have sex," Gemma cut in smiling to Kelly, "Darling, you're going to learn very soon when the guys have a lot on their mind, it does affect the need to please." Her hand went into Kelly's hair pushing it back, "It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means something is happening in the club that needs his full attention." Her smile tried to give Kelly some reassurances. "He'll be wanting it again before you know it," She laughed.

"Right," Kelly glanced to the auto shop with a twinkle of a smile on her face, "I think I'll get some work done today." She reached for her work shirt putting it over her white wife beater.

Gemma watched as Kelly started to make her way into the garage, "Hey Kelly," She waited for the girl to turn around to face her, "How about tonight you stay at mine, it'll beat us both being lonely."

"Sure," Kelly picked up a sheet seeing what needed to be done; she then walked back into the office looking at other jobs that needed to be done, "But no aunt, niece girly shit." She pointed out.

"Oh dear god no!" Gemma laughed, "I'll make use some dinner and we can just sit and watch crappy TV until we pass out."

Going back to the garage Kelly felt good, "Okay sounds like a deal." She watched as Gemma went back to doing work, she headed for a car that needed a new radiator hose.

* * *

><p>Juice sat on his bed looking at the time, it was just gone midnight and they finally got to the Tacoma chapter. While he looked around the four walls of the room he was staying in, he couldn't help but think. He wasn't much for sitting in deep thought as he pulled his cell phone out scrolling through pictures he kept on it, he could see all the smiles of Kelly staring back at him, and he knew how much he was willing to do to keep her.<p>

Pushing the phone away, he kept wondering about the club, figuring if what Roosevelt said was true, would it really be bad for them to find out about his black father? Would they push him out leaving him with nothing? Worst of all was the fact that Kelly was family of the club, would they exile her for wanting to stay with him, would she break up with him for something he couldn't control?

Juice couldn't take it, he reached for his cell phone getting up Kelly's number, and he hovered his finger over the call button for a while before pressing it. He listened to the ringing before he heard the pickup. "Hello." He listened to Kelly's voice; he let himself have this one small smile.

"Hey, just letting you know we got here safe," He said sitting up on the bed.

He listened to the sound of Kelly moving to another room, "That's good to hear," She said lightly, he could tell she was keeping her voice down, "You doing okay?"

"I'm good; I was just checking in on you, I'm sorry I didn't leave you anything." He relaxed thinking over what to talk about.

There was a pause on the other end of the line, "It's fine. You've got a lot going on." Kelly's tone sounded normal, but Juice knew she wasn't stupid. "I'm staying over Gemma's house until you guys get back." Kelly added, though he couldn't see what she was doing, he could just imagine her sitting at Gemma's kitchen table. He could hear her playing with something.

"That's cool; you want me to bring you back something?" He asked. He knew it was late, but he wanted to keep this conversation going, he missed seeing her last thing before falling to sleep.

He smiled bigger hearing Kelly giggle on the other end of the phone, "Bring yourself home, I think that is all I need, and want." Juice couldn't stop his own chuckle now.

"I'll do that," He replied, but now started to play with the sheets on the bed, "Kinda weird not going to sleep with you." He said feeling like a total pussy.

Kelly laughed again, "I feel weird going to sleep without right before bed sex, but then we all can't get what we want." He felt that hit him hard, he knew with everything on his mind, he didn't feel up to doing anything apart from sleep. "Juan I was kidding." Kelly added when he didn't say anything for a while.

"I know babe," He calmed himself down, "A lot of shit is happening in this chapter." He moved the phone to the other ear.

Kelly listened, he knew the silence, "So I guess you've got a lot riding on your mind, maybe you should try and get some sleep." He could tell this was her trying to wrap up the conversation.

Juice didn't want it to end now, but he could tell if it went on, she'd ask him about the drugs again. "Yeah, you sound tired too." He exhaled feeling like he was being pushed over the edge.

Kelly was silent again; Juice had never known a silent pause in a phone conversation to feel this tense. "Long day, I guess some douchebag thinks a female mechanic is a myth and tried to hover while I fixed his car." Juice knew the tone when she was pissed off.

"Babe, you're a great mechanic." He smiled thinking of her fixing up a car; he could imagine the events in his head.

Kelly laughed; it seemed he'd pushed her into a good mood, "I am great," He listened as she let out a yawn, "Also I'm beat, so I'll talk to you sometime tomorrow if you're not knee deep."

"Yeah, I'll call you if I get a minute," Juice exhaled feeling the moment of dread.

"I love you Juan," Kelly caught him by surprise, he smiled again.

"I love you Kelly," He replied feeling a little better, but worse at the same time, "Goodnight."

Kelly was quiet, for a second he thought she hung up the phone. "Goodnight baby," Her voice was soft, he couldn't help but feel bad listening to the line go dead, he placed the phone down on the nightstand exhaling.

Running his hands over his head he laid back on the bed staring at the ceiling now, he couldn't believe that now he was going to be more than knee high in shit, it was way over his head.

* * *

><p>Piney sat in the bed feeling worse; it was like everything he built his life around was a sham. The feeling of losing everything was making him feel like he was never going to have control of anything; the club he lived for was not the same club it once was. It was corrupted by greed and lies.<p>

Looking up as the door open as he saw Kelly was poking her head in, "What brings you to my bedside darling?" He asked as she stepped in the room closing the door behind her.

"I heard what happened, and I was worried." She replied sitting down on the bed, she reached into her bag taking out a sandwich, "Plus I know this hospital food tastes like dirt." She placed the food in front of him with a smile.

Piney picked the sandwich up studying it before placing it back down, he knew Kelly was a good kid, but he knew she had something playing on her mind. "I'm guessing you didn't come all this way to give an old man a sandwich." He stated while feeling bad, "What you need?"

Kelly bit her lip, "I know something, and I've tried to get Juan to talk, but he won't give me a straight answer." Her hands rested on her knees, and Piney knew why she was here.

"What you know?" He asked trying to keep a cool head, but how everything was going, he didn't know how much more shit he could take.

Sitting forward Kelly took a quick glance behind her, "I know about the Cartel, the coke run." Her hands moved up her thighs as she sat upright. Piney could tell she did know more than he suspected. "Juan told me it's not true, but I know a lie when it's being told."

"I guess you do," He said with a bitter tone, he moved the sandwich, "Kelly you know you're not meant to know that shit."

"I know, but I do." Her voice urgent, "Piney all my life I've admired this club because I thought it was about protecting Charming, keeping everything simple." Her hand ran into her hair. "But there is something happening that I can't help but fear, and this thing with Drugs, it's not right."

"No it's not," Piney said bluntly, he could tell her face changing made it harder. "But the best you can do is stay out of Clay's way; don't make him hurt you again."

"Again?" Kelly felt confused looking up to the man she'd known her whole life.

Piney hated this, for one he didn't want to bring her into this, but as she kept watching him, so he couldn't lie to her. "There was no beef with The Niners." He said as kindly as he could, "I don't know for sure, but I don't think it was all them to have them harass you the way they did."

"So you're saying I shouldn't trust Clay?" Her voice dropped, she moved closer to the bed feeling her stomach sinking.

Piney sighed, "Kelly, I don't think I can tell you anymore." He turned his head away from her; it was hard to see the look in her eyes.

Kelly moved from the chair, she sat on the bed taking Piney's hands, "You need someone," Kelly's voice filled with authority, "I can't just let you feel this way Piney, you've been like an uncle to me, and I just…"

"I can't Kelly," He looked her in the eye, "What is going on with the club, I can't pull you into it also."

"You can't be serious; Piney you need to tell me something, anything to make this shit go away!" Kelly tightened her grip on his hand, her eyes staring intensely into his.

Piney felt helpless, he knew this was not going to go away, "Then there is something you can do for me." He sat up in the bed, "Tara, she's got something I need."

"What do you mean?" Kelly loosened her grip on his hand, her eyes going back to the door before turning back to Piney.

Piney nodded, "She's got some letter, they're old letters by JT. I need to see those letters." He felt wrong doing this, but he couldn't not know what his friend was so scared about before he died, he knew Tara told him, but he needed to see for himself.

"I," Kelly bit her lip, "Do you know where they are?" She asked getting to her feet picking up her bag.

"I'd check her office," Piney's words quick, he wanted this over with, the sooner Kelly helped him, the quicker he could stop her involvement.

"Okay, I'll do that." Heading to the door she paused turning around, "I won't be too long." She gave a soft smile walking out the room.

Piney pushed the oxygen tube closer to his nose taking a quick intake of breath, this was wrong, he knew it, but it was the only way to get his hands on the letters to see for himself how bad Clay was.

* * *

><p>Kelly found it easy to slip into Tara's office, her eyes scanning around trying to think where to look. Stopping at her desk she placed her hands on it thinking, everything seemed more intense when she knew she was doing something wrong. Pulling at a cabinet she couldn't see anything that were letters, she exhaled looking to draws to her desk, she pulled again knowing they were locked.<p>

Every few seconds that went by made Kelly's heart pound, moving things on the desk, but stopped seeing a folder, she brought it to her eyes turning it over hearing something fall out. "Fuck yes!" She whispered the key fitting in the lock as she turned and it opened.

Inside was the letters, but she could see they were copies, her eyes going to the door as she pushed them inside, but her eye caught on something else. Picking up another folder, it was the same folder she saw Margret holding the other day, she flicked through seeing all the paperwork for transfer.

Kelly felt a rush of confusion reading over the sheets, her hand going to her chest, she wasn't leaving Jax, but it only meant that Jax was going to leave, but that even confused her more. Pushing that paper work into her bag she snuck out of the office, the quicker she got this done, the better.

Sneaking around wasn't something new for Kelly, this whole damn day felt like she was finding out more dark secrets, the office room was empty as she rushed to the copy machine, she started to make copies of everything.

"Can you tell me what you're doing in here?" Margret's voice made Kelly jumped turning around.

Kelly felt her throat tighten, "Tara!" She pointed, "I was fixing her car, and she wanted copies of receipts and stuff so she doesn't get caught out with things." Her shoulder shrug, "I mean, I'm just doing."

"You're not copying receipts," Margret stepped forward, "You going to tell me what you're doing?" Her tone was serious.

"I," Kelly felt the woman getting closer, "I'm planning Tara's bachelorette party!" She snapped out quickly, but relaxed when Margret stopped her advances on her. "I was going to be handing out fliers and stuff, but the copier at the auto shops busted and a repair man was taking forever."

"Oh," Margret nodded, "You know you could have just said that in the first place." She smiled, "But next time ask before you use hospital equipment."

"Yes, totally," Kelly held a hand up, "I better get these bad boys home…" She picked up all the copies hiding them in her bag, "You can't see until I've got everything ready." She rushed past Margret feeling her heart pounding hard against her ribs.

After putting everything back, Kelly felt better opening the door to Piney's room stepping in, she could see he was awake waiting for her.

"Did you get them?" He asked looking to her bag.

Kelly nodded, "Yes, I got them, and then I copied them." She took them out placing them on the bed, "I just need to ask one thing."

"Ask away," Piney picked a letter up from the pile starting to read it, he could see that among the letters were notes Tara had written, it was all true staring at him in black and white.

Kelly stood still, she watched him reading his face looking more upset by the second. "I want to ask about how a member can get out of the club?"

Piney froze, "You've not even been patched in and you're already asking about patching out." He watched her face, "Why you asking?"

"No reason, I'm just curious." Her hands went into her pockets seeing Piney put the letters down.

"It's not a thing members talk about, it's hard to get out of the club clean, a lot needs to happen for a patch out, and it's not a pleasant thing even." He picked a letter up, he started to read.

Kelly moved forward seeing tears in his eyes, "Piney, I'm sorry."

"Don't be darling," Piney put the letters together; "I need you to do one more thing for me." He said while pushing the letters away from him. "I need you to take these Letters and keep them somewhere safe." He nodded, "I need you to make sure that you tell no one you know of them."

"Piney I don't understand," Kelly looked to the letter as if they held something no one should know of.

Piney inhaled sharp, his hand holding the tube to his nose tight, "Kelly, I can trust you?" He watched her nod stepping forward. "I need you to keep these safe, you need to not tell anyone, but if something happens to me, anything." He tapped the letters, "I want you to give these to Opie." He nodded, "Can you do that?"

Kelly nodded, "Anything happens to you, give them to Opie." Kelly exhaled, "Piney," Her eyes starting to well up, "Nothing can happen to you, okay." She stepped forward wrapping her arms around him. "So don't say anything like that." She whispered into his ear kissing his cheek.

Piney sighed, he patted her back carefully, "If this goes right, everything should be fine, just do what I told you, and keep them safe."

"I'll keep them safe," Kelly stepped away picking the letters up placing them in her back, she turned away leaving the room. She didn't know what was going on, but all she did know was she was being trusted with something out of her depth.


	6. The pull

**AN:** Okay, second chapter in the day, but then I've had a very long day of feeling this story making me feel drained, but I do hope it's fun to read. I am pretty sure that I am going slightly mad. But I do hope you all enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong><strong><strong>Chapter six<strong>**  
><strong>___The pull___

* * *

><p>It had been a long day, and the day hadn't even finished yet. Juice walked into the apartment listening to the sound of music playing from the living room, he stood at the doorway seeing Kelly doing a work out. She was wearing shorts and a white string vest doing sit ups with her back to him. He didn't think she did that as he watch her for a while trying to keep a calm face, he couldn't believe the lies he was going to have to tell, but worse that he was going to be lying to Kelly.<p>

"You know you're ruining the illusion by watching me," Kelly said doing her final sit up turning to face Juice, he looked shocked by her as she laughed, "I can see your reflection in the TV." She pointed out getting to her feet.

Juice smiled, "What illusion would that be then?" He asked moving around the room sitting on the sofa.

Kelly turned the music off, "That I'm naturally this shape," Her face broke out in a smile, "I work hard to make people think I don't have to work hard." She sat down next to him, her eyes scanning over his face.

Juice knew he had to work hard to make her think everything was okay, "You don't need to worry," He brushed a hand against her cheek. "You're sexy as hell," He lent in kissing her.

"So anything good happen?" Kelly asked brushing a hand against his head, her eyes focused on his.

Juice sighed, "Not much to tell," He felt her eyes staring, so he reached into his pocket taking the money out from the run, "Got an idea how you're gonna help me spend this?" He watched her take the money from him; he knew this had to get her mind off of everything.

"So this is what drug money looks like," Kelly turned it over in her hands, "Funny, I thought it'll look dirtier." She put it back into his lap standing up.

"Kelly!" Juice placed the money on the sofa standing up; he placed his hands to her shoulders stopping her leaving. "Why do you keep pushing that?"

"Because I'm not an idiot, I don't know why you keep lying to my face." Her hands kept by her sides, she felt the full power of his eyes on her, "I love you, so you lying to me right now hurts." She bit her lip, "If you had any respect for me, you'd cut the bullshit and tell me the truth."

Juice rubbed her shoulder, "Okay, okay!" He felt his hands moving to touch hers, he felt her hesitate before holding his hands. "We're running coke for the Cartel, and no one is meant to know about it." He exhaled closing his eyes.

"I need to know, please tell me you didn't vote in favour of it." Her eyes were searching; Juice could tell she was having trouble dealing with it.

Juice shook his head, "No, I voted against it, but it was five against six, so it went through," He turned picking the money up. "I couldn't just throw this in Clay's face."

"No," Kelly took the money off him, she felt wrong just holding it, "But I guess we could use a new décor." Her eyes were looking up to Juice.

Feeling Relaxed he laughed, "And why is that?"

"Because this place looks more like a guy's apartment, and I would like to have some say in where I'm living." Kelly explained.

"So you see you living here long term?" He asked.

Kelly placed the money down again, "Yes, I do see this as a long term thing. I want it to look like I live here too." Her hand let go of his, she stoked his face smiling softly. "I want pictures up; I want it to be known that two sexy ass people live here."

"How about family pictures?" He asked. He felt her hand letting go of his face.

"I don't have many, only the one of my dad." Kelly watched as Juice walked into the spare room.

He picked up the frame Kelly had with her father in, he looked over the man's face with better details, "Kelly what is your dad?" He walked over to her holding the picture.

For a second Kelly looked at the photo, "He's part Lebanese, why?"

Juice looked at the photo again, "So you're part Lebanese?" He asked not sure where he was going with this just yet.

"I'm a little bit, but not enough to notice, why?" Kelly felt odd, but some reason she had a feeling he was getting to something. "I mean, you never talk about your dad, is he Porto Rican too?"

Juice froze; he then put the photo frame down, "I don't know. I've never met the guy." He snapped with a hostile tone. "Would it matter if he was anything but Hispanic or white?" He added trying to calm his voice down.

Kelly took a step back feeling confused, "I don't know. What do you mean anything else?" Kelly was listening to Juice's phone ringing.

"I gotta get that," He took another step back taking his phone out, "Hello." He walked away from Kelly talking about club business.

Looking to the money again and then the photo frame, Kelly bit her lip; she had this bad feeling, but smiled again seeing Juice walk back. "What's going on?"

"Going to deal with retaliation for Luann," He said brushing a hand against his cheek, "I'm going to Lyla's set to get some information." He paused seeing a confused look on her face. "Shit you don't know."

"Know what?" Kelly didn't know anything, but Luann was a nice woman, she used to give Kelly make up when Kelly was too young the really know what make up was.

Juice sighed, "Shit," He could tell she didn't like the tone of his voice, "Georgie Caruso ran a company that rivalled Cara Cara, shit kept happening with them, but he is the reason Luann got killed." He watched as Kelly's face fell, he felt horrible for saying it.

"How did it happen?" Her hands shaking by her sides, she felt like her stomach had knotted up.

Juice pulled her into his arms, but she pushed him away. He knew she didn't want comfort, but answers. "She was beaten to death."

Kelly nodded, "I'm coming." She walked out of the room heading for the bedroom; she quickly took her shorts off putting her jeans on feeling Juice behind her.

Juice watched as Kelly pulled a T-shirt on, "Kelly I don't…"

"No, I'm coming and you have no say in it." She pulled her prospect cut on, her eyes glaring at Juice, "I mean it."

He exhaled running his hands over his head, "Okay," He watched her taking his hand. He knew this wasn't a good idea, but he didn't want to argue with Kelly as they left the apartment together.

* * *

><p>Juice felt worried pulling up to the studio with Kelly on the back of his bike, he watch as Jax walked over to them. "Hey," Juice said seeing Jax staring at Kelly.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Jax watched Kelly getting off the back of the bike heading towards the studio, Jax's hand stopping her. "Kelly, I'm talking to you!"

"Yeah, funny how that is," Pulling her arm away from Jax she glared as she took her helmet off, "No one cared to tell me Luann was dead!" Her voice hissed.

Juice could feel Jax eyes going on him, he got off the bike, "I tried to stop her, but she didn't listen." He exhaled.

"You gotta learn how to handle her," Jax snapped, he didn't mean to sound harsh as he rushed after Kelly. He stopped her walking again, but this time his grip on her arm was tighter, "Go home!"

"No!" Kelly's eyes met Jax, both of them not backing down. "Luann looked after me, she never was that great at babysitting me, but she was a nice woman." She pulled her arm free again, "So you can tell me to go home until your blue in the face, but I'm still staying here."

"Shit!" Jax couldn't believe it, "Fine, you watch, but you don't do anything. You understand?" He took a step forward.

Nodding her head Kelly now catching sight of Chibs, "What are you doing here lass?" He asked giving her a quick hug.

"I wanted to check out a future career option," she joked looking to the girls getting ready to film a scene. "Think I'll make a good porn star?" She watched Jax, Bobby and Opie going into the dressing room.

Chibs gave Kelly a funny look, "I don't think Juicy boy would want his lovely lady shooting porn." His eyes went over to Juice wrapping his arm around Kelly's waist.

"Well it's a good thing my career choices are not his to make," Her face lighting up looking to the girls in tight skimpy clothes. "Plus I'm not much into the carpet munching." Her eyes followed a girl wearing an orange tight dress that was the porno version of a prison uniform. Her head tilted to the left watching her walk by.

"No, not at all…" Chibs laughed at her.

Juice's eyes went to Chibs, "Not funny," He turned to Kelly who was still looking, "Are you sure on that?"

Kelly snapped out of it, "No, I mean Yes." She covered her eyes for a second, "I don't think I'll fit in here anyway." She ran her hands down her stomach standing to her full height.

Dondo smiled walking over to them, "I couldn't help but over hear," He gave Kelly a good looking over, "I'm Dondo, and I think you'd fit in here nicely." He flashed a million dollar smile.

"She's not interested," Juice snapped holding his hand around Kelly tighter.

Kelly rolled her eyes; she smiled to Dondo, "I was playing about," She side glanced to Juice, "My boyfriend is scared I'll end up getting more pussy than he can."

Chibs laughed, but turned to see Jax and Bobby walking out of the dressing room with Lyla. Jax standing in front of Kelly, "You remember what I said?"

"I know. No involvement." She smiled to Lyla, "Your boss here was offering me a job."

"She's not interested," Jax turned to Dondo; he had a serious face as he knew this wasn't about getting him new talent.

Kelly grunted, "Seriously, are you all that dense to think I'd want to work in porn?" She pushed away from Juice heading to the dressing room, "Shit! you think I was a child."

Opening the door to the dressing room Kelly watched as Opie's arm smacked into the vanity table smashing things off, "Okay…" She said looking him over, "I guess I came to the wrong room."

Opie's eyes looked up to see Kelly, he ran his hand into his hair, "I'm just going through some shit," He watched as she sat down in a chair opposite to him.

"You know we've not really spoken since I've gotten back," Kelly tried to think of something, but she could see by his face that he wasn't in a good mood. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No," He went to stand up, but Kelly stood up blocking his path, "Kelly, I'm not in the mood for this." He took a step to the left, but she mirrored him.

"I'm not letting you out this room until you tell me what brought on the Hulk rage," Her arms folded looking up to his face. "Now!"

Opie rolled his eyes, "If you were smart you'd get out my way Kelly!" He hissed, he didn't want to be pissed off, and he didn't want to take it out on her.

Kelly held her hands out, "I would Ope, but you are clearly having an issue with something." Her voice was commanding, and she knew that it wasn't helping Opie's mood. "You want to be a giant dick, fine, but you know that you've got way too much anger to be bottling it up."

Opie felt his nostrils flare, he reached down grabbing Kelly's arms moving her out of his way, he headed to the door, and before opening it he turned to see Kelly's face. "Right now it's my problem, so keep out of it Kelly!" He opened the door slamming it behind him.

Kelly sat down; she turned to look at her reflection before taking a smoke from her pocket lighting up, "Dick!" She muttered before inhaling the smoke.

* * *

><p>Kelly didn't leave the dressing room when the gun went off, it was weird to listen to the sound of silence after the noise, but silence being broke by the sounds of a man screaming.<p>

Getting to her feet Kelly walked out of the dressing room, her first sight was Ima sitting with Opie, "Hello super whore," Kelly waved, but could see Opie's face glaring at her, "Giant dick!" Her voice hissed as she walked passed them heading in the direction of the man's screams as he was tied down.

"Kelly," Jax looked relieved to see her, but could tell she was staring at Georgie, "You alright?"

"No," Kelly finally looked at Jax, "That bitch is here." Her voice dropped seeing that Juice was only a few feet from her.

Jax took a deep breath; he turned to see that Juice was staring at his phone, "Don't be paranoid." He said while touching her shoulder.

"I'm not; just her being near me makes my skin crawl, like millions of bugs are crawling under it." She laughed, "I'm not going to repeat myself, I think she got the hint I don't like her."

Chibs walked over to Juice, "Problems?" He asked as Juice turned to face him.

"Yeah a little problem at clear passages," He put on the best fake smile he could think of, his eyes going over to Kelly talking to Jax.

Chibs eyes following his, "Smokers or shitters?"

"Both," He exhaled trying to keep a cool head.

Chibs inhaled and took a quick look around himself, "Go." He gave Juice a small smile, but notice Kelly coming over.

"Thanks man," Juice tapped Chibs shoulder but stop to see Kelly standing in his way. "Clear passage needs me." He kept his tone even; he knew that Kelly was starting to know his tells.

"I'll come with," Kelly started to follow.

Juice stopped walking; he placed a hand on Kelly's shoulder, "I rather you don't." He moved his hand brushing it against her cheek, "I know the place grosses you out."

"But not as much as being around her," Kelly's eyes went in the direction of where Ima was. "I can't stay here without feeling the need to hit her." Her eyes were searching his. "Please…"

"Kelly, I really don't want you to come." He held her back, "So can you just stay here." His tone dropped as he felt Chibs staring at him. "Please."

"Fine, but tonight you owe me big time," She pointed her finger in his face. Juice smiled, it hurt for him to keep putting this mask on, but took her finger in his hand pulling her towards him kissing her deeply, he didn't care that the others were now staring.

"Put her down lad," Chibs said as he walked over, her watched Juice letting her go resentfully. "You'll have all the time to do what you want when you get home." He laughed seeing the disappointment in Juice's eyes.

Kelly smiled, "I'll see you tonight," She quickly kissed him again; he felt her hand moving over his ass giving it a squeeze.

"Yes you will," He ran a hand into her hair, he didn't want to go. If he could he'd take her home right now, but he knew Roosevelt could drop the bomb on his secret, so he turned walking away.

* * *

><p>Kelly kept looking over Georgie, she watched as Clay walked into the room. "Georgie we've missed you." Clay smiled walking towards the mine tied up.<p>

Jax sitting on a chair glanced up with a sour face, "He ain't giving it up on Luann." He flicked his fingers out.

"Jesus Christ Clay could you try talking sense into these psychos!" Georgie said as the gag came off.

"Hey these are my rational guys. I get Happy down here; it'll put ballgame on a whole new meaning…" He stopped seeing Kelly and she knew he wasn't happy. "What is she doing here?" He pointed at Kelly.

"She came; she wants to see the man who got Luann killed punished." Jax said looking at Kelly sitting with Tig, he didn't really think of it, but while waiting for Clay, it hit him why Kelly needed to see this.

"I didn't kill Luann," Georgie cut in looking up to Clay standing right in front of him.

Clay's face looking down to him, "Yes you did."

Jax got up from the chair, "Let's do this." He rushed behind Georgie ready to strangle him, the other guys getting ready to help if needed.

"Wait I got money, I got millions!" Georgie was screaming in his defence, his eyes turning to see Kelly standing beside him with a murderous glare in her eyes. "I got millions Clay, anything you want! Anything!"

"Well I guess your sex dolls are selling like sex dolls," Clay laughed seeing Georgie struggle to keep himself from being killed.

"Dream dolls, I have Asian backing," Georgie felt like he was making a breakthrough, "Billionaire sex freaks, I'm serious!" He shouted trying to keep himself alive.

Kelly took a step back feeling her eyes turning to Bobby who had an itchy trigger finger, but she felt like she needed to hit him, she went to make an advance but Tig hand touched her shoulder holding her back.

"I got this," Bobby's gun pointing at Georgie's temple, and Kelly was starting to smirk, she didn't like this side to herself, but it was like a virus eating at her sanity.

"Hold it," Clay's voice made Kelly's head turn quickly, her eyes staring at him in confusion. "These Asians, are they looking for any other investors?"

Georgie looked serious, "All the time." He said while Clay was holding Bobby off of him. It was like he had completely lost his mind.

"Is he telling the truth?" Clay turned to Dondo, Dondo standing behind Clay.

It was weird for Kelly to witness as she started to back away from the group. She could only watch as they were talking, it was the kind of talk that didn't seem to involve punishing him for beating Luann to death. An old lady of a Club member was beaten to death, and Clay was letting him walk free.

Jax walked up to Dondo when he asked what was going on, "Hold on to that big dick of yours, we'll keep you posted." His eyes went to Kelly as she ran off out of the building. "Shit!" he broke into a run going after her.

Kelly sat down on an old sound system, her hands brushing her hair back looking to the world around her. "Kelly…" Jax said touching her shoulder, but felt her shrug it off. "Kelly its business…"

"Yeah, and if it wasn't a rival MC that took me, if it was something the club could profit off…" Her voice was straining to speak, "You'd just forget that I was beaten and raped."

"Kelly no!" Jax's voice shouted. He couldn't believe her as she kept staring forward. "I'd never choose money over your safety."

"Well you're choosing it over Otto's wife, the woman he loved was beaten till she died, that could have been me Jax, and when that happened to me, you let Juice kill the man." She jumped off the sound system, Jax could see the pain in her eyes, "I know what it feels like to be beaten like that, and I think if it was Tara or Gemma…" She waved her hands, "Who cares, cos the end of the day this club isn't what I thought it was, it's about greed and power…" She pulled at her hair starting to walk away.

Jax felt his hands clench, he knew she was right, but worst was watching her walking away thinking he was part of the problem.

* * *

><p>Walking into the apartment Kelly inhaled, she looked around to see that Juice hadn't come home yet. She felt like her skin was slick from sweat, kicking off her shoes; she pulled her T-shirt off taking the vest off with it. Getting out of her jeans on the way to the bathroom she turned the shower on.<p>

Kelly stepped in feeling the relief of the water washing over her skin; it was hard for her to really enjoy the shower keeping an ear out for the door. She felt disappointed as she got out the shower wrapping a towel around herself.

Walking into the kitchen she started to make herself a herbal tea, reaching for her phone she couldn't see any messages, but she wasn't going to call just yet. Taking her tea into the living room she sat on the sofa watching the hall hoping Juice would walk through the front door.

The time had moved, Kelly had gotten dress into her night shirt, she pulled her hair into braids, but everything she could do to pass the time wasn't helping, picking up her cell phone she dialled Juice's number,_ "This is Juice, I can't take your call, so leave a message." _Kelly bit her lip listening to the beep. "Juan, where are you?" She exhaled, "I waited, but you're not here, so I'm going to bed. If you listen to this before coming home, please don't wake me." She hung up the phone feeling her stomach sinking again. "Fuck!" She threw her phone away from her pulling her knees up to her chest bury her face in them, she felt like everything was getting worse, she got to her feet walking over to a book shelf, she touched some book pulling them out, inside were the letters she was hiding for Piney, she touched them before putting them back.

Kelly walked through the apartment turning lights off, she got to the bed looking how big it was, she crawled in, but for a second placing her head near Juice's pillow, it smelt like him as she inhaled closing her eyes trying to fall to sleep.


	7. Foolish

**AN:**Mother of God!  
>I could knock myself over with a feather... This is a mighty long chapter fro me, but it's around my favourite episode.<br>Damn I am going to be hoping you love this, cos hell I love the episode with an X

* * *

><p><strong><strong><strong><strong>Chapter seven<strong>****  
><strong>____Foolish____

* * *

><p>Kelly pulled into the gates of the club house; she knew that Juice didn't come home. So she was hoping that he crashed here. Getting her helmet off, she could see the licence plate of a car she knew too well. "Shit!" She put her helmet back on, she couldn't see Juice's bike among others, so she knew they'd be at the warehouse.<p>

Kelly had never ridden her bike this fast; she knew that her wrist was still weak from its break, but she didn't care pulling up to the warehouse as a shot went off. Getting off her bike she pulled her helmet off making a fast pace walk to the door pulling it open, she stepped in seeing George and Phil looking worried. "What's going on?"

"Something bad," George looked over Kelly, "You okay?" He asked seeing her face was pulled in an angry frown.

Phil avoided staring at Kelly, but he knew she must be upset about something. "You…"

"No I am not okay!" She snapped, but exhaled as both men took a step away from her, she looked to the door opening as the guys were stepping out with Juice and Tig being the last to leave the room.

Juice could see the anger all over Kelly's face; it only dawned on him then and there that he'd promised to be home that night, "You!" She growled making a run for Juice.

Chibs caught Kelly just before she charged at Juice; he grabbed her around the waist holding her back. Juice took a step back feeling worse about everything.

"Woah Darling!" Tig stood in front of her, he could tell she was struggling against Chibs's arms. "What's gotten your panties in a bunch?" He asked turning to Juice.

Chibs pulled Kelly closer to his chest, he wrapped his arms around her tighter, "Easy Lass…" He tried to calm her, "What's wrong?"

"I've no idea…" Juice felt panicked, he knew the guys were aware he wasn't at the club house, so he couldn't have them know he wasn't home either. "Can we talk about this alone Kelly?" He felt helpless, but he could tell by her face she was calming down.

"Let her go," Opie said, he could tell by the way Kelly's eyes shot at him she still wasn't happy with the way he treated her the other day. "Chibs," He said watching the man finally let Kelly go. She dropped her arms, "You two deal with your shit. We've got other stuff to deal with."

"Fine," Kelly turned around heading out of the warehouse, she kicked something on the way out catching every ones attention.

Tig looked to Juice, "You've must have done something wrong to piss her off that bad." He tapped his hand on Juice's chest. "Go cool her off; we've got a lot to deal with." He watched Juice walking outside.

Juice stepped out into the sun, he could tell Kelly was pissed because she was holding her wrist close to her chest, "What the hell did you do?" He rushed over trying to look at her hand.

"Fuck off!" Kelly snapped, she took a step back, "Going back on old habits." She laughed, "You think they say once a cheat always a cheat was harsh. You took the fucking cake."

"What are you talking about, I never…" He paused, "What makes you think I cheated?" He tried to get close to her again.

Kelly backed away, "That whore's car is at the club house, that bitch is at the club house." Her hand still holding her wrist, it felt like it was on fire, but that is what you get when you punch a tree.

Feeling frozen on the spot Juice felt sick, "I've not spoken to her, or had anything to do with her since." He stopped, "I told you I'd never do that shit again, so if she was at the club house, it wasn't with me." He pointed out.

"She wasn't with you, then where the fuck was you last night?" She finally stepped towards him, Kelly bit her lip feeling scared. "Why didn't you come home?"

"I had a lot at the weed shop, and I just…" He could feel her guard dropping as he held a hand, "Can you at least tell me what you did to your hand?" He watched her placing her hand in his.

Her eyes watching his hand touching her wrist she hissed, Kelly bit her lip harder, "I punched a god damn tree."

"You punched a tree," Juice laughed, "Well it's better than busting my bike," He moved her hand feeling her wince again. "I'm sorry Kelly, but you should know by now." He pulled her close holding her against his chest, "I'd never cheat on you like that again." He brushed his hand down her hair.

"You two not beating the crap out of each other," Chibs stepped out looking to Kelly in Juice's arms. "So what did he do to piss you off so much?"

Kelly opened her mouth, but felt it closed as Juice cut in, "I left her this morning; I kinda thought I was needed here, and I didn't tell her I was rushing off." He could tell Kelly was confused.

Chibs felt his eyes going to Kelly's face, "You rushed all the way up here because you woke up alone?" Chibs didn't understand, he knew that Kelly wasn't the type to rush up just to make a go over something so little as waking up alone.

"He left the hob on, nearly killed me…" Kelly added in, "I told him to be more careful in the kitchen." She gasped feeling her move her wrist wrong.

Chibs quickly stepped forward, "What's wrong," He looked to Juice worried.

"She thought a tree needed to be punished," Juice chimed in, he watched as Chibs took a look at her wrist. "You think she might have re broken it?"

"I don't think so, best have the doc take a look at it," He looked up seeing Happy pulling up in on his bike, "But now we've got shit to deal with." He's attention to Kelly, "You'll be alright riding home?"

"Yeah, I'll take it slow," Kelly looked up to Juice seeing a panic in his eyes, "I'll see you later?" She asked watching him holding her face in his hands.

Giving her a kiss Juice felt her relax more, "Be safe," He whispered kissing her once more. "We need to talk," He added letting her go.

"Okay." Kelly nodded, "I love you…" She whispered picking her helmet up from where she threw it.

Juice watched as Kelly got onto her bike riding away, he turned to look at Chibs, "I made something to eat. I thought I turned the gas off." He started to walk back to the warehouse.

"Good thing she didn't have her morning ciggy son." Chibs patted his shoulder walking with him into the warehouse.

Juice laughed nervously, "Yeah, good thing." He followed looking back outside feeling sick.

* * *

><p>Tara pulled into the club house as Kelly was getting off her bike, she see the girl holding her wrist making her way over to the car. "Hey you okay?" Tara asked looking over Kelly's hand.<p>

"I got into a fight with a tree, and the tree won." Kelly laughed, "I don't think it's broken, but it stings like a bitch!"

Tara exhaled getting Thomas out of the car, "Well punching a tree a few months after it being broken isn't smart," She watched as Kelly smiled, "But if you want I can take a look at it after my staff meeting."

"Cool, can we do it here; I mean if it's not broken then it's just a matter of…" Kelly turned to see Gemma walking out of the office, "Hi Gemma."

"What you done to yourself now?" Gemma glanced to Kelly's swollen looking hand.

Tara passed Thomas to Gemma with a smile, "She punched a tree, but it's not broken, just sprained so I'll being something back from the hospital for it."

Kelly nodded, "Thanks Tara," She now glanced to the car still parked. "Gemma you mind me hanging out in the office for a bit?" She watched as Gemma took Thomas off of Tara.

"Sure baby," Gemma felt in a good mood holding her grandson.

"Elyda took Abel with her for a Target run, and I'll pick Thomas up after my staff meeting." Tara said starting to walk to her to her car.

"How is Elyda working out?" Gemma asked watching Thomas playing with something in his hands.

"She's good," Tara kept in sync with Gemma and Kelly, "Abel likes her, she's teaching him Spanish."

"Better keep her away from Tig," Gemma said standing beside Tara's car.

Kelly laughed, "I'd say keep Tig away from most females of importance," She shrugged, "But then he's got a charm about him." Kelly watched as both Gemma and Tara turned to face her with equally crept out faces, "What I think he grows on ya…" Kelly now was seeing the cab pull up.

"Oh Christ," Gemma looked at Dawn sitting in the back of the cab smiling at her.

Tara's attention turned to the cab, she looked confused. "Who's that?" She said as Gemma was passing Thomas back to her.

"Half of Saintan's spawn…" Gemma whispered close to Tara, but her eyes going to Kelly, "Play nice." Her words were a low warning.

"If she plays nicer…" Kelly looked to the confusion on Tara's face, "Last time me and her crossed paths we busted each other open." Her face broke into a big smile.

"Momma Gemma," Dawn said getting out of the cab looking sickly sweet, but Dawn quickly glanced to Kelly, "And Kel."

Kelly rolled her eyes making a gagging face. "Hey Baby," Gemma gave Dawn a half hug, but her eyes glanced to Kelly still pulling a sour face, "Your daddy's not here Dawnie."

"It's Margo now with a x," She looked smug, but then she kept glancing to Kelly folding her arms looking pissed off. "He doesn't know I'm coming," She turned as the cab driver got their attention. "Sorry, you spare a twenty?"

Kelly rolled her eyes as Gemma finished into her pocket handing over the money, "Dawn's here." She said watching Kelly pulling a dirty face, "I mean it Kelly!"

"I'm going into the club house; I really am not having a good morning!" She gave Thomas a kiss on the forehead, "By little man." She watched him smiling at her.

"Put some ice on that wrist to take down the swelling," Tara pointed out as Dawn paid the cab driver.

Walking into the club house Kelly looked to Piney at the bar, "Really?" She asked looking to the Tequila; she picked up the shot glass knocking it back walking behind the bar.

"What's gotten into you?" He asked watching her getting a cloth with some ice; he studied over her face, "You did what I asked you?"

"Yes," She said bluntly looking around the bar getting another shot glass pouring another out, she knocked it back. "Also Dawn's here."

"Oh shit," He poured himself a drink, "You didn't hit her already?" He asked watching her sit with him holding the ice to her wrist.

Kelly snorted out a laugh, "I wish. This bad boy right here is Juice being a dick." Her eyes going to the door seeing Gemma was walking in with Dawn behind her, and then Chucky holding Dawn's bag. "I need that," She took another shot feeling light headed.

"Your dad's on the way, if you need anything just ask happy hands," Gemma said to Dawn after coming off the phone.

Dawn wrapped her arms around Gemma thanking her, her eyes going to Kelly, "What you staring at?"

"Your retarded dye job," Kelly snapped back, both girls locking into a death stare.

Gemma took a step away, "right," Her eyes going to Piney with the drink, and then Kelly. "It's nine am."

"Yes it is," Piney smiled ignoring the tone of her voice. "Kelly is drinking with me," He turned around to face her.

Kelly shrugged, "I am taking for medical reasons." She smiled holding the shot glass up knocking it back.

Tara walked in, "Okay I'm running late," She paused feeling her eyes go wide, her hands turning into fists seeing the woman she hated walking from the bedroom area.

"Good morning," Ima was wearing shorts and a fancy top; she wasn't wearing any shoes as she stood in front of everyone twirling her hair.

Kelly felt her hand gripping the bar, her eyes glaring at the woman just wanting to give her another beating, but Tara's voice snapped her attention. "What are you doing here?"

"I'd like to know!" Kelly felt her wrist go sore as she clenched it. "So what brings Slutzilla here?"

Ima looked from Tara to Kelly, two women who's boyfriend she'd slept with, two women who if had the chance would beat her, Kelly on the other hand would be the second time beating her. "I'm a guest." She said in a smug tone.

Tara's body felt tense, she was doing everything she could to not hit the woman, "Who's?" She took a step forward, and she could tell Kelly was watching Ima like a hawk.

"I don't feel like it's any of your business," Ima felt like she shouldn't be saying the things she was, but kept still.

Gemma turned around looking serious, "You should make it our business, who invited you?" She made an advance on Ima, Kelly now stepping up from the bar to join her aunt and Tara.

Ima took a small step back, "I was invited." She placed a hand on her hips, three women, one of her, but she wasn't going to be intimidated.

"Invitations over!" Tara stepped forward; she knew Kelly was by her side.

Gemma moved in front, "Now would be a good time to get your shit, and get out," Her voice sounded queen bitch; she knew Kelly was standing behind her with Tara, she could see Ima's eyes going from Kelly then sticking on Tara. "Bitch, she will rip your little titties off."

Ima looked smug still, but turned around walking away from them, Kelly felt her eyes glaring at her back wondering if it wasn't Juice who in hell would invite her in the club.

Kelly turned around just as Tara stormed out with Gemma behind her, but was faced with Dawn. "What did that bitch do to you?" Her voice was annoying to Kelly's ears.

"She fucked my boyfriend, and by the looks of it Jax too…" She folded her arms, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Fawn, she's bad…" She pouted her lips out; she kept looking up to Kelly.

Without batting an eyelid Kelly rolled her eyes, "Bullshit!" She went to walk away, but felt Dawn's hand on her arm. "What!"

"Are we always going to be like this?" Dawn asked, she kept watching Kelly, the two girls meet once, and that once was when Kelly spent the summer here when she was sixteen, both girls fought over the same pool boy.

Kelly exhaled, "I think the fact you call me a two dime whore, and that I was a dirty Mexican." She shrugged her shoulders, "Last time I checked, I don't forgive so quickly."

"But you are a little Mexican?" Dawn asked looking over Kelly's face.

Kelly laughed, "I am not part Mexican, you dumb shit, with a bad hair do and your ink is so stupid!"

"Where is she?" Lyla said walking into the club house breaking Kelly and Dawn apart. Her eyes going around, she felt sick to her stomach.

Piney glanced up from holding Thomas, "Where's who Darling?" He didn't know what was going on.

But Kelly had an idea turning her head with Dawn to see Ima walking out with her stuff, "Rain check?" Dawn asked Kelly.

"Check," Kelly replied looking from Ima to Lyla, and it hit her who invited Ima to the club house, "Seriously!"

"What are you doing here?" Lyla snapped at the woman she thought was her friend, she felt like something was slowly pulling her insides out, but her eyes went to Kelly with a girl watching Ima.

"Nobody says good morning anymore," Ima kept walking, she worked with Lyla, but she was never really her friend anymore, not when she took the side of Kelly over her.

Lyla watched Ima, "You spend the night?"

Ima smirked, "You don't wanna know sweetie." She kept watching Lyla, her face lighting up enjoying the moment.

"You back stabbing," Lyla took a step hesitating, "Gash." Her voice shaking, it was easy to tell that she was no having a good morning either.

"Hey I was just following his lead," Ima kept giving Lyla dirty looks, "Married pussy's, is boring pussy." Her eyes were looking up and down Lyla.

Kelly jumped forward; Dawn jumped a side to let Kelly through, but stopped seeing Tig and Bobby walking into the club house with Gemma and Tara behind them. Seeing Lyla raise her fist, she jumped back as Ima pulled a gun from her purse. "Take one more step and I will blow a hole in that pretty little yamies of your."

Kelly took a step back standing beside Dawn, both girls looking to the gun; they could see Piney pulling Thomas behind him, everyone looking to the gun in Ima's hand. "Shit!" Kelly said feeling her eyes going to Tig stepping in front of her and Dawn.

"Just tell me why?" Lyla looked upset, but her eyes never left the gun pointed at her face.

Ima shrugged, "You shouldn't be asking me, but the cock that was inside me last night." She smirked.

"Okay out!" Tig pointed to the door.

Tara now glaring, "Better keep that thirty eight close bitch, you're gonna need it!" Tara said as Ima left.

"Daddy!" Dawn said pulling Tig into a hug. He smiled holding her close to him, but Dawn kept him close.

Kelly looked to Gemma talking to Bobby, "I'm gonna go," She pointed to the door, "I'll see you later tonight." Her hand was touching Gemma's shoulder.

"Okay, be safe," Gemma watched as Kelly walked out of the club house, she exhaled turning to look at Tara.

Kelly got to the parking lot where she was greeted by Ima; she paused in her tracks, "Guess we meet again."

"Guess you're making a tally on how many of the MC you can fuck before getting another broken nose." She leant forward placing her hand on the gun moving it out the way. "I guess I'm the reason for your new accessory?"

"I will blow your head open, but I won't. Mainly cos I heard you had the crap beaten out of you, too bad you didn't die." Ima gave Kelly a dark smile.

"Get the fuck away from me, stay the hell away from my family." Kelly stepped forward ignoring the gun, "Now!"

Ima laughed, "Well I better go, and I'm needed on set…" She put the gun back into the purse heading to her car.

Kelly exhaled heading to her bike, it had to be better at the warehouse than it was here.

* * *

><p>Chibs was standing outside the warehouse when he saw Kelly's bike approaching, he sighed seeing her stop beside him. "What are you doing here again?" He asked looking her over.<p>

Kelly bit her lip, "I've been driving around, needed to clear my head." She got off the bike taking her helmet off, "Hap let me through," She looked up to Chibs watching him put out a smoke. "What's going on?" She asked, "I thought it couldn't be worse than that Ima bitch pulling a gun on everyone."

"Darling, I don't think you want to know," Chibs rested a hand on her shoulder; he could tell she was still shaken up, "So this morning with Juice?"

Kelly smiled, "Must be my time of the month," She watched Chibs cringe, "Yeah, too much information. Where's is Juan?" She asked softly.

Chibs glanced around, "He went to take a leak," He could tell Kelly was following his eyes. "I've no idea where."

"Don't worry, I think I can find him," Kelly tapped Chibs arm walking away from him. Chibs watching her walking towards the wood area, he let out a long breath looking around the empty land.

Kelly had her hands in her pocket as she walked, she kept thinking of Ima and Opie, she thought Opie had more taste than that, but it was just her luck that she had to see that woman twice in one week.

In her own head Kelly was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a gun go off, she rushed to the sound when she saw Juice and Miles, it seemed like they were fighting as Miles pulled a knife, but Kelly's eyes went huge as Juice pulled a gun shooting Miles in the face, the man going down as Kelly let out a scream.

Juice heard Kelly, his eyes looking up to her feeling Miles's blood on his face, he couldn't know how long she had been standing there, but she turned away from him, he could hear the sound of her vomiting. He had to use this time wisely, the pain in his leg was unbearable, but he grabbed the brick quickly placing it inside Miles's cut.

Kelly stood up seeing Chibs rushing over to her, "What's the…" He slowly looked over to Juice on the ground in pain. "Jesus Christ!"

Happy rushed over to Juice with Chibs, he stood and looked at the body trying to work out, but his eyes going to Kelly, "You see what happened?"

Juice grunted as Chibs was pulling him to his feet, his eyes staring at Miles, but looked back up to see Kelly looking pale, "I came out here to take a piss, and I see him take something out of the bushes, he freaked and tried to kill me." His eyes were going to Kelly again as she stood back from it all. "You saw it didn't you Kelly?"

"Is that what you saw Lass?" Chibs asked seeing her looking lost, "Kelly!" He shouted making her eyes stop staring at Miles's body.

Kelly felt her throat tighten, her heart felt like it was going to explode, "I caught the, I saw." She felt her hands shaking, "I see."

Juice didn't like this, he didn't know what Kelly saw, it all happened so fast, for all he knew she could have seen the whole thing, she might know that he was the one with the blow. "Kelly, just tell them you saw him try and kill me."

Happy stared at Kelly's face, he picked his gun out of his pocket, and Kelly held her hands up, "I saw it!" She blurted out, "I saw him with the coke, and I saw him going to Kill Juan, but they didn't know I was here." Her voice rough as Happy know shot into Miles's dead body.

"Lying bitch!" He now helped Chibs with Juice; he could see that Kelly had gone three shades lighter; he lightly tapped he shoulder making her walk away as Clay, Jax and Opie pulled up.

"What the hell happened here?" Clay snapped walking over to see Chibs and Happy holding Juice, his eyes then to Kelly looking like she was going to be sick.

Opie rushed to Kelly, for a second he couldn't hear anything else, but he touched her face, "Kelly, are you okay?" He asked, but Kelly pushed him away. "You know?"

"Yes I know about you and super slut!" Kelly hissed, but she felt Clay pulling her to one side, "I…"

Clay brushed her hair from her face, "I just need to know what you saw?" He asked. He knew she was in shock, but he couldn't afford shock, he needed answers.

Kelly swallowed, she could see Chibs still holding Juice, and he looked in serious pain, but his eyes never left her face. "I was looking for Juan, I needed to vent because of Ima at the club," Her voice still shaky, but she took some deep breathes, "I heard Miles shot Juan, and He must of, I don't know it was so quick, cos Miles was going to stab Juan, then…"

"I get the picture," He touched her face, and he kissed her forehead. Now getting back to business he glared to Opie and Jax, "I should shot you for patching him in," He glanced around giving out command.

Kelly felt Jax hand on her shoulder, "You go with Juice, make sure he gets patched up, Tara will meet you to fix his leg." He hugged her lightly.

Biting her lip Kelly studied over Jax, "Ima, She needs to be sorted, I can't deal with her in the club house, or anywhere near me." Her eyes focused on Jax, she couldn't believe everything that happened today. "You fix this."

"I will, you just take care of Juice," He left Kelly heading into the warehouse with Clay.

Kelly was now quickly jumping into the van; she sat close to Juice, her hands holding onto him burying her head into his chest.

Juice felt like crap, he was being praised a hero, he had Kelly crying into his cut, but all he felt like was scum, he brushed his hand into Kelly's hair trying to think of anything to say but the words wouldn't come.

* * *

><p>Juice was lying on Jax's kitchen table; he could see Chibs watching as Tara was dealing with his gun shot. The look on Chibs face made Juice feel worse about what he'd done, but as he glanced up to see Kelly entering the kitchen with cloths he couldn't stop staring at her. "You didn't need to see this." Juice muttered putting his hands over his face.<p>

Kelly knew Juice was feeling like crap, she picked up the bowl of warm water, she pulled a chair sitting in front of him with the bowl on her lap, she started to soak the cloths looking at him, "But I am here for you, like you was for me." She started to ring a cloth out, Kelly didn't like seeing Juice like this as she started to clean him up, and her eyes fixed on his. "I'm sorry I blew up on you this morning." She brushed the cloth over his face.

"Don't," He felt the warm water on his face, he couldn't believe this was happening, but he caught Chibs still watching with a puzzled expression, "I just wished you never had to see that." He added running a hand into her hair.

Kelly smiled, "Nothing can change that now," Her voice was sweet, Juice couldn't take how kind she was being, and he could feel Tara finish cleaning the gun shot.

"I'm going to give you a mild anaesthetic," Tara felt tired, today was just one big drama that she didn't need in her life, but her attention went to Kelly cleaning his face up, she knew just how it felt to be in love the way she was. "I shouldn't take long; it was a clean through and through."

"Cool," Kelly looked up to Tara, "Just let me know how to look after it," She brushed a hand over Juice.

Tara watched, but knew that Chibs was paying close attention to Juice now, "I'll give you everything you need." Her voice comforting, but she went back to stitching Juice's leg after giving him an injection.

"You did good lad," Chibs spoke up, "I'll take you two home, and tonight just look after each other." He got to his feet; he took out a pack of smokes offering one to Kelly and Juice.

Kelly took the smoke taking the bowl off her lap, "Thank Chibs," She lit up the smoke, but Chibs could tell her nerves were still fried.

Juice turned down the smoke, his hand resting on Kelly's thigh as he felt her leg tense for a second, "You going to be okay?" He asked, he could already feel the needle going through his skin, but the pain had subsided a lot.

"I'm good," Kelly bit her lip, but brought the smoke to her mouth inhaling, she exhaled looking over to Chibs, "Is everything okay with the Cartel?" She asked while playing with the smoke in her hand.

Chibs nodded, "Yes, it's fine." He exhaled watching Tara, "But you shouldn't have to worry about that shit right now, you just take care of your boy." He looked to Juice whose hand still covered his face, the other running up and down Kelly's thigh.

Kelly placed a hand over Juice's, "He's not a boy Chibs," She tapped Juice's hand looking down to him. "He's my man." Her voice gentle as her hand squeezed onto his.

Juice couldn't believe it, in all his life he'd never heard a woman call him that, and even if it was meant to fill him with great pride, all he felt was sick.

* * *

><p>"I got him from here," Kelly said; Chibs was standing with Juice hanging off his shoulder. Putting the key in the lock Kelly opened the front door. "I've carried him here while he was blind ass drunk, and I had a broken wrist." She gave Chibs a reassuring smile, "I'll be fine, I promise."<p>

"If you're sure," Chibs carefully passed Juice to Kelly, he watched as she wrapped her good arm around his waist holding him against her side, her other hand was in a splint holding the door open, "You look after him."

"I will," Kelly leant forward kissing Chibs cheek. "Goodnight," She watched him lighting up a smoke.

"You too," He took one last look at Juice, he looked completely defeated, but Chibs gave him a small smile. "Just take care Juicy boy." He walked away getting back into the truck driving off.

Kelly exhaled walking them into the apartment.

Juice didn't know why, but it felt different walking in, well more he was being held up by Kelly walking them through to the bedroom. "Kelly," He said feeling her placing him down on the bed; she started to take his boots off, followed by his socks. "I need to ask you."

"I really don't want to talk about it," Kelly glanced up to him, she gave a soft smile, "I told everyone what I saw, and I can't think of it again."

"Hey, hey…" Juice watched her taking off his pants, he tried to sit up, but he exhaled grabbing her hands. "I just need to know, how much you saw."

"I saw you on the ground, I saw him with a knife," Her voice was dull; Juice could see she was telling the truth, "I just want to get you ready for bed."

Juice watched her getting to her feet, he kept still as she took him out of his clothes, and she looked worn out going over to her draw getting out something to wear. "Juan," Kelly spoke finally.

"Yeah," He felt his throat was dry, it was like the air was being sucked from the room, but she turned to face him.

Kelly moved across the room, sitting on the bed her hands resting on his, she glanced over his chest, down to his leg, "If anything would have happened to you, if," She took a calming breathe, "I don't know what I'd do."

"Darling," He whispered pulling her close to him, he felt her head resting against his chest, for a moment feeling her hands wrap around him, it didn't change how he felt, he wasn't the hero, he couldn't even feel proud of himself now.

Pulling away Kelly lightly kissed him, her hands resting on his stomach. For a moment she felt his lips hesitant on her own, but his fingers worked their way into her hair, she was careful as she got closer, her hands moving over his boxer as she kissed deeper.

Juice moved his hands; he ran them up her back feeling the Goosebumps rise on her skin. Pulling her shirt off he kissed her neck slowly, her hand rubbing his against his hard on, he placed his hand on top of her stopping her. "Kelly…" He said breathless.

"Shh…" She looked into his eyes, "Don't talk." She purred getting up from the bed. Juice watching her as she kicked her boots off, she moved her hands to her belt buckle taking her jeans off.

Standing in front of him, Juice kept staring at her body, he'd seen it so many times before now, but some reason it was different now. It wasn't her being just naked, she was exposing herself to him, showing she trusted him with something others would never get to see.

Taking his boxers off, Kelly brushed a hand carefully against his wound, her eyes going back to his as she saddled herself on him, he felt her guiding him inside of her, and he let out a moan feeling her moving down on him. Juice could only hold onto her face kissing her slowly, the kiss didn't have any urgency, it was passionate, and he ran his hands down her back feeling her moving on him.

Kelly taking her time, she kissed his neck, his hands guiding her, doing all she could to avoid hurting him, but feeling herself building to a climax, they both took in the moment, her eyes meeting his. "I love you."

Juice bit his lip; he looked up to her with a smile that she could see was melancholy, "I love you too." He whispered feeling her getting off him, he rolled to his side feeling the sting of his wound, but he laid down feeling her head resting against his chest. "I love you so much." He inhaled the smell of her hair.

Kelly ran her hands up his chest, her eyes shifting to look up to him, "Juan," Her words wary, "What makes you think Miles took the coke?"

"I don't know," He replied feeling the stab of guilt again, his hand rubbing against her shoulder. "Maybe he was in between a rock and hard place." He closed his eyes trying to push the pain away.

Kelly sighed, "I think he shouldn't have done it, but it's hard to say." She moved on the bed watching Juice, "The club isn't so forgiving of thieves, but maybe that Roosevelt at had something to do with it." Her hands playing over his tattoos, "I doubt he was going to use or sell it, but I guess it doesn't matter now."

"Kelly," Juice said watching her reaction, "How do you feel about the rules of the club?" He kept looking into her eyes as she drifted off in thought.

"I don't know, I mean a lot are dated, but they made one exception for me, but I guess I was a joke gone wrong." She let out a yawn, "I'm having doubts of ever being patched in, rules are rules and it's all there." She carefully moved to get off the bed to turn out the light, "Maybe it's just for the best that curtain types are not allowed in the club."

As the light went out, Juice felt Kelly getting back into the bed, her head resting on his chest again, he could feel her drifting off to sleep, but in the back of his mind, he could feel if this ever got out, she'd leave him, he'd lose the club and will have nothing left to live for.


	8. In Chains

**AN: **Well I am pretty sure this chapter has completely drained me emotionally, but I know that a lot of people found this episode the hardest to watch, but I do hope you enjoy the chapter, as after the next one my updates will be weekly...

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter eight<br>**_In Chains_

* * *

><p>Juice tried to be quiet as he moved around the bedroom getting dressed; he turned to see Kelly sleeping, her hands holding to where he once was. He couldn't sleep that night; he spent the whole time watching Kelly, her words echoing inside his head, he pulled his cut on seeing her stirring out of sleep.<p>

"You're making a habit of leaving me in bed…" Kelly mumbled opening her eyes, her fingers were stretching across the mattress looking up to him, and she could see he was just about to walk out of the bedroom.

Juice froze, "I just got a call. I'm needed to be at the warehouse." He walked back to the bed sitting down touching her face, "Go back to sleep." He brushed his hand through her hair.

"Sleep," Kelly laughed, "I…" Her words cut off as he kissed her, his lips light as she tried to pull him back into bed.

Juice pulled away, "I really should go." He felt her staring at him, he knew the look flashing over her blue eyes making it hard to figure out what emotion she was feeling in that moment.

"If you give me a minute I could come with you," Kelly smiled moving from the bed, but she paused feeling him her holding her still. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

Juice exhaled, "Kelly."

"I don't like the sound of that," Kelly sat up, she pulled the sheet up over herself, she could tell there was something in the tone of his voice, and it was something she didn't like.

Juice closed his eyes, "I think its best you stay away from the warehouse," He went to touch her face, but watched as she pulled away from him. "I'm serious, I don't want you there."

"And what makes you think you can dictate where I go?" Her voice dropped the cheerful tone, her hands tighter on the sheet feeling doubtful.

Holding the bridge of his nose Juice got to his feet, he turned to look at her, her whole face had fallen. "I just don't think you'll be safe there, can you just do as you're told for once." He tried to walk back to the bed. He knew the mistake the moment the words left his mouth. "Please don't be pissed at me."

"Too late," Kelly turned her attention to the closet, "Just go."

Juice bit his lip; it felt like something was squeezing tight around his heart now, "Kelly."

"Get out!" She screamed throwing her alarm clock at him; it missed smashing on the wall.

Jumping at the sound of the alarm breaking he made a dash for the door, he closed it behind it running his hands over his head. He let out a deep breath before picking up his keys and leaving.

* * *

><p>Getting off her bike Kelly headed into the club house, it was quiet outside, but it was busy inside. Kelly could see everyone gathered around the bar as she walked up to try and see what was going on in the chapel. She looked to see Álvarez lying on the table with Tara and Chibs dealing with a gunshot wound to his shoulder.<p>

Tara turned to see Kelly, her face falling, "I thought you were going to be staying home today." She looked over Kelly. She could tell that Kelly had something on her mind as she took a step back.

"Fight with Juan," Kelly stood beside Chibs looking into the room, "What's going on here?"

Kelly looked up to Chibs as he took the blood covered gloves off, "I need you to stay at the compound today lass." He felt like she was in her own world, "some serious stuff is happening."

"I," Kelly inhaled; she could tell something bad had happened, her eyes going Álvarez, "I think I better go out there." For a second she didn't want to bother anyone with her minor problem.

"You just look after yourself," Chibs touched her cheek, he watched as her eyes closed taking in the small token of affection. "Anything you want to talk about?" He stepped closer to her.

Kelly opened her eyes looking to Chibs, she shook her head lightly. "It's domestic stuff, club business trump domestic." Her voice was soft while she gave Chibs a quick hug.

"I guess when I can, I'll be having a few words with Juice," He let Kelly go putting on a fresh pair of gloves going to help Tara.

Kelly walked up to Clay standing at the bar with Tig; Opie was behind the bar with Bobby to the other side. Kelly reached behind it grabbing a bottle and a shot glass, "Want one?" She asked holding a glass out Clay.

"I'm guessing we're all having a bad morning," He sat down looking to the drink before taking it, "I won't ask." He pointed out knocking back the drink seeing her pouring herself one.

Kelly felt the whiskey burning her throat, "Thank you," She turned to see Juice walking into the Club house looking as confused as she was.

Juice saw Kelly sitting with Clay, his eyes going to the look on her face; he knew she was still pissed at him. "Why are you not at the warehouse?" Clay asked Juice.

"Chibs told me to come back," Juice replied, he could see Kelly picking up the bottle walking to a table. "We're on lock down."

"Who's there now?" Clay ignored Juice's staring towards Kelly, he knew that her need to drink had something to do with him, but he wasn't going to mention it just yet.

Juice turned back to Clay, "Hap, Rat and Vilan, why?" He looked confused, but as he studied over Kelly, he didn't want to see how she was acting.

Juice was zoning out as Clay spoke, he heard him talking at him. "Yeah I'm on it." He took one last look at Kelly before heading into the back room.

She knew he was going to avoid her; she glanced to the bottle knowing that she was going to regret this later getting to her feet she headed into the chapel to see Tara standing over Álvarez.

Clay walked in, he could see Kelly, but ignored her looking to Álvarez, "Got any idea who this was?" Clay asked as Tara was setting up a needle.

Tig watching, his eyes turning to Kelly as Clay spoke, "What are you doing?" He snatched the bottle from her hand; Kelly hissed trying to snatch it back. "We're having a real problem, and last I want is to be cleaning up after you." His glared at her, "Get your shit together!"

Juice walked in, he could see Tara injecting, Tig was looking mad at Kelly, and his eyes watching as Kelly tried to grab the bottle again.

Attention back to Clay he inhaled as Tara walked out of the room, "She found a note in her car. Death threat." Clay's voice was serious, but he heard Kelly gasp covering her mouth.

Juice froze turning around, his looked from Clay to Kelly only a few feet away from him looking shocked, "Death threat?" He felt scared, he moved across the room placing a hand to Kelly's shoulder.

Kelly couldn't focus, the alcohol working quicker than she thought, but her eyes turned to look at Juice paying attention, "Don't…" She whispered feeling his hand drop from her shoulder; she now stormed out of the room.

She couldn't take it, Kelly felt herself heading for the door picking out a smoke from her pocket, and she lit it up sitting on a bench. She inhaled the smoke letting it drift as she glanced to see him. "Fuck me if my day couldn't get any worse." She glared to Roosevelt.

"Miss Madock, isn't it a lovely surprise to see you," He smiled, "How are you feeling?" He knew he was here for other business, but he could tell that she must be drunk as she lightly swayed on the spot.

"I don't know, you try telling me," Her voice was rough, Kelly wasn't have the best of weeks, but since coming back from New York it just seemed shit had to have piled on her.

Roosevelt rocked in his feet, he saw Chucky heading towards them, "Can I help you officer?" He looked nervous; he knew it was best for him not to go into the club house.

"I just need a word with Doctor Knowles," He was positively beaming, his attention going back to Kelly as Chucky rushed off. "So where was I?" He rocked on his feet, "Right, I hear you're Juan Carlos's old lady now."

"I ain't anyone's old lady!" Kelly got to her feet, "And I'll assume you've got a reason to be here." Her eyes started to glare, she didn't know why, but she was starting to hate this guy.

"Now, now, I'm just doing my job, but then I've got a feeling you lot don't seem to want me to do that." He smiled seeing Tara walk out of the club house. "Miss Knowles a word." He titled his head away walking with Tara away from Kelly.

Kelly looked back to see as Tara talked with Roosevelt everyone was coming to watch, it was like a painful pit was forming in her stomach as Kelly jumped running into Juice. "Oh shit."

"Are you drunk?" Juice held her arms to stop her moving, "Kelly…" He looked into her eyes, "Is this because of this morning?"

Kelly bit het lip looking up to him, "I said to you, one thing you I hated." Her hands moved to try and push him off her, "Don't talk to me like you own me, you just don't get how much it makes me want to beat you when you speak to me like that." Her voice was straining to get the words out.

Juice exhaled, "I'm sorry, I'm just under a lot of stress and…"

"Mr Ortiz PO called for a piss test," Roosevelt interrupted him.

Juice turned away from Kelly trying to hold her attention, while looking to Roosevelt. He exhaled, "When?"

"Now," He replied heading back to his car, "You can follow me up." He got into the car.

Juice grunted, "This is bullshit!" He now watched Kelly using this time to slip away back inside the club house. "Fuck!"

"You better go; we don't want him pissing around here again." Clay watched as Juice took off, he turned back to the club house. This was not a good day.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I signed off on this shit!" Tara snapped turning her back to Gemma, this was getting too much. All she wanted to do was get her sons and leave this as far behind her as humanly possible.<p>

Gemma felt lost, "Signed off on what?" she stepped closer to Tara; she didn't understand what was going through her head.

Tara exhaled, "I better go clean up," She walked out of the kitchen running right into Kelly. "Shit Kelly!" She stepped passed her going to the bathroom.

Gemma watched Kelly walking into the kitchen, "What's gotten her pissed?" She headed to the fridge looking for something to help sober herself up.

"Trouble dealing with club problems," Gemma stepped behind Kelly watching her picking up a yogurt. "You going to explain the sudden need for me to drive you to an AA meeting?" Her tone was serious watching Kelly turning to face her.

"I might be in something serious," Kelly pulled the lid of the yogurt off; she licked it seeing Gemma wasn't going away. "I might have made a problem with Juan where one shouldn't have been, cos I freaked out." She moved towards the table siting down.

"Kelly…" Gemma sat beside her, "Guessing it's not really a good time to be picking fights, I guess I can try and help." She took Kelly's hand; she watched her drinking the Yogurt from the pot.

"If I'm doing it, I can talk about it," Kelly laughed, but stopped seeing Gemma's face. "Last night Juan and I had sex." Her eyes looking to Gemma's still holding on tightly.

"I don't see why that would freak you out," Feeling confused Gemma squeezed Kelly's hand more, "Why the need to push away?"

"Because it wasn't just sex," Her eyes searching Gemma's, "See you have the sex you have to feel good, then you have the emotional sex."

"Oh…" Gemma nodded, "I'm guessing what happened to him. Nearly dying and all," Her other hand was taking the yogurt pot from Kelly, "It's not a bad thing for you to have." Gemma smiled, "I'm thinking when you see him next, you need to tell him how you feel about the sex, and then you need to get your shit together."

"And not get drunk and puke all over Opie's bathroom floor." Kelly tried to smile seeing Gemma's face fall. "Sorry…"

"Yeah," Gemma got to her feet, "Don't worry, I'll get Chuckles to go clean it up." She walked out the kitchen leaving Kelly alone; she looked through the window seeing her bury her face onto the table surface.

* * *

><p>Juice couldn't get away from Roosevelt fast enough; it was like someone had poured acid down his throat. Everything that was happening today, all this weeks had now just been dropped over him, he couldn't think straight, when he tried to think it wouldn't make sense.<p>

The shit he'd gotten himself into, he was now in someone's pocket, if his secret got out, who cared that his father was black, right now he stole from the club, he killed Miles, and if he didn't do what Roosevelt told him, he was going to end up in prison again, but as a rat. He'd die and labelled a traitor.

Pulling up to the Club house Juice was met by Chibs, "How's the piss?" He asked walking beside him.

"Clean," Juice kept focusing on the club house, he kept thinking of so much, mostly he wanted to see Kelly, he couldn't stand her being mad at him, all the things going to shit, he wasn't letting this go there too.

"Bobby wants to burn some stuff off you," Chibs said watching Juice walking away, he listened to Juice mild reply, "Hey, hey! Juice!" He called as he walked right passed them going into the club house.

Walking in, he could see Kelly sitting at a table with a glass of water. Juice rushed over to her, he didn't give her a chance to say anything as he grabbed her face kissing her.

Kelly felt Juice's hands on her face as his lips crashed against her own, she felt confused for a second as he held the kiss, she didn't push away letting him kiss her, she pulled away looking into his eyes. "What was that for?"

"I don't want you pissed at me," He replied, he kept focused on her face; he could tell she was sobering up, her hand touching his face, "I need us to be okay."

"What's wrong?" Kelly felt her headache wasn't helping the situation, but her fingertips brushing against his cheek. She'd never seen him look this scared before, her hands kept stroking his cheek. "Juan…"

Juice tried to smile, but he couldn't believe the mess he'd gotten himself into, he exhaled. "I don't own you," He whispered touching his forehead to hers, "Whatever happens, I want you to remember how much I love you."

"Juan, you're talking weird," Kelly looked into his eyes; it scared her to see him acting this way. "Please," Her voice pleading with his. "Tell me what's wrong, if it's Roosevelt, his a douche for keep bringing you in for tests, I mean how many piss tests do you need to…" Her eyes went wide looking nervous. "No…" She whispered.

"Juice, Clay needs to speak to you now," Chibs butted in, he could see something was wrong with Kelly, but put it down to her sobering up. "I wouldn't keep him waiting."

Juice gave Kelly one last kiss, "Please," He brushed his lips against hers, "Remember how much I love you." He got up walking away leaving Kelly not sure what had just happened, but a sinking feeling she finally clicked to why he'd been acting so weird lately.

* * *

><p>She paced outside the chapel doors, she couldn't wait to talk to Juice, but Kelly knew that whatever was happening in there was killing her. The feeling of something being wrong with the man she loved was hurting too much, but with everything that was happening, she couldn't help but feel the final pieces of a very messy puzzle falling into place.<p>

When the doors finally opened, she could see the tears in his eyes. It didn't take her long to feel him in her arms, she held onto him keeping quiet. "You said we needed to talk." She whispered softly to him. "I think we need to do it now."

Juice pulled back, he felt her hands brushing over his face, her eyes searching his, but he couldn't see her that well through his blurred vision. "Kelly," His voice barely over a whispered, but he felt her hand taking hold of his own walking him towards the bedrooms.

"We need to talk, you can go do whatever Clay asked you to do, after I've had my say," Her hand holding his tight opening the bedroom door, she watched Juice walk in before she walked in shutting it behind her.

Juice sat on the bed, he kept looking down to the Men of Mayhem patch, and he couldn't look at her. "I haven't got long, so if you going to say something," He paused looking up, she was standing in front of him. "I don't know what to say."

Rubbing her hands over her face Kelly exhaled slowly, "Men of Mayhem, you must be over the moon." Kelly sat beside him, her hand came down to rest on his knee, "Juan, I've had a lot of things buzzing in my head."

"Don't say it," Juice cut her off, "I…" He felt her lips touching his, he felt frozen before holding her cheek, and he felt his tears rolling onto her face. "You know?"

"I've known for a while Juan," Her voice soft, "I just didn't want to admit it to myself." Her eyes kept searching his, "What does he have on you?"

Juan couldn't hold in anymore, letting it all out as Kelly rested his head against her chest, "I can't, it's." He wrapped his arms around her, he couldn't bring her into his mess, a mess he didn't have many options anymore, and it was die quick, or die bloody.

"Juan," Kelly rubbing her hand down his back, she felt him pull away to look at her, "We're going to get through this, but you've got to get a level-headed." Her voice was a low whisper.

Juan nodded, "I need to take care of it. I'll make sure none of this comes back to you." He touched her cheek; he gave her a soft kiss. "You trust me?"

"With my life, but how are you going to fix this Juan?" Kelly watched him getting to his feet, she felt nervous, but as she went to stand up, he wrapped her in his arms holding her tight. "Juan you're scaring me."

He tried to smile, but in his head he was already planning everything, "I'm going to fix my mess, and you're going to deny everything." He ran his fingers into her hair, taking in everything. He knew what he was going to do would be the best, the less she knew the safer she'd be.

She couldn't stop herself jumping up as he turned to leave, she wrapped her arms around his stomach hugging onto his back, she couldn't stop herself feeling sick, "Juan, please don't do anything stupid." She whispered feeling him turn around.

Juice took her face in his hand, it was like his heart was breaking into a million pieces, but he wanted her to remember who he was before all this mess, "I'm going to fix this, okay." He felt her tremble, he knew this was going to hurt her, but it was now at his own hands, or at the hands of people who'd hurt him, and even her. "I love you." He kissed her, the last kiss he was planning on giving her.

Kelly felt him wrap his arms around her, his lips moving on hers with such urgency that she couldn't help but get swept away in it, her fingers lingering down the front of his T shirt, his resting on her ass.

"Juice warehouse!" Clay opened the door, he looked over Juice and Kelly, he'd never really been one for being a peeking Tom, but he smirked, "Juice, you can celebrate your patch some other time." He watched Juice letting Kelly go, "Remember, compound until I say so Kelly." He left the room.

Kelly bit her lip, her hand reaching out to Juice, "I love you," Her voice shaking, "I don't think I'll ever love anyone like I love you." She kissed his cheek softly.

Juice didn't want to let her go, but he knew it would work out for the best, "I love you too Kelly, remember that, remember." He brushed a hand over her hair, "I gotta go." He turned walking out the room, he didn't look back feeling his heart now broken, and it was going to all be over soon.

Line here

Sitting under a tree, Juice had thought everything through, everything to the final details. He wasn't going to leave a note, but what he wanted to try and go without anyone being able to stop him.

He sewed his Men of Mayhem patch to his cut, he kept trying to remind himself why this was for the best, it had to be the only option to die at his own hands, other than him dying from the hands of the club, the same club that had to think Kelly had no involvement what so ever. He'd heard of stories of women being exiled for the mistakes of the men they love, that they were left with nothing. He didn't want that for Kelly, he didn't know how she worked out his secret, but the way he'd been acting it was hard for her not to know something was wrong.

Listening to the sound of his phone ringing again, it rung a few times before, and it was Kelly. He couldn't pick up, but now it was ringing nonstop, he glanced down to his cut, it was complete and he inhaled getting to his feet heading to the truck.

* * *

><p>Tig looked to his cards; it was going to be long night with the pending vote. He felt some relaxation as he placed a card down on top of the other, "When you said card game darling, I thought you meant a real game." He exhaled looking to Kelly who seemed to be in her own head all the night.<p>

"I just thought it was simple, I can't think too much," She now looked to her cards. Kelly had given up trying to call Juice, he wasn't answering her calls, and now she had resorted to playing card games with Tig in an attempt to clear her head, she knew she wasn't that good at card games, but she was trying. "Everything's going to shit in a doggy bag," Her eyes looking up to him as she picked up a card adding it to her deck.

"So Juice's still in a funk, you know how you can get him out of it." He watched her eyes looking at him puzzled, "Give him a hummer."

"Really Tig?" Kelly watched him make a move, "I think what's going on in his head isn't going to be fix by me giving him head, plus I tried it three nights ago."

"The Miles shit didn't happen three nights ago," He looked confused to Kelly, "How long has he been moody?"

Kelly put a run of cards down, "It's just domestic stuff," Kelly chimed in, "I mean he gets caught once with weed, now they're all over him." She focused on her cards, "Plus you may think he's nothing but a simply minded dork, but he's more than that."

"You're his old lady, if anyone knows him well…" He paused looking to Kelly's face, "Sorry, forgot that phase hits a sore spot." He placed the rest of his card down, "I win again."

Kelly nodded, "You do," She picked the cards up shuffling them, "Plus the more I keep pushing away from the title of old lady, well." She now handed Tig the cards, "I'm just fighting an inevitable fact that I love the lug head, so it comes with the package."

"I can see that," Tig placed the cards down looking to Kelly, "I'm not really much for sentimental crap, but I've got to ask." He took a deep breath, "Do you think he's going to bounce back from this?"

Kelly went to open her mouth, "Juice isn't picking up any of his calls, and they said he never showed at the warehouse." Chibs spoke to Clay heading into the club house.

For a second it was like everything in Kelly went cold, her eyes looking over to Chibs, but turned back to Tig. "I think I need some air…" She got to her feet rushing out of the club house.

"Ah shit!" Tig got to his feet, his eyes going to Clay, "She's going to look for him."

Clay nodded, "Go after her," His attention to Chibs, "I wanna get this over with tonight!" He marched back into the chapel slamming the doors.

* * *

><p>Riding her bike as fast as she could, Kelly knew that Chibs and Tig were behind her. Her wrist was starting to feel the strain. That didn't matter to her right now, what mattered was getting to the warehouse, she didn't know how she knew, but she knew that something wasn't right. It hadn't been right since the moment he walked away from her.<p>

Getting off her bike, she didn't even care, feeling it crash to the ground she ran, her chest burning, her head spinning, she couldn't stop her feet from pushing themselves to the limit.

Sitting on the branch Juice felt scared, this was the thing he'd been planning the moment he stepped out of the club house, he inhaled his last breath before pushing himself off the tree. It was the pain that hit him first, the feeling of not being able to breathe as he attempted to pull at the chain around his throat.

The branch was cracking, he wished it was just over with already, but as the crash echoed around him he felt his feet hitting the ground, the feeling his back on dirt and the need to pull the chain off from around his neck.

Kelly heard it, the sound of breaking tree branches, her eyes looking around to see where the sound was coming from, she paused closing her eyes, she heard the struggle, but when she found the source of the sound she felt her chest tighten.

The loud crash followed by a thud, she backed away, her eyes never stop staring at Juice lying on the floor, she didn't know if he was alive or dead, but she couldn't make herself step forward, her eyes looking over Juice feeling every bad feeling hit her at once.

Juice sat up, his eyes connecting with Kelly's as she was frozen to the spot, "You wasn't supposed to see this." His voice was raspy, but he could tell she wasn't moving, her eyes never blinking or leaving his face. "Kelly." He called when she finally turned away from him heading in the opposite direction.

Hearing the sound of approaching bikes, he quickly got to his feet, he knew that Kelly was around here somewhere, but he couldn't let anyone else see. He quickly moved away from the broken tree branch, his attention to where he left the truck coming out of the bushes seeing Tig and Chibs staring at Kelly's bike on the ground.

"There!" Chibs pointed to him as he made his way over, Juice could see Tig putting Kelly's bike up right.

Juice kept trying to think, he needed a good story, "Hey…"

"Hey," Chibs replied trying to work out what was wrong with Juice stepping closer; he brushed a hand against his jacket. "You take a spill?" He asked seriously, but kept walking around looking over Juice, he noticed the bruise on his throat. "What's that?"

"Oswald, man's got them stupid security chains all over these back roads…" Juice kept looking around; he didn't even know what he was going to say to Kelly.

Tig smirked, "You clothes line one of them… Jackass!" He gave him a dirt look, "Your old lady's running around them looking for ya!" He pointed out looking around for a sign of Kelly.

Chibs exhaled, "We gotta go, vote" He then inhaled.

"What for? Drugs?" Juice asked, he tried to focus, but it seemed his head was swimming, he felt sick looking from Tig to Chibs.

Tig looked serious again, "Change of leadership." He now kicked some dirt, "You guys go ahead. I'll find Kelly." He headed towards the bushes finally seeing Kelly stepping out. "You really sure he's not some simple minded dork?" He pointed to Juice, "He clothes lines a security chain." His voice was bitter.

Juice's eyes meeting Kelly's looking worried, but so far she'd not blown his cover. Her face was looking blank of all emotion. "Guess he's not eating enough carrots." Kelly now shook her wrist out. "I think I've done something," Her eyes going to Tig, "You mind I double with you back?"

Tig felt lost looking from Juice to Kelly, he didn't know what to think, "Sure doll," He handed her his helmet since she rode out so quick she didn't put hers on.

Chibs's eyes going from Juice looking clearly upset, but Kelly looking like a ghost, he didn't have a good feeling about any of this, but got on his bike waiting for the others to be behind him.

Juice got into the truck looking to Tig riding off with Kelly on the back of his bike, he couldn't help but feel the vision of her face burned into the back of his mind as he never wanted her to see him like that, but the damage was already done, and he just needed to find a way to fix it.


	9. Helpless lives grow

**AN: **So I am happy to say that this chapter is long... And for me it's very long, but I've been trying to work out how to make the events work for me. Mainly cos the fact a suicide attempt can make or break a relationship.  
>I hope you all like what I am doing with this story, also that since I have not seen episode nine yet, the next update won't be posted until Friday, so I hope you all enjoy, and if you're alerting this, please feel free to review, cos I have no idea who is reading and liking this.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter nine<strong>**_  
><em>Helpless lives grow<em>  
><em>

* * *

><p>Opie sat on the bed with just his thoughts, he kept thinking of how everything had changed for him in a matter of a few years, he lost the woman he loved, and he still feels like a stranger to his own children. Losing Lyla was the last straw to everything, he knew deep down that his marriage to Lyla was nothing like being married to Donna. Donna was his old lady; she took care of things, made him strong. When he married Lyla, he knew that it didn't feel right, but he just prayed for some kind of miracle to make things better.<p>

Turning the music he was playing down he heard a knock on his door, "Who is it?" He called not moving off the bed, but sees Kelly poking her head in. "I thought you weren't talking to me."

Kelly felt her eyes going over Opie, "The promise you made to me still stand? That I can come to you if I need someone?"

"It still stands," Opie sat up on the bed watching her enter the room; she closed the door looking nervous. "Kelly what's the matter?" He got to his feet heading over to her, his hands brushing against her cheeks.

For a minute Kelly stood still, her hands by her side trying to push the image of Juice hanging in the tree before crashing to the ground, her body started to tremble with all her fear. "I can't talk about it." Her voice was weak, she was tired, and she was scared of everything she felt.

"Did Juice hurt you?" Opie felt his voice growl, he didn't think Juice was capable of doing anything that stupid, but he watched as Kelly shock her head violently. "Kelly…" He started but watched as she crumbled, he caught her in his arms feeling her breaking down.

Kelly couldn't hold it anymore, she felt Opie cradling her in his arms, she wrapped her hands into his cut, she held onto him feeling her tears falling down onto his shirt, but he never let he go. "I can't," Her voice breaking through her tears, "Opie, I just need you," She cried.

He didn't know what to do, lifting her up he placed her on the bed, he got on too feeling her head resting against his chest, he listened to her crying, and it was the one thing Opie couldn't stand. The painful sounds in her sobs, the way her hands held tight onto him, he could tell her wrist wasn't in good shape as it looked red and swollen. "Kelly, you want to stay with me tonight?" He pushed her hair from her face, her eyes staring up at him, he knew she needed someone right now, and he lightly tried to smile for her.

She didn't need to think as her head nodded, her throat hurt, her face stung from tears as she moved on the bed. Rubbing her eyes Kelly looked over Opie, "Why do people want to be in love, when all it does is hurt you." Her eyes looked down to her hands.

"I don't know what to say," Opie ran his hand across her face placing some of her hair behind her ear; he looked into her eyes, the same eyes he remember when she was a little girl. "It's complicated."

"I wish it wasn't, I wish it was all simple." Her voice straining to keep control, Kelly sniffed while Opie found a tissue to give to her. "I'm not even sure what's going to happen anymore."

He could tell whatever was wrong, he wasn't going to get it out of her, and Opie just hoped Juice would get his shit together and look after her. "I wish it was simple too." He said while looking to the time, "I better get some sleep, big vote tomorrow."

"Change of leadership, it seems big." Kelly looked around the room, "Who's challenging Clay?"

Opie got off the bed, he walked over to a draw taking out an oversized T shirt and short, "Bobby," He passed her the clothes, "But that's all I can say." He glanced to the bathroom. "I'll let you change in here if you want."

Kelly nodded, "Thanks Ope," She watched him walking into the bathroom, when the door closed she got up pulling her shirt off.

Getting changed in this room felt weird, all the rooms practically looked the same, but she knew Juice's room was neater; it was like he made sure everything he did at the club reflected on him in a good way.

Getting into the bed Kelly pulled the sheets over herself, "I'm finished." She called as Opie exited the bathroom, he smiled. "Thanks for letting me stay here." She watched him take his cut off placing on the desk; he pulled his shirt off sitting on the bed.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to have a few words with Juice," He watched her face go pale, "I am just going to talk." He felt himself touching her face again. "I know you love him, but whatever is happening with you two, it's got to stop before you push each other away and lose what you have now."

"I don't want to lose him Ope," Kelly watched him kicking off his boots getting into the bed with her, "But I think he's just pulling away."

Opie exhaled, he pulled her into his arms hugging her tight. "I'm going to figure this out." He whispered into her hair, he kept staring at the wall before turning the lamp off, "Just get some sleep." He kissed the top of her head before lying down in the bed with her head resting against his chest.

* * *

><p>He felt worn out, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get any sleep. The club house was quiet as he rolled over in the bed to remember that Kelly wasn't with him.<p>

When he parked the truck that night, he walked over to Tig to see she was already gone. Tig couldn't even help with where she went, but inside Juice knew that she wasn't going to be talking to him for a while.

He couldn't feel any worse, more on the fact that now he had the time to think about it, he couldn't believe he went that far, he knew he couldn't risk doing it again as he got out of bed throwing on some clothes.

Walking out of the room he started to make his way to chapel, but felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him around. "Me and you need to talk," Opie's face looked mean, Juice didn't have a good feeling of this as he glanced back to the chapel, but could tell Opie was serious.

"Sure," He followed Opie outside.

Opie now pointed to a table, "Sit!" He snapped watching Juice carefully.

Juice sat down. "What do you need to talk about?" He looked nervously around himself.

"I think you know who we need to talk about," He reached into his pocket taking out a smoke, Opie wasn't sure what was going to happen, but he exhaled watching Juice carefully. "You've upset Kelly real bad." He pointed to Juice's face, "She won't tell me anything, but I've not seen her this upset since her old man killed himself."

Feeling like someone had shoved a knife into his throat Juice stared at Opie, "Shit," He muttered, "Kelly never told me he killed himself, she just said he died."

"No, she wouldn't tell anyone that," Opie exhaled some smoke studying Juice, "She was only nine at the time when she found him hanging in the garage." He flicked the smoke away, "Kelly doesn't like to talk about it, and we don't talk about it either." Opie see Jax pulling up on his bike, "I know you're a good guy Juice, but whatever is going on, you need to fix it fast before she believes you don't care."

Juice nodded, "I do care," He watched Opie walking towards Jax, "Hey Ope!" He called watching the other man turn around. "Do you think I can fix it?"

He shrugged, "All I know is I've been looking out for Kelly since she was a little girl, she'd not little anymore, and she'd no girl either." He sighed, "But she still needs to feel cared for." Opie turned walking away.

* * *

><p>Her head was throbbing when she opened her eyes; she heard the car before she heard the sound of guns. "Oh shit!" she shouted seeing a round of bullets smashing through the window. Kelly pushed herself on the floor crawling under the bed, she listened to the sound of automatic guns firing against the wall, and she kept still listening to the speeding car. Her hands were covering her ears waiting for the sound to stop.<p>

Hearing silence Kelly rolled out from under the bed, she stood up looking to the mess, she exhaled running a hand through her hair seeing holes in the wall where she was just sleeping. "Fuck…" Her eyes going to the door, she picked up a shirt Opie left on a chair putting it on walking outside slowly.

While everyone was talking about the bag of heads Juice watched as Kelly walked out of the club house, she looked shaken up as Opie turned to see her too. Juice couldn't help but notice she wasn't wear much, no shoes as she had an old T-shirt of Opie's on with one of his shirt wrapped around her, and he studied over Opie's face as he walked over to her quickly.

"You alright?" Opie ran a hand down her arm, he looked back to the wall where he knew the guns had fired, and then remembered that was where she was sleeping that night.

Kelly's eyes went over to Juice; she could tell he was staring at her as she wrapped the shirt around herself more. "I'm good," She touched Opie's hand, "What's going on out here?"

Opie turned to see the look on Juice's face, but also went to Gemma watching them like a hawk. "Rival Cartel," He exhaled, he took in her appearance, and he knew why Gemma had a sour look on her face. "Why don't you go inside and clean yourself up." He touched her arm again.

Kelly nodded, "Okay," She took one more look at Juice; she felt her stomach tightening up. She couldn't stop her eyes focusing on his neck from across the lot as she turned and headed back inside.

Watching Kelly go back inside Juice's attention went to Gemma as she met Opie half way from the group, "What was that all about?" Gemma asked nudging her head towards the club house.

"She had a bad night, so I let her stay with me," Opie shook his head at the expression on her face, "It's not like that Gemma." He now could see Juice looking upset. "She needed someone to talk to."

"Okay, if you just talked," Gemma noticed Clay and Jax heading to the office, "Just after what happened with Ima, I didn't think you'd make a habit of making bad choices with would you have sex with." She started to walk back to the club house.

Opie walked over to Juice loading things into the van with Chibs, he placed a hand to Juice's shoulder. "Look, if you think something went down with me and Kelly last night," He could see the fear in Juice's eyes, "Nothing happened, she was upset and I let her stay with me."

"Yeah," Juice nodded, "I trust you Bro." He now could see that look in Chibs eyes, "I'll talk to her when this is over with." He looked to the wall seeing the bullet holes, then thought about how Kelly must have been feeling when it all happened.

Chibs closed the van doors, "Did she mention why she's upset?" He asked folding his arms across his chest.

"No, but whatever it was…" Opie could tell that Juice didn't like hearing it, so Opie patted Juice's shoulder. "Just give a while to be on her own, and then make it right." He turned to Chibs who was still looking serious.

Juice knew they had to leave, but took one last look at the club house, "I will." He went to the driver side of the van.

Chibs looked to Opie, "Kelly's crazy about him."

"She's scared she's losing him," Opie felt his attention going to the van, "So we need to figure out what's up his ass soon, so he doesn't fuck it up." He tapped Chibs's shoulder walking away to start fixing their own mess.

* * *

><p>Roosevelt walked through the empty club house; well it was as good as empty. He could see they still hadn't gotten around to fully cleaning up his damage, but he walked through the dorms. He opened a door looking inside, it was neat, and everything had a place. He walked into the room looking over the computer set up, on the desk he picked up a picture frame; the only picture in the whole room was Juice and Kelly. He studied over Juice's face; he looked happy holding Kelly close on his lap. Kelly's hand was still in a cast, he felt weird looking at the photo like he was invading a private moment between the couple.<p>

Placing the picture down he left the room opening the door to the next room, he was greeted with a scream as Kelly quickly wrapped a towel around herself again.

"I'm sorry!" Roosevelt jumped back seeing Kelly glaring at him, "You've got to leave, this building it part of an investigation and is being locked down." He pointed out trying to avoid staring.

Kelly pulled the towel up, she kept trying to calm herself, but this man made her feel rage, a kind of rage that would only lead her into bad shit. "Well officer, if you want me to leave this building, will clothing be optional, cos I am not leaving in just this towel." Her voice bitter, her eyes kept glaring at the man thinking of the things Juice told her.

"You may get dressed," He pointed to the door, "I'll wait."

Kelly laughed, "You must be so smug behind that badge," Her words filled with hate, Roosevelt turning around to look at her.

"I beg your pardon?" Roosevelt could see the anger in her eyes, the way she stood tall, but most of all how much he could see Gemma Teller morrow in her.

Kelly exhaled, "You act big, and you walk around this club like you're doing whatever you're doing for the good of this town." Her hands holding the towel up, her voice dropping, "But we both know you're nothing but a dirty cop."

"A dirty cop," He laughed, "And why would you suddenly be calling me that?" He waved his hands, "I tried to do everything in my power to find your attacker." He shrugged, "And now I am doing all I can to find the person who threatened to kill Doctor Knowles."

"I'm not talking about that, I am talking about Juan." Her eyes narrowed, "That you took a secret of his, and you used it to make him do something that he…" She bit her lip feeling the pain of it all again, seeing him, and knowing he reached the last resort. "You don't care about anything." Kelly finally said, "As long as you end up smelling of roses, shutting down the Sons of Anarchy."

"So he told you…" Roosevelt took a step forward, "You know his old man's black."

Kelly nodded, "And I don't care, the club wouldn't have cared, but you had to push him, you pushed the fear into his heart and you broke him into a million pieces." Kelly laughed. "Juan is a good man, he is an amazing man." Her hand holding the towel while the other pointed, "But you hurt him, you made him into something he was never made to be, and if I believe in a heaven and hell, I hope you rot in hell for the things you made him do."

Roosevelt inhaled, "I'll leave you to change. You've got fifteen minutes." He walked out the room slamming the door.

He closed his eyes for a second, but opened them to see Gemma, "I told you this building is on lock down." He snapped.

"And my niece is inside there waiting for clean clothes," Gemma held the bag up, "Do you mind?" Her voice was edgy, but he stepped out the way looking to the door.

"Sure, you've both got fifteen minutes to be out." He walked away from the bedrooms heading into the main area of the club house.

"Kelly you decent?" Gemma asked on the other side of the door.

Sitting on the bed with her hands covering her face Kelly looked up, "I'm cool," She watched as the door opened with Gemma stepping in. "I'm not gonna ask."

"I brought you some clean clothes; you left them at my place." She placed the bag on the bed sitting down with Kelly. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," picking up the bag of clothes Kelly looked inside, "Why have you brought me this?" Kelly took out the smart dress, and then also sandals. "I can't ride in this?"

"You're not; you're helping me with the fund raiser." Gemma brushed her hand under Kelly's chin. "Nothing will brighten your mood while looking pretty in a garden."

"What's the catch?" Kelly asked looking serious.

Gemma broke into a smile, "Well, I know it's been a while, but I know you've got an amazing voice and…"

"No!" Kelly pointed, "I am not singing at this thing." Getting to her feet Kelly headed to the bathroom for her jeans and shirt.

Getting to her feet Gemma rushed over to stop Kelly, her hands brushing into her damp hair, "Look, I know how you're feeling right now." She brushed Kelly's hair to one side resting her chin on her shoulder. "It's hard when you fall for someone, and you fall so hard that you don't know how you can be yourself anymore, how you can't separate your shit from theirs."

Closing her eyes Kelly felt Gemma hugging her back, "Gemma, it's more than that…"

"No it's never more, but you have to understand with men, finding that one woman is scary, figuring out that is harder, and they try and fight it, but soon it will make you two stronger." Gemma turned Kelly to face her now, "As long as I've known Juan, he's had no attachments, he's been from sweetbutt to sweetbutt, but you've changed him." Her voice calming, "So you can sing at this fund raiser, show Charming how much SAMCRO helps this town." Her eyes focused on her niece, "And when it's over, when Juan comes back to you, you're going to take care of him, and he'll take care of you."

"Fine I'll sing." Kelly exhaled, "But I'm not wearing that dress," She pointed out. "I can drive to my place and I'll pick something to wear."

Gemma smiled, she put the dress back into the bag, "By your place, you mean?"

"Mine and Juan's place," Kelly could only manage a small smile, but looked over Gemma, "I can go by myself, I guess you've got shit to deal with before this thing starts."

"Well darling, I'll see you in an hour back here," Gemma kissed Kelly lightly, "Be good." She walked out the bedroom leaving Kelly alone.

Kelly sat back on the bed, she ran her hands into her hair feeling worn out, and the day hadn't even begun yet, but she was already tired of it.

* * *

><p>Kelly pulled up to the club house, the squad cars were still around seeing Tara sitting at a table outside. Getting off her bike she walked over to Tara taking her helmet off, she shook her hair out seeing Tara looked upset. "Were you meant to be at work?" She asked sitting with her.<p>

"Yes," Tara exhaled looking over the club, "But work sees me as a security threat." Her eyes narrowed at the reaper on the club house wall.

"Shit," Kelly placed her helmet on the table, "So you have any idea who is threatening to kill you?" Kelly had a feeling it wasn't the rival Cartel, being they just dumped a bag of heads on their doorstep after shooting up the club house.

Tara shook her head, "I have no idea," Her hands moved on the table studying over Kelly. "I heard you've been having a bad few days." Taking Kelly's hand she squeezed it in her own.

"I really don't want to talk about it," Kelly watched Tara, "Plus Gemma's roped me into singing for this thing." She got to her feet looking over the outfit, "Hence this…"

Tara laughed looking to the dress, it was purple with a white belt around her waist, and she wore a pair of tight black jeans tucked into her biker boots. "You look really odd…" Her eyes went to the boots.

Kelly reached into her bag taking out a pair of small heels, "I needed to wear the boots to ride," She looked to the heels, "I don't think it's safe riding in these."

"No," Tara smiled, "But I didn't think Gemma could talk you into singing." She looked over to see Gemma pulling into the lot, "But I guess it's just best to smile and agree."

Walking over to the two girls at the table she felt confused staring at Tara. "Hey I thought you had surgery?" Gemma stood in front of the table studying Tara more.

Tara's smile dropped, "Apparently I am now a security threat," She watched Gemma with a serious expression.

"Ahh shit," Gemma placed her bag down on the table; she glanced over Kelly giving her a funny look.

Tara's attention was still on Gemma, "Am I crazy Gemma?" She started, "Why do I believe him when he says it'll get better." Her face fell thinking of how much this was getting out of hand.

"Because he means it," Gemma replied looking to over her, Tara was really losing her way. "No one saw it coming baby, I hate this shit too." She turned to see Kelly trying to keep her distance.

"I'm trying to do it his way Gemma, I really am." Tara replied. She felt sick to her stomach trying to work out how this was ever going to get better.

"I know you are, Jax is too." Gemma kept her tone calm, but she kept feeling bad about everything that was happening. "We'll pull through, we stick it out." She nodded to herself, "Because that was family does." Her voice was sure of itself.

Kelly rocked on her feet trying to smile, "And I'm pretty sure you've got through a lot, you can get through this." Her hands went to her hips.

Gemma did a double take, "What are you wearing?" Her eyes focused on her biker boots, and then back to the dress.

"You expect me to ride in these?" She held the heels up to Gemma's vision.

Gemma rolled her eyes, "Well why don't we go inside and cheek on my chilli," She took Tara's hand trying to bring some happiness to this horrible day.

Tara exhaled going along, she watched Kelly behind her as they walked into the club house seeing two officers eating bowls of chilli, Gemma giving them funny looks walking into the kitchen with Tara and Kelly behind her.

"Hey Gemma," Chucky rushed after the girls going into the kitchen, he felt worried knowing what she was going to see once she opened the pot. "It's not ready yet…"

Kelly stood behind seeing the look on Gemma's face; she caught a quick glimpse of the head floating in the chilli. "Did you follow the recipe?"

"I had to add some things of my own," Chucky kept a straight face; he knew that they couldn't let the cops get an idea on what was tainting the chilli they were now eating.

Gemma nodded, "I can see that…" Her eyes went back to the cops eating, then to Kelly behind her.

Tara took a step forward to the pot, "Is it spicy?" She went to lift the lid, but Gemma stopped her. She looked confused for a second seeing Kelly staring at the pot as if it was gross.

"Very, actually made my eyes burn." Gemma said looking serious at Tara.

Tara took a step back, "Oh…"

"May have gotten a little over my head," Chucky watched as Kelly did a double take to him. The fact was the four of them standing in the kitchen, he could only think of the cops he gave the chilli to.

Gemma nodded, "It's an old family recipe, very delicate I should have made it myself." Gemma took Tara starting to walk them from the kitchen, "Maybe you should take it down the reservation. I hear Happy likes it that hot." Her eyes snapped to Kelly still staring at the pot. "Come on Kelly you have sound check to get to." She pulled her arm dragging her away from the chilli pot.

Getting outside Kelly felt her gag reflex kick in, "Oh my god!" Her hands waving over her face, "I," She pointed to Gemma, "Sound check?"

"Singing," Gemma pointed to the car, and then to Tara, "Come on ladies of SAMCRO have business to take care of."

* * *

><p>Chibs watched everyone scattering out, he could see Juice standing on his own in thought. He wasn't used to seeing this side of Juice and it was worrying him. Walking over her glanced over the bruise still standing out violently on his throat, "You not heading to the fund raiser?" He asked thinking about the event that Gemma probably roped Kelly into helping with.<p>

"Nah," Juice turned to face Chibs, he had a feeling that Chibs didn't believe his story about the security chains, but wasn't going to say anything else about it. "I think right now I just need some space from Kelly."

"Space from her," Chibs laughed, "I'll tell you one thing that I admire about Kelly, when she's mad, she is well to let people know it." He the sighed, "It's the same when something upsets her too."

"I'm not sure how to do all this," Placing his hands into his pockets, Juice could tell Chibs was paying attention. "I've never really had a serious relationship, and neither has she." He closed his eyes for a second opening them to see Chibs looking serious at him. "I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"No one is ready," Chibs touched his shoulder, "When I got here, Kelly was this little thing, she used to give me funny looks cos she didn't understand a word I said to her, so I used to give her lollies to make her happy." He exhaled stretching out, "I want you to know that you've got two options from here." He reached into his pocket taking out a smoke offering one to Juice watching him take it. "You can end this now, break her heart and go on living your life, or you can stick it out, whatever problems you two are having you make it work."

"I don't want to end it," Juice lit the smoke, his eyes going over Chibs, "I've spent too long trying to work out what we are, is she just my girlfriend? My old lady?" He shrugged.

Chibs patted Juice on the back, "Right now, you're not being a good man to her, and you were good when she was attacked, but now something is going wrong with you, and I think you need to stop pushing her away, and you need to tell her to stop pulling away too." He took a long pull of his smoke, "You two are both young, but it's always a struggle when you first get serious, but soon you'll look back on this phase, you'll look back and be glade it made you stronger." He flicked the butt of the smoke away watching Juice. "I know, because I've been there."

"You said you knew Kelly when she was little," Juice spoke up, "Opie said to me her old man killed himself."

Chibs nodded, "Yeah, she was only nine, it hit her hard." He thought for a second about it looking over Juice, he couldn't understand why he was bringing it up, but his eyes went to the bruise again. "She doesn't like to talk about it, not a nice thought to know that she had to find him either."

"No," Juice flicked his own butt away looking over Chibs, "Maybe I should go to the Fund raiser for a bit," He looked to the door of the barn, "I'll be back when all this goes down."

"You do that son," Chibs patted his shoulder, "Rumour has it she's gonna be singing, she's got a lovely voice." Chibs smiled watching Juice walk away, he shook his head, but in the back of his mind he didn't want to think the worst.

* * *

><p>Gemma smiled looking up to the stage seeing Kelly singing, she paused looking over to see Juice standing away from the table, he had his hands in his pockets watching Kelly with a sad expression on his face.<p>

Getting to her feet Gemma walked over to stand next to Juice, "She sounds good," Her eyes kept focused on her niece, she could tell that people were enjoying her songs. "I'll assume you've come here to talk to her, not just watch." Her eyes were looking over to Juice staring forward.

"I don't know if I can talk to her," Juice felt Kelly's eyes connecting on his, she then closed her eyes carrying on singing, "Gemma."

"Yeah baby?" Gemma turned to face Juice; she could tell he had a lot going on in his mind. "I am not mad at you, a man changes after he does the things you did," She patted his arm, "She still loves you, I know because seeing you two together." She broke into a smile, "It's like looking into my history book."

"What do you mean?" Juice stopped watching Kelly looking over Gemma's face.

He rocked on his feet, Gemma placed a hand on his shoulder, "I know my niece, and she's practically a daughter to me, so when I'm telling you that she loves you. She really does." She let a smile slip watching Clay walk over to them.

"What you doing here Juice?" Clay asked, but his eyes going over to the stage, he smiled to Kelly singing, it was a good thing to have her showing the beautiful side of SAMCRO, he wrapped an arm around Gemma, "Come to admire the show?"

Juice watched Clay, "I thought I'd show my support." He found himself finding it soothing to listen to Kelly sing, he'd not heard her sing in so long, but he used to listen to her sing while in the shower. As she started to sing a song by one of her favourite bands Paramore, he smiled as she was looking at him.

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched, as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promise, I'll never sing of love it does not exist. But darling you are the only exception, you are the only exception, you are the only exception, you are the only exception…"

Gemma watched Kelly singing, "I think we need to go talk to the organiser." She went to pull on Clay's arm hinting them to leave him alone.

"I better get back, I don't want the guys to have all the fun," Juice walked away, getting back on his bike, driving off.

Gemma looked to Clay, "Why do I even bother…"

"Because you want to see Kelly happy," Clay kissed her walking them over to talk to Roosevelt's wife. "Mrs Roosevelt, Excuse me."

"What?" Roosevelt took a step in front of his wife; he looked over to Gemma standing next to her husband.

Clay kept his charm on, "I was hoping I could say a few words to the folks and make a formal donation, Family friendly. I promise" He held up his hands giving her a smile.

Mrs Roosevelt smiled, "Sure," Her eyes going to the stage as Kelly was finishing her song looking to the band. "Your niece was very kind to sing at such short notice," She smiled to Gemma.

"Yup that's my baby; she's always willing to help." Gemma smiled linking arms with Clay watching the band get off the stage, and Kelly walked over to the table sitting next to Tig placing her head on his shoulder.

Tig brushed a hand against her cheek looking as they set up the stage for Clay, "He's a dumbass." He said looking to everyone starting to gather around.

"Why you say that?" Kelly whispered getting to her feet with Tig; she looked up into his eyes seeing that he held that worried expression everyone seemed to wear around her these days.

Tig touched Kelly's face, "You are an amazing woman, any man would be lucky to call you his old lady, but he's just pissing it away." He let her go, "I don't like seeing you upset darling."

Kelly tried to smile, "I know, why I love you Tig," She kissed his cheek looking around, Clay was now getting ready to speak, "I'm gonna head off, I think all that singing has given me a head ache."

"Wait and I'll give you a ride when I take Gemma back." He held her shoulder, but knew that she had her mind set on leaving.

Kelly picked her bag up that had her boots and helmet in, "Sorry, I got to go." She pointed at the stage, "Seems like it's going to be a hell of a speech." Kelly now headed to where she parked her bike, changing shoes and getting on, she already knew where she was heading, but she needed to make a quick detour first.

* * *

><p>Juice walked back to the tree branch, he glanced at the chain that was once around his neck. For a second he studied over the scene, but rushed to the chain pulling it from the branch, he kept looking around himself praying that he could get this over with.<p>

It wasn't until he heard a noise behind him that he notice Chibs standing in the background, "Ah shit," Juice dropped the chain before he turned around; "You scared me man." He looked to Chibs face nervous.

Chibs didn't look happy, he reached down picking up the chain, he felt sick holding it but his eyes going to the bruise on Juice's neck knowing it all added up. He felt like he didn't know who he was looking at as he made a charge at Juice, grabbing his by the collar of his cut shaking him to the ground, "Jesus Christ!" He yelled throwing him to the ground to pick him up and throw him again, "You coward!" He snapped sitting by the tree brushing his hands into his hair.

Curling in on himself Juice started to cry, he felt sick and ashamed of himself, and he couldn't believe the actions he did, but couldn't look at Chibs starting to crawl towards him. "Come son, get up…" Chibs getting to his feet, he held Juice in his arms listening to him crying.

Chibs kept holding onto Juice to the snapped of tree branches to see Kelly standing in the opening, her hands were folded around herself looking to Juice with her eyes welling up. "Ah shit," Chibs felt like crying himself, he could see the pain in her face, feeling the sobs of Juice. "You saw him do it."

Kelly couldn't think of anything to say, she stood back feeling her attention going to the chain still tied to the fallen branch. "I freaked, and I did the same thing as I did back then Chibs. I ran away, it was like being nine all over again."

Juice felt his sobs stop, his eyes going to Kelly slowly stepping towards him, he felt her hand lightly moving around him, he didn't know what to expect feeling her hugging onto his back holding him. "I'm sorry Kelly, I didn't know, I'm so sorry." He cried feeling Chibs turn him to face her.

"You two need to talk, I'll be waiting there," He pointed the way he came; he walked away slowly taking one last look at the couple holding each other.

Juice calmed his tears down, he felt her resting her head against his chest, her arms holding onto him for dear life, "You said you was going to fix it Juan, if I'd known this was your way of fixing things, I would have stopped you," Her eyes looking over his face in the moon light. "Why?" Her voice was weak trying to make sense.

Juice bit his lip, he touched a hand to her cheek, "Kelly, I'm in deep, it's so bad that I thought if I died, if it was over for me, then I'd never have to hurt the club more than I already have." He brushed a hand into her hair, "I never wanted you to witness that."

"No, I've seen one person I care about end their life that way; I never thought you'd do the same thing." She let out a painful laugh, "Funny they say girls fall for guys who remind them of their fathers."

Juice kept brushing his hand into her hair, "I never knew, I just…" He stopped talking seeing her eyes staring at his bruise, "I don't want to die." He whispered softly.

"I don't want you to die, but thinking for them few seconds that you were dead, thinking of the possibility of you being dead." Shaking the thought from her mind Kelly tried to keep calm, but felt the tears falling down her cheeks. "Juan, you can't ever do that again."

"I won't," He held her face, he could still feel his own tears falling down his cheeks, he didn't know what to do keeping her face in his hands. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Kelly pursed her lips looking to the chain, "I want you to know we're going to make it, I don't know how right now, but we're going to get through this together." Her hand moving up to her face taking one of his, she held it tightly in her own hand. "I want a story Juan."

"A story?" Juice asked confused, he moved the hand from her face touching it to her waist.

Kelly nodded, her hand squeezing his again, "Yeah, a story, the kind you tell to your kids when they ask how mommy and daddy meet." She tried to smile through the pain she was feeling. "I want to be able to tell that story. Because my mom never had one, she just told me she met my dad in Miami when she was nineteen…"

"Miami," Juice laughed for a second, it was awkward to think of the times Kelly never really talked of her parents, and it was like she pushed them out of her memory, only to speak of the club as her family.

Kelly nodded, "Yup, all I got." Her thumb brushing over Juice's hand, "But as corny as it sounds, when I have kids, I want them to ask me about their daddy, I want to say that I feel in love with an amazing man, my hero, and he was everything I ever wanted, and most of all he still is." Her hand still in the splint touching the side of his head, "I don't ever want to see you strung up, I don't." Shaking her head, "My father took the cowards way out, he planned it, he made sure my mom and I wasn't in the house, and he strung himself up in the garage." Kelly bit her lip feeling sick thinking of the memory. "And I told Opie I had a cool bike to show him, and I ran home, and I saw him."

"Kelly…" Juice tried to stop her, but she shook her head.

"I saw a man that day, a stranger with my father's face, but he gave up, he had debt and he couldn't handle it, so he took his life, but suicide isn't good when it comes to life insurance, so my mom was left with nothing but his debt and the club stepped up and paid that debt off." Kelly rolled her eyes, "That's when my mom gave up, she stopped caring for me, Gemma was more of my mother than she was, but my mom took us away from Charming to take me away from the club."

Juice brushed her hair back, "I want you to know, what I did was a mistake, and I promise I'll never do that again." He had calmed down, "But you said about a story, I'd like that." He smiled faintly, "But you said about kids, you want that?"

"Someday, not now but someday," Her eyes looking into his, she lightly kissed him, her hand still holding his, "I don't care if you're part black, because you're not your skin colour."

Juice felt his arm around her back pulling her closer to him, he kissed the top of her head, "What do we do now?"

"Well, we clean this mess up, we keep this between me you and Chibs, and no one else needs to know." Her voice calming looking to his eyes, "I kinda had a go at Roosevelt this morning."

"Shit!" Juice stood back, "You didn't tell him I did this?"

"No, I didn't, I just called him a dirty cop, and he should rot in hell," Her eyes studying over his, "But for now, maybe you should take me home," Her voice comforting, touching a small kiss to the bruise, "I need to take care of you," She let his hand drop before untangling the chains, she held it up so he could get a good look at them. "You are stronger than this," Her voice confident. "Now," she starting to walk out of the clearing turning back to Juice, "I think it's time to take your old lady home." She gave him a smile.

"My old lady?" Juice caught up with her, his hand taking hers.

Kelly nodded, "Your old lady," She repeated as they made their way to the van, they see Chibs having a smoke; "I'm taking him home." She threw the chains at his feet, "I don't think I need to say more."

Chibs nodded, "This stays between us three," He flicked the smoke away picking the chain up, "We don't say anything to anyone about it." He added with a serious tone.

Juice nodded, "I think I should take Kelly home, it's late." He kept watching Chibs; he could tell in his eyes he was still disappointed in him.

"Yes," Chibs turned to Kelly, "Take care of him lass,"

Kelly smiled, "I always do Chibs, and I'll call you in the morning." Her hand holding onto Juice's strong, she could tell his bike wasn't here, but hers was. "We'll see you later."

Chibs now watched as Juice got on Kelly's bike, he let her get on the back starting the bike up, all on the ride home he couldn't help but think of the future, even if shit was bad now, he had to think of a better tomorrow.


	10. Loving thing

**AN: **Why hello gentle readers, I am here with another update, plus I am really kicking myself for promising my Sister to watch Sons with her, but I am honering that promise, so I'll try and keep the updates active, next one will be updated Friday or Saturday. It all depends on my work, plus home life shit.  
>Enjoy, and as always reviews are happy sauce.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter ten<strong>  
><em>Loving thing<em>  
><em>

* * *

><p>With another morning, came another long day ahead of him. Juice was lying in bed brushing his hand into Kelly's hair as she slept, it was a comforting feeling to watch her lightly breathing in and out, her hand resting over his heart with her head neatly on his chest. He wished for a way to make everything go away, he couldn't stop thinking. The deepest thoughts made it hard for him to really get any kind of rest, but as he watched her, he found some kind of peace from the mess in his mind.<p>

Kelly hadn't been in his life that long, but in that small amount of time they'd gone through drama, he couldn't believe he cheated on her. While they were only broken up a month, he knew then how much he cared for her. The life Juice chose for himself wasn't a life he saw himself wanting to settle down. With Kelly he wanted it all, but he didn't even know how he was going to make it through the rest of the week. The feeling of not knowing scared him, he knew it was a matter of time before Roosevelt would make another move; Juice had been avoiding Roosevelt's calls. It was a matter of time and time was working again Juice fast.

Love was a strong thing to the club, it was a big factor in why he joined SAMCRO, the brotherhood, being part of a family that if you wasn't a part of it, you didn't understand. It was just that family that brought Kelly into his life and he didn't want to let her go. Juice turned to the nightstand seeing his phone vibrate across as he picked it up, "Hello," He whispered trying to not wake Kelly up.

"Juice," Chibs voice started, he could tell Juice's voice was low, making him try and keep his tone calm. "I think we need to tell Jax what happened."

"I know," Juice replied. He kept the phone close to his ear; he stole glances at Kelly seeing her still deep in sleep. "We can't hide it forever."

"Good, I'll see up the talk with Jax, make sure you're at TM at eleven." Chibs exhaled, "I'd let Kelly know what you're doing, she'll be pretty pissed if she doesn't know." He paused for a few seconds.

"I know," Juice placed a hand over Kelly's squeezing it lightly. "I'll see you soon."

"Okay, I'll see you then Son." The phone went dead and Juice placed his phone back down looking to Kelly slowly stirring out of sleep.

Opening her eyes Kelly could see the expression on Juice's face, her hand moving up his chest resting against his cheek, "Morning." Her voice was a soft whisper feeling him lightly kiss her forehead.

"Morning," Juice looked into her eyes, he brushed her hair back admiring the view, "I need to talk with Jax today." He finally said seeing her face change, "I know you said to keep this secret, but I don't think it's a smart idea."

"If you think that's the right thing to do, I'll go along." She now moved on the bed sitting up, she reached over her nightstand picking up her weed tin.

Juice was taken back, he watched her started to roll her morning joint, but touched her shoulder. "Why do I feel like there is something you want to say, but not telling me?"

Kelly paused, "I," She carried on rolling trying to push the thought out, "Juan you know that if the club knows, if you tell them." She shook her head, "Suicide doesn't fall into good graces when it comes to the club, it's seen as a weakness, and it could lead to you being patched out." Her eyes kept focused on the joint.

"I know," He tried to get her attention, "Kelly, but I ratted, I'm a..."

"Juan," Kelly snapped, her eyes staring at him with such intensity that Juice felt nervous. "How am I going to live if they make you go?"

"How am I going to keep making them believe I got this on security chains?" Juice pointed out his bruise; he could see Kelly glancing away.

Kelly inhaled; she placed her tin back, but didn't speak. Her attention too focused on lighting the joint that Juice took away from her putting out in the ashtray beside his bed. "I don't know what to say Juan!" Her voice rose as she shouted out.

"Kelly," Juice felt his hand moving up her back, he felt her leaning forward, her eyes focused on her hands before covering her face. "I don't know how I am going to start making things right, but this needs to be out."

"I know," Kelly admitting defeat, her hands moving from her face slowly looking at Juice. "You've got to do what's right for the club." Her words honest, she could feel his fingers working on her neck rubbing the tension out.

Juice moved her closer to him, his arm wrapping around her kissing her shoulder, "We gotta start slow," He kept kissing towards her neck, his hand moving around her stomach. "It's not going to be easy."

Kelly turned her head to look at him, his eyes mesmerising her thoughts. With a carefully hand placed to his cheek she lent in kissing Juice, he held her face returning the kiss.

Juice could feel as her hands running up his back while he laid above her, Kelly feeling his hands moving around her waist pulling her closer to him. Kissing deeper Juice felt her pulling away from him. "I think I need to change your dressing," She whispered.

"You know that is the weirdest dirty talk I've heard," Juice brushed a hand into her hair, he could tell she was being serious. "Okay," He rolled off her watching as she got out the bed.

"Well an infection isn't sexy baby," Kelly found the things Tara gave her to clean and dress his leg. "But hey, if you want to smell like shit…"

"I don't," He watched her pulling the sheets off him, Juice glanced up to Kelly's eyes as she took the old dressing off, her finger lightly running over the bullet wound, "Another scar to your long list." She spoke more to herself, her eyes going to his face.

"We all have our scars," Juice sat up, he took her hand pulling her towards him, and he touched her chest where the scar of her operation not so long ago was, "I guess mine are just war wounds."

"Mine are always war wounds," Kelly kissed just about the wound; she got to work cleaning it up and putting a fresh dressing on it.

Juice nodded, "You're just a sucker for lines," He felt her sitting on the bed beside him, her hands touching his face, moving to the tattoo on his head, "You can't even imagine the shit we're going to go through."

"As long as we go through it together," Kelly kissed him getting to her feet. "I need to take a shower, so you better get ready for this meet up." She patted his chest walking into the bathroom.

Juice stood up, he brushed a hand over the fresh dressing, his hand going around his back to feel the scars of where he was stabbed, and everything about that scared him. He walked towards the bathroom standing in the doorway watching Kelly standing in the shower, her hands running over her hair. Smiling as Kelly turned to see him, she giggled continuing to clean herself up.

Taking off his boxers Juice opened the door to the shower cubical. Kelly's eyes looking over him, "I just did your…"

Juice cut her off kissing her, his hands moving around her hips, he felt the water hitting him, but kept the kiss intense. Kelly's hands now running around his back, she kissed back. Juice pushing her against the wall, his hand was moving around her ass grabbing it.

Kelly gasped feeling him push her up the wall, his leg was shaky, but he was Juice forcing it to hold her weight as he pushed himself inside her, their eyes meeting for a few seconds breaking apart the kiss.

Juice held onto her, feeling her kissing his neck, moaning softly in his ear, he couldn't control himself any longer cumming hard as her fingernails dragged through his skin, her feet touching the floor of the shower. "I think we can redress my leg," He said breathlessly, he could see the surprise still in her eyes.

"Yeah," Her voice was shaky; Kelly couldn't feel her knees trying to carry on with her shower as Juice got out wrapping a towel around himself.

Kelly stood in the shower now, it took her a while to be able to finish washing herself, off but she just had to try and keep thinking positive, she needed this to work out.

* * *

><p>Jax wasn't having a good morning; he'd woken up with the memory of talking with Tara about her going away. He knew that he was going to miss her, but he needed to think of her safety and the safety of his boys.<p>

Getting out of bed he quickly answered his phone; he could see Tara was already awake and dealing with Abel and Thomas. "Hey Chibs," Jax replied finding something to throw on.

"I have some shit I need to talk to you about," Chibs started.

Jax moved the phone to the other ear, "Yeah sure, what is it?"

"I think its best you meet me at TM, I'll talk about it more then." Chibs exhaled, he knew this was going to be hard, but he found it better to talk with Jax about it, rather than Clay who'd show Juice no compassion.

Jax looked to the time, "Sure, I'll be there just about eleven, and I got shit to deal with at home first." He pulled some jeans on finding a clean shirt.

"I'll see you then Jacky boy," The phone went dead as Jax threw it on the bed. Pulling a shirt on he turned to see Tara standing in the doorway, "You alright babe?"

"Yeah, I have to go into work, so I have Elyda watching the boys until I get home. Then I'm gonna start packing." She brushed a hand against the vanity table.

Jax nodded, "Sounds good," He picked up his cut putting it on before find his reaper crew cap placing it backwards over his head. "I'll try and catch you some point today." He stepped forward kissing her.

Tara held onto the kiss, her hands working up his shirt holding onto him, "Be safe," She whispered looking into his eyes. Jax brushed a hand against her cheek, he gave a small smile. "I mean it Jax."

"I'll be safe," Jax finally said looking to the door, "But Chibs called, so I think he wants to run something important by me." He ran his hand from her face to her hair. "Things will work out for us Tara."

Tara smiled, "I hope so," She listened to the sound of Thomas starting to cry, she rolled her eyes. "I better see to that." She stepped away going back to the kitchen.

Jax followed her, "I'll be at TM if you need me," He kissed her cheek before kissing Thomas, finally going to Abel giving him a kiss on the top of the head. "Be good." He said to Abel before grabbing his keys and headed out the door.

Getting to TM Jax got off his bike heading for the garage Jax saw Chibs standing with Juice; he looked over both of them, "What's going on?" He asked watching Chibs taking his sunglasses off.

Chibs never look so serious before, "I need some advice from you brother." He said quietly.

Chibs moved over to Juice pulling the collar of his cut down to reveal the bruising on Juice's neck. Jax felt confused looking from Chibs to Juice's neck again. "What about it?" He asked not sure where this was going. "I thought you caught it on security chains at Oswald's?" He asked, but slowly he felt something falling into place. He could see the pain in Juice's eyes, the look of shame, he thought about how weird Kelly had been acting, everything making more sense, "Oh shit Juice!" He couldn't believe it.

"I don't know what happened man," Juice started, he couldn't stop feeling sick with himself, but he couldn't back out now. "I guess doing the time, the other MC we got rid of, Miles…" He exhaled, he couldn't look at Jax, and he could feel his eyes staring at him.

Chibs stepped closer to Jax, "I'm not sure how you handle this." He said getting Jax's attention, he knew this was serious, but he wanted to make sure it was out.

"It was a mistake," Juice cut in, he tried to keep himself together, he had to do everything he could to make Jax see that. "I know that," He added trying all he could to not break down again.

Jax nodded, "Give us a minute." He kept himself calm, but in his mind he couldn't stop thinking over all the things that were wrong about the situation.

Juice nodded, he walked away, but he knew that Jax was going to be talking over his fate with Chibs, his eyes going to the Club House where Kelly was, he told her she couldn't be involved with any of this, but wished she was with him now.

Jax watched him walking, his attention on Chibs, "Jesus Christ!" He felt sick.

"I found him at Oswald's trying to hide the evidence," Chibs said looking to Juice standing by a car; he couldn't forget what he saw, what he knew Kelly saw.

Shaking his head Jax focused more of Chibs now, "Sons don't kill themselves." He started, but Jax knew it had to be said. "Clubs gonna vote him out, no one is going to trust him." He tried to be as diplomatic as possible about the whole thing.

"I know," Chibs felt bad, he kept still.

Jax nodded, "And you do?" He asked, he had a feeling Chibs came to him for a reason, the biggest thing right now was trying to keep the club safe.

"My first kill for the Irish. Young constable in Omagh. My age. Me and him could have been classmates. I put two bullets in the back of that boy's head. Never even seen it coming. Shit broke me, Jackie. Came close to swinging from the tree myself." Chibs watched Jax's face.

Jax felt helpless now, "Well there's a big difference from thinking about it, and doing it." He felt his eyes going back to Juice, the man looked defeated, and it was horrible to think of everything that's happened because of it. "Did he know about Kelly's old man?" He asked giving his attention back to Chibs.

"No he didn't," Chibs replied, "But Kelly witness him doing it," He felt bad telling Jax this information.

Jax closed his eyes pitching the bridge of his nose, "Shit!" He now opened his eyes seeing Chibs studying him. "Explains why Kelly's been edgy lately," He inhaled the last of his smoke flicking it away.

"Ey," Chibs nodded, "But we've got to get Clay to take him off this Cartel shit." His voice demanding, he couldn't stress the point even more.

Jax nodded, "I'll do what I can." He found himself feeling sick with today already. "Get Juice; tell him to make himself busy here, the sheriff's pulled out the Club House, he can start checking for bugs."

"Yeah," Chibs nodded, "And what are you going to do now?" He asked watching Jax heading out of the Garage towards the Club House.

Jax turned to face Chibs walking backwards, "I'm going to see if my cousin's okay." He pulled his cap around, "This shit had to have stirred up old shit she buried years ago." He carried on walking looking to Juice; he didn't know what to say.

"Jax I didn't know…" He said in his defence. Juice could tell that Jax's relationship with Kelly was deep. Jax saw Kelly like a sister, and Juice did something to really hurt her, it must have some back lash to Jax.

Standing in the Club House Jax scanned around for Kelly, he could see her bag on the bar, but stepped closer checking behind to see she wasn't there, "Yo Kelly!" He shouted loudly, but got no reply.

Kelly stepping out of the Chapel with her earbuds in, she had a bag of rubbish in hand completely blank to the world. Jax stepping over to her pulling one of her earbuds out, "Kelly," Jax repeated hearing the music blaring from the earbud that was just in her ear. "We need to talk."

"We do?" Kelly felt him taking the rubbish bag from her; he placed it on the floor taking the other earbud out. Kelly reaching into her pocket turning her iPod off, she felt awkward looking over Jax.

Standing still Jax nodded, "You knew about this shit with Juice," He watched her face falling. "Yeah I thought so." He watched as she slipped down onto a chair playing her hands into her hair. "Kelly," he sat with her placing his hands over hers moving them from her hair. "You should have talked to me, to Opie."

"And what do I say," Her eyes looking up, "Hey I saw Juan trying to kill himself." Her voice dropped, "It's fucked up Jax."

Jax exhaled, "I know, but you've got to stop keeping shit to yourself Kelly," He glanced over the prospect patch she wore, "You want to be part of this club; you've got to talk to us when shit happens."

"You mean like you telling everyone how you and Tara are planning on leaving?" Her eyes staring at him, she could tell it hit home as he brushed his hand over his beard. "I thought so, no one else knows."

"Kelly how did you know that?" Jax felt himself trying to control his voice, but felt he was worried about how much Kelly was keeping to herself.

Trying to ignore his tone Kelly shrugged, "I went to her office, I was going to ask her about ways to hide my scar, and I found paperwork on her desk." She brushed her hands on the table looking to Jax, "And I can clearly see you and her are not having any problems, plus with you acting the way you are." She tapped the table. "So are you really leaving?"

"I'm going to do something for my family," Jax finally said, he could see the disappointment in her eyes, "Kelly, if you was smart in anyway, you'd take this as a sign to do the same." He touched her hand, for a second seeing so much of his own mother in her eyes. "You were right when you told me this club isn't what it was meant to be." He squeezed her fingers. "I just want you to think about it."

Kelly nodded, "And what about Juan?" She asked looking over Jax's face, "Are you going to vote him out?"

Jax let her hands go, he didn't know how to answer the question, "What he did Kelly was stupid, he was selfish." He moved his hand touching her face, "Kelly, I know you're upset, I guess it explains why you went to Opie that night." He let her face go. "Did you tell him?"

"No, I didn't tell anyone," She now felt sick again. "I was just holding him to a thirteen year old promise."

"You know it still stands with me, you're always open to talk to me about anything, I just guess with all my shit going on." He stopped seeing her eyes looking away. "Kelly, I hope this hasn't stirred up shit you didn't want to remember."

Kelly shook her head, "He's not my dad," Kelly whispered, "Juan was just scared, and he didn't think." Her lips pursed as she got to her feet heading to her bag, she took out a smoke offering one to Jax. "I'm not nine, so I don't need to be cuddled and told everything will be okay."

Jax got up walking over to her; he pulled her into his arms holding her close against his chest, "Kelly, if you think I'm going to believe that." He looked down into her eyes. "I'll try and do this right, but for now I can't make any promises." He glanced up to see Juice walking into the club house, he was holding a box. "Just go over every inch of the place, make sure they haven't planted anything."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Juice placed the box down, his eyes going to Kelly wrapped in Jax's arms.

Letting Kelly go Jax kissed her forehead, "Remember, anything." He walked towards Juice staring him down. "Just don't think of making that mistake again." He headed out leaving Kelly and Juice alone in silence.

* * *

><p>Roosevelt had reached his breaking point; he'd been phoning Juice for too long, he knew that he had to do something as he glanced to the burners on the passenger seat of his car. He got to the Club house parking the car just in time to see Juice walking out of the garage holding a box in his hand. He opened the door to see that Kelly was beside him, both their eyes meeting him.<p>

"Your guys already left. The crime scenes down." Juice said keeping close to Kelly.

Roosevelt stepped closer, "Ah I know, this is just a follow up," He kept switching his attention from Juice to Kelly. Kelly looking seriously pissed off. He took his sunglasses off, his attention to Kelly, "You care to give us a minute?"

"Anything you're going to say to Juan, you can say with me here." Kelly's words harsh, but she gave Juice a look to tell him he had no say in the matter.

Juice exhaled, "Kelly…" He watched her eyes, "Please."

Roosevelt watched as Kelly looked annoyed, but she pointed in Roosevelt's face, "I'm going to be watching you." She took her hand back turning to Juice, touching his face softly. "You don't give him shit." She kissed his cheek letting his face go walking away.

"You have got to pick up the phone when I call you Juice!" Roosevelt snapped when Kelly was out of ear shot, he could see her standing by his car looking to the gates. He placed the bag in his hand into the box, "There are six disposable burners in there. I know you're responsible for the clubs communications."

Juice glanced to the bag, he moved the box to rest on his forearm taking the bag dropping it on the ground, and he glanced over to Kelly watching them. "I'm done." He didn't have any fight in him, but he had enough to do this. "I can't do this anymore." He whispered trying to make sure Kelly couldn't hear.

Roosevelt kept still, his eyes looking over Juice for a second; he now noticed the bruising on his throat, the look in his eyes, and turning to see Kelly leaning on the car with a look that could kill. "Jesus Christ what did you do?" He asked. He knew it was his fault, and now Juice was breaking apart because of the shit Roosevelt put him in.

Juice's eyes went from Roosevelt to Kelly, he could tell she had that look in her eyes, but he turned back to Roosevelt, "Tell them I want out." He kept serious, but he knew this wasn't going to be a simple thing.

Roosevelt watched as Juice started to walk away, he felt worse seeing Kelly take the box from him putting it on the ground. She hugged Juice, Kelly hands wrapping around his neck, her face buried in Juice's chest as he rested his face into her hair.

Watching the way Kelly was comforting Juice made Roosevelt feel guilty, he knew from the start what he was doing was going to be dirty, but seeing how much it pushed Juice to the point of wanting to be dead. He was a dirty cop now; everything he prided himself on was washed down the drain.

Kelly took a step back from Juice, her hand brushing against his chest, "I'm going to talk to Roosevelt." Her voice calming, but Juice glanced back to Roosevelt heading to his car. "I need to do this."

"Okay," Juice picked the box back up, he watched as Kelly walked over to Roosevelt quickly. He didn't want to be that officer right now.

Roosevelt had picked the bag up; he headed over to Kelly seeing the anger still burning in her eyes. "Is that what you were telling me the other day?"

Kelly put her hands into her pockets glancing back to Juice, "Yeah," She nodded, "He took a chain, strung one end to a tree branch the other around his throat, and jumped." She bit her lip, "Just in time for me to see him hanging." Her eyes were looking stone cold.

Roosevelt reached for his sunglasses, "I didn't know, I thought…"

"Well you thought wrong!" Kelly cut him off, taking her hands from her pockets her voice turned dark. "You thank your lucky stars that branch broke, because if he did die that night." Her eyes were glaring into his. "I'd be coming for your head."

"Threatening a sheriff," Roosevelt kept his cool, "You know that is a serious offence." He pointed out, but he could tell she wasn't scared.

"And committing an act of entrapment, putting all your hooks into Juan, making sure you play good puppet master to some higher boss." Kelly nodded her head, "You're right I would do some time, but if I do time, I'll make my statement against you and make sure you lose that shiny badge you hide behind." Her hand reached out brushing his shoulder. "I've got no prior convictions, my name is clean." Her eyes meeting his, "So anything you do, I'll make sure I'll remember every detail to protect my man from going down." She smiled sweetly, "Because if he goes down, I'll make sure you're going down with him."

Watching her eyes Roosevelt took a step back, he didn't know how cold she could be, but his eyes looking up to Juice he felt nervous, "I'd be careful."

"I'll be practicing my speech," Kelly took a step back, "Because I'm just a concerned citizen, worried about the quality of the law enforcement." Walking backwards Kelly watched as Roosevelt got into his car, he quickly sped out of the gated as she exhaled feeling Juice behind her.

"What did you say to him?" Juice turned to see where Roosevelt's car went, back to Kelly's face looking worried.

Kelly exhaled, "I just let him know what I know, and whatever he plans for you, I'll be ready to take him down." She touched his face, Juice could see what she said to Roosevelt must have really spooked him. "I take care of my family." Her voice was sounding just like Gemma as she smirked.

* * *

><p>Knowing Juice would be busy, Kelly took this time to go to the cabin. It had been a long while since Piney checked in on her, she was growing used to his daily phone calls, but somehow today she didn't get one. She tried calling him so many times, but the last time she called something felt wrong.<p>

Remembering the request, telling her if something happened to him. Kelly wanted it to be an old man being paranoid, but she couldn't push the thought that maybe he was right. She parked her bike looking over the outside, she took her helmet off getting off the bike, she could see Piney's bike, and she knew he had to be home as she headed to the door.

The door was open; well it was open enough to let Kelly know that something wasn't right. She kept her riding gloves on pushing the door open more, her face looking around. It was a slap in the face to see the blood on the wall, her eyes following it to Piney's dead body lying on the ground.

His stomach blown open, his face covered in blood. Kelly grabbed her mouth letting a small scream escape her; she ran to his body, her hands stopping inches from his face, she fell to her knees. "Piney…" She whispered. Her eyes not taking in what she was seeing, "Oh god Piney!" Kelly felt the tears starting to stream down her face, getting to her feet she felt her stomach churning as she made a dash to the kitchen sink feeling her breakfast repeating on her.

Gemma pulled up to the cabin, she didn't think much, but paused seeing Kelly's bike parked outside. Getting out the car she made her way to the open front door. Peaking her head in the doorway she could see Piney lying dead. She walked across the room, she couldn't control herself, her eyes looking around not seeing anyone else, her hand touching Piney's oxygen tank bag, her eyes looking back to Piney. "I told you!" She shouted, "God Damn it I told you!" She kept yelling at Piney's body as if he was still there listening, "You stupid old man!" Her hand was touching her face as she fell onto a chair. "Shit," She muttered starting to cry, but her crying was cut short seeing Kelly standing in the kitchen archway. "God Kelly," She couldn't believe it, she looked at tears were streaming her face, her hair looked a mess. "Kelly what are you doing here?"

"I was worried about Piney," Her voice shaken up, she stepped around the body getting closer to Gemma; she could still taste the vomit in her mouth. "I shouldn't have given him the letters…"

It was like a blow to the stomach, Gemma was quick to her feet rushing over to Kelly grabbing her but the scruff of her prospect cut. "Kelly what have you done?" Gemma shouted in her niece's face. "Why!"

Kelly broke down again, she'd never seen Gemma this mad at her before, but she kept crying. "He asked me to get them, he asked me to get them from Tara's office. I didn't know what they were. Gemma…"

"Kelly, please tell me you didn't read them." Gemma felt her hands dropping Kelly, her eyes searching her niece's for an explanation.

Shaking her head Kelly was terrified now, "No, I haven't, Piney told me to hide them..."

"What do you mean hide them?" Gemma brushed Kelly's hair from her face, her niece was still sobbing. Kelly wouldn't stop looking to Piney's body. "Kelly, do you have the letters?" Gemma turned to see Kelly's focus more on Piney, she took a step back finding a blanket, and she threw it over Piney's body before facing Kelly again. "You need to tell me Kelly."

"Piney told me, he said if anything happened to him, that I should give the letters to Opie," Her words breaking through her cries, she couldn't stomach the thought of having Opie know his father was murdered, and worst of all she knew it had to be Clay.

Getting herself together Gemma inhaled and exhaled, her hands on Kelly's shoulder holding her still, "Kelly, you need to give me them letter." She stopped seeing how Kelly shook her head.

"No," Kelly felt sick, "Piney warned me, he said about something happening to him, he warned me of Clay…"

Gemma was frozen, "Kelly listen to me!" She snapped getting her niece's attention. "This is bad shit," Her eyes searching Kelly's eyes, Gemma knew that Kelly knew too much, if Piney warned her of Clay, then he put Kelly in danger. "You need to bring me the letters, and you never talk about this, you don't know this." Her hand brushing Kelly's hair back more, "You were never here Kelly, you don't know Piney's dead, you don't tell anyone you were here." Her voice was trying to sooth Kelly.

"Gemma, why are you protecting Clay?" Her voice rough, her hands moving Gemma's from her shoulders taking a step back. "This is all to do with JT's death," Her hand going to her mouth shaking her head. "I am sick and tired of knowing every ones shit!" She stormed out of the cabin, she ran to her bike picking the helmet up putting it on.

Gemma ran after Kelly, she grabbed her shoulder's forcing Kelly to look at her. "Please, if you have any idea the trouble you knowing this could do Kelly." Gemma's eyes staring into hers. "You need to bring me those letters."

Kelly revved her bike up, she watched Gemma taking a step back from her, "Gemma," She felt defeated. "I'll bring them by your house tonight." She now sped off; she didn't look back feeling a headache coming on. Why did she have to be the one to know too much?

* * *

><p>The club house was silent when Chibs walked in, they had another shitty day. Not sure what else to do, Chibs could see Kelly sitting alone at a table. An open laptop was in front of her, and a joint in her hand, "You alright lass?" Chibs asked putting a hand to her shoulder.<p>

Kelly had enough time to calm herself down; she inhaled some of the joint passing it to Chibs. He took it sitting at the table with her. "I'm good," She exhaled the smoke watching Chibs taking a pull.

"Where's Juicy boy?" Chibs took small pulls of the joint passing it back to her, he glanced to the laptop monitor to see Kelly had been writing things down in a word document.

Closing the laptop down Kelly faced Chibs, "I don't know." She answered honestly; she hadn't seen Juice since their confrontation with Roosevelt that afternoon.

"Shit," Chibs got up; he quickly brushed a hand on Kelly's shoulder. "You sure something isn't bothering you?"

It was hard for Kelly to really look Chibs in the eye, she'd known this man for so long, he was one of the men of the club to step up and look after her after her father killed himself, but lying to everyone was making her feel more distant. "No," Kelly shook her head lightly, "I've just been having a rough three weeks. We've all had a rough three weeks."

"Ey," Chibs rubbed her shoulder, he lent down kissing the top of her head giving her one more look over. "Love you darling."

"Love you too," Kelly watched him walking away; he was asking more people if they'd seen Juice. Kelly reached for her cell phone; she dialled his number, but again it going straight to voice mail.

* * *

><p>It was late when Opie heard the knock on his bedroom door, he moved in the bed looking through the darkness. "Come in." He called seeing the door opening slowly. He exhaled seeing as Kelly stepped in, he reached over turning a lamp on, "Why you still here?" He asked sitting up.<p>

"I thought Juan would meet me," She stood awkwardly in front of the bed, she could tell Opie was worried about her, but looking at him made her feel worse about the fact she knew his father way dead. "I didn't want to be alone," Kelly whispered softly.

Opie gave her a soft smile, "Sure, you can stay here." He got out the bed; he walked over to a dresser getting out a T-shirt handing it to her, "Everything okay with you and Juice?"

"Yeah," Kelly took the T-shirt off Opie looking to the bathroom; she placed her purse on the desk walking in shutting the door behind her.

Opie getting back in the bed was thinking over, he didn't really understand what was going through Juice's mind; he exhaled watching the bathroom door open and Kelly stepping out. "I guess you guys had a busy day." Kelly said getting into the bed as Opie moved over, he wrapped his arm around Kelly.

"You could say that," He looked down into her eyes; he could tell something was bothering her; he couldn't put his finger on it. "You've grown up so fast, only feels like yesterday you was running through my sprinklers." He brushed her hair back.

"I had to grow up Ope," Kelly let out a yawn, "We all grew up." Her hand was brushing into his hair looking into his eyes. "Thank you again for letting me stay here."

"Sure," Opie felt her rolling over, she placed her head on the pillow, and he watched her for a second reaching over to turn the lamp off.

Kelly closed her eyes, she felt Opie lying down drifting off into sleep, but she rolled over to look at him in the darkness, it was the hardest thing in the world not to tell him what she knew, but glancing over to her purse, was she will to do what Piney told her to do. Kelly didn't know, but she knew that Opie was going to know his father is dead, she just hoped that it wouldn't lead to Opie's downfall.


	11. The bad hand

**AN: **I want to say a big sorry for the late update, I have been having the worst case of writers block on the planet, plus I've been spending a lot of time with this guy that I like, so it's hard for me to keep on top of my writing and hanging out.  
>Hope you forgive me for the shortness of this chapter, but I thought it was better than nothing, hoping the next one will be longer.<br>As always read and review, and I'll try and have the next update up in no time...

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter eleven<br>****_The bad hand_

* * *

><p>Gemma watched as Kelly's bike rode behind her car, she'd parked in the drive of Jax and Tara place seeing Kelly parking up also. "What brings you here?" Gemma asked taking her sunglasses off.<p>

"Tara going out of town," Kelly shrugged, "I guess I thought I'd see her off. That I've got shit else to do today." Taking her helmet and riding gloves off Kelly looked over Gemma. "You okay?" She asked worried.

"Yeah," Gemma ran a hand into her hair looking to the house, "Going to be weird without Tara about." She added watching Kelly placing her bike helmet on the handle bars.

Kelly shrugged, "Jax thinks it's for the best, so I can't disagree with it." Walking beside Gemma to the front door, Gemma was using her key to get inside and Kelly followed.

Walking through the front door Gemma can see Jax and Tara, "Hey baby," She said seeing Jax with a car seat, Gemma just felt happy to catch Tara before she left.

"Hey mom, what you doing here?" He glanced behind her seeing Kelly, "And you?"

Kelly gave an awkward wave walking in closing the door behind herself, "Thought I'd say my goodbyes." Kelly kept behind Gemma as they all headed towards the kitchen.

"Well you're taking my grandsons on a one way trip to Oregon, you think I'm not going to stop by to say goodbye." Gemma placed her bag down on the table.

Tara stepping in behind Kelly, "It's only going to four or five days." She pointed out while still holding Thomas, her eyes going over Kelly as she rested against the countertop.

"So where's Elyda?" Gemma asked, she kept looking around in case she missed her, but she had a strong feeling she wasn't here.

"I'm actually going to take up Tara and the boys," He said cleaning around the kitchen, "Turn it into a little family vacation." Jax added with a smile looking to Kelly looking surprised. "With the way things have been going Kelly; I think you should take Juice on one too."

"Yeah, that's if I see him longer than five minutes to bring up the idea." Kelly exhaled looking to Gemma's face, "You sure you're okay?"

Gemma shocked her head, her attention back on Jax, "Does Clay know you're going?" She asked, she kept thinking back to the safe, the money that Clay took out, and the sinking feeling that something bad was going to happen.

Jax exhaled, "You can let him know when we've left. We've got stuff with the Irish. I'll be back the day after tomorrow."

"What about the Mexican?" Gemma took a step forward, she knew now that Kelly was watching her like a hawk, her eyes slowly looking over to Tara. Kelly didn't like this, but Gemma was being very weird today.

"Nothing for us to do, it's an internal beef that we've been told to stay out of it." He reached over picking things up.

Tara kept feeling Kelly's eyes on her, but moved Thomas lifting him up, "Say goodbye to Granma…" Her voice was sweet passing Thomas to Gemma.

"Ahh Hello baby," Gemma sounded kind, but Kelly could tell something was there.

Kelly moved her eyes going to Jax for a second, "Before you run off, can I have a word?" She nudged her head to the hallways and Jax nodded following her out walking to the living room.

Jax took a step back looking over Kelly, "So what you need to talk about?" He felt the need to ask if it was Juice, but he tell from her eyes that it was Juice.

"I guess it's all this Cartel shit, and you said about me and Juan going away for a bit." Kelly exhaled, "Are you sure it's wise for me and Juan to take off?" She kept her tone natural, but couldn't help but feel herself slipping.

"After what he's been through, Kelly you need to get him away, take him someplace he can clear his head." Jax reached over touching Kelly's shoulder, "I know you two are going through a rough patch, and I wished for everything I could give some great insight to make it better, but I don't." He felt her eyes dropping to the floor. Jax brushed his hand under Kelly's chin making her look at him. "I'm not planning on saying anything to anyone about what he did right now." He exhaled, "So, I'm speaking as VP, take Juice, go somewhere just the two of you and just forget all this shit."

"Okay, when I next see him, I'll bring it up." Kelly bit her lip, "For now I'm going to head back to Juan's and my place to try and see if I can find someplace for us to go a few days." She patted Jax's shoulder. "Buy me a souvenir."

With a chuckle Jax kissed Kelly's cheek, "I'll see what I can do." He smiled brushing a hand into her hair, "I mean it Kelly, you and Juice get away from here." He exhaled watching her smile.

"I'll do that," She took her keys from her pocket, "Be safe Jax."

"You too Kelly," Jax watched Kelly heading out the door; he knew that he was going to be fine, but with Kelly he wasn't so sure.

* * *

><p>So many things were going through Juice's head as he stepped into the apartment, he couldn't think where to start, but first he wanted to take a shower and wash the dirty feeling off himself. Walking into the bathroom he headed for the shower cubical, but turned to see Kelly standing in the doorway, "I was taken in for another…"<p>

"I know it wasn't that Juan," Kelly lent on the doorframe, "I went to the station this morning and you wasn't there, they said they released you." Kelly waved her hand studying over Juice, "So what's going on?" She asked trying to keep a level tone.

"Yeah, I needed to think, I…" He exhaled stepping towards Kelly, his hands reaching out touching her face. "I should have called you, but my head was all over the place, it's still not right." Juice felt Kelly holding onto him.

"It's okay baby," Kelly's voice was soothing, her hands running up and down his back, "Jax told me that we should get away for a few days." Her eyes were looking up into his eyes seeing the worry. "Juan, we should go, we need to get away for a few days and get a game plan."

Juice took a step back, this was the hardest thing. "We can't go anywhere Kelly." He now watched as Kelly's face looked concern. "I just need to try and prove to Jax that I'm not losing my footing."

Kelly bit her lip; she could tell this was something that was going to take some working on. "Fine," She exhaled running her hands into her hair.

Juice felt confused, "Fine?" He asked trying to work out the hidden meaning behind the simple word, "Fine that we don't go anywhere?"

"Fine," Kelly repeated, her hands moved to her pockets, her eyes looking around the bathroom, "I'll let you shower; I just popped by to pick some things up."

He didn't know what she meant, it was hard to feel any stability in his life, but when it came to Kelly she was the only constant to him. "Are you staying somewhere else?" He asked scared to hear the answer.

"I crashed at the compound again," Kelly nodded, "And with Jax going out of town." For a second Kelly stood still, she could tell what she was saying was frightening Juice. "I think we're hitting a hard place Juan. I'm not sure where we're going."

Juice inhaled, he took a step forward brushing his hands into her hair, and his eyes fixed on her with such an intensity he didn't know what he was going to do. "Don't leave me," His words were simple.

"I don't want to leave you Juan I don't." Kelly started as Juice pulled her into a hug, but her whole body felt weak in his arms. "It's just too much, everything it's scaring me." Her words haunting, but Juice could tell it was getting to the make or break point.

Letting Kelly go Juice brushed a few stray hairs behind her ear, "If this is what you have to do…" He hesitated, but he knew something had to give. "I'll let you choose whatever you do, just don't leave me."

It was the hardest thing; Kelly felt the weight of the world on her, "Juan." Her voice was softer, her hands reached out taking his. "I'm not bailing out on you," She whispered softly, her feet moving her closer to him. "I couldn't leave you if I tried." Her forehead resting on his, she felt his finger holding onto hers tightly. "I love you too much to walk out of this."

Juice wrapped her up in his arms; he felt her head resting neatly on his chest. For a few seconds he closed his eyes feeling her holding onto him tight. "I'm going to need you more than ever Kelly." His words horse, but Kelly couldn't help but bit her lip feeling the weight of all the secrets she kept.

"I'm not going anywhere Juan," She whispered pulling away from him. While her eyes searched his for any doubt, but it would never come. "We've got to get through this," He fingers moved over his cheek brushing softly.

"So what were you going to do?" He asked her, he could see from her face she had a lot on her mind.

Kelly placed her hands in her pockets rocking on her feet, "Nothing much." She exhaled looking up to his eyes. "I've just got a lot of crap to get through." Kelly added looking to the shower, "So I'm going to do that and I'll see you at the Club house later." She felt weird touching a hand to his chest backing out of the room.

"Yeah," Juice knew he still wanted to get the shower over and done with; he placed a hand to Kelly's cheek looking into her eyes. "I'll see you later." He whispered giving her one last kiss watching her walking out of the apartment.

* * *

><p>Kelly moved through the hospital fast, it was one of the scariest moments as she found herself looking for the right room. Tara had grown on Kelly, it was hard for Kelly to even hate Tara, but hearing about someone trying to take her brought fear from Kelly's past that made her need to see Tara.<p>

Seeing Margret exiting with another doctor, Kelly made a sharp stop, "Is she going to be okay?" Kelly asked Margret studying over the door clearly worried.

"We're going to be prepping her for surgery soon," Margret's voice was distressed, she couldn't believe what had happened to Tara, but looking over Kelly's eyes she could tell the girl was worried. "You can see her before we take her down to the O.R."

"Thank you," Kelly slipped by, she opened the door to see Tara staring at an x-ray of her hand, and Kelly could see it didn't look good.

Tara's eyes moved from the x-ray, her eyes studying over Kelly, "I don't know what's going to happen Kelly." She didn't even know what possessed her to say it, but the question was already written on Kelly's face.

"I just heard from Jax," Kelly moved into the room, she sat on the bed looking over Tara's face, "I mean what happened to you?"

Tara tried not to cry, but her eyes were welling up. "It was so fast, like every second of it felt like it was happening to someone else, not me." Tara blinked as tears fell from her face. "I'm not even sure what's going to happen now."

Kelly moved on the bed, her arms wrapped around Tara holding her lightly, she didn't want to hurt her anyone than she already was hurting. "I can't believe everything that's happening." She inhaled, her eyes looking over Tara, a part of her didn't like the feeling brewing in her stomach. She felt sick, and has been feeling sick for too long.

"I'm a VP's old lady," Tara starting with her voice shaking. "What next Kelly, my sons, my little boys are everything to me." Her tears falling down her face, she knew it was never going to be easy.

"Tara," Kelly brushed her hand over Tara's hair, she felt a lump in her throat. "I just…"

"No," Tara replied cutting Kelly off, her good hand touching Kelly's face, "If I can give you any sound advice. It would be to run, run and don't look back." Her voice was scared; Tara didn't want Kelly involved in the club. Everything she read from John Teller's letters, the way Gemma had been acting today. Everything was harder to push away.

"I can't run Tara," Kelly felt nervous speaking, but she bit her lip looking to the door. "Juan, he's become a big part of my life, and he won't leave."

"No, I guess he won't." Tara said touching Kelly's hand, she looked up to the woman Kelly had become, everything she never thought Kelly would be. "If you could stop loving him, would you?"

"I don't see that as an option Tara." Kelly said looking into Tara's eyes; the nerves were making her stomach knot up, her hands resting on her thighs. "There is nothing else in this world that can make me feel how Juan makes me feel."

"Yeah," Tara felt her eyes going to her hand, back to Kelly's face. "We're hopeless to the men who win our hearts…" She laughed thinking about how she was always going to be a fool for Jax.

Kelly tapped Tara's hand, "I guess you're going to be going into surgery soon." Kelly got to her feet looking around the room, finally her eyes falling on the x-ray. "I'd wish you luck, but I'm not one to much believe in that."

"I know what you mean," Tara's attention turned to the door as it opened, two nurses entering the room.

One of them smiled to Kelly, "We'll be prepping Doctor Knowles for surgery, you can wait in the waiting room, but we don't know how long she'll be in the O.R for."

Kelly exhaled; she walked over to Tara giving her a light kiss on the forehead. "I'll be waiting for you to come out of the O.R."

Tara nodded, "Okay," She watched Kelly leaving the room, she closed her eyes for a few seconds taking in the hopeless feeling of not knowing what was going to happen now. There was a big chance of nerve damage to her hand. That damage would determine if she'd ever preform another surgery ever again.

Kelly wondered through the halls of Saint Thomas, she kept thinking over the little things. It didn't feel like a month had passed, but since coming back from New York everything felt like one big blur of events.

Walking into the quiet chapel Kelly sat down looking up to the candles, her hands running through her hair feeling all the stress she was carrying. Her mind was going to what was worth hiding. Remember the look of the cabin, Piney dead, the letters, and most of all Tara and Jax planning on leaving.

While these thoughts plagued her, Kelly brushed her hand into her pocket taking out her cell phone; she glanced over the screen seeing the date. It wasn't a hard truth, but a thought she'd not thought about in a long time. Kelly touched her own face; she couldn't stop feeling the blink of tears behind her eyelid before she stood to her feet feeling that familiar sick feeling rising in her chest.

* * *

><p>Juice didn't like the feeling sinking in his chest when he heard about Tara, but he knew that for all purposes he needed to keep up a front, he had to act like everything was normal. Well as normal as anything could be as he followed everyone into the hospital.<p>

Starting to hate the sight of the place, he kept close to everyone, it was worse seeing Roosevelt come into view.

"Oh Christ!" Bobby snapped before anyone else could talk, he kept close to the group, but even Juice could see the sad expression on Roosevelt's face.

Roosevelt exhaled, "I see you found your lost friend." His voice calm, but he could tell they were all keeping a protective circle around Juice.

Chibs took a step forward, he didn't like Roosevelt, and he had a reason that he might be behind something. "Ey, no thanks to you." He muttered in a distasteful tone.

"Give me a minute?" Roosevelt's attention on Juice, he could feel all the other men glaring at him, it wasn't in his nature to be intimidated by a large group, but he felt every ones hateful glare.

"Back off!" Tig barked, he knew that whatever was going on, it was something that was tearing his family apart, making everything more complicated.

Juice knew these men would stand by him, but not all of them knew the full story, "It's cool." He patted Chibs shoulder, he didn't want a scene, plus he knew after this he would need to find Kelly anyway. "I'll be right there."

Roosevelt watched as all the other members started to walk away, they left only himself and Juice. He looked to the other man knowing all the crap he was being pulled through, all the stuff he had yet to do.

Both men took a step to one side, Juice kept watching Roosevelt waiting for him to say something, anything to get this conversation over with. "What do you want?" Juice finally snapped. He kept a look out in case Kelly would walk by.

"I want to apologise. I am getting tossed around by this TH as much as you. The way I've conducted myself, I'm sorry." Roosevelt spoke softly, he could see the hesitation in Juice, and knew it was harder on him.

"A little late for that now," Juice said, he kept looking around the hospital corridors. The feeling of always being on the lookout, and always feeling like he's being watched.

"Doesn't mean I can man up and tell you I was wrong," Roosevelt added, he kept trying with all his might not to stare at the violent bruise on Juice's neck.

Juice exhaled, "Yeah, okay." He tried to calm himself down now to listen to Roosevelt.

"I know what happened to Tara; if she needs anything let me know." Roosevelt kept looking over Juice's face.

Juice glanced down the hall to see Kelly walking out of a room, her face looked pale as she spotted Juice with Roosevelt making her way over. "What do you want?" Her voice was rough.

"Kelly, I've got it handled," Juice pulled her close to him as she made her way over, "He's worried about Tara."

Kelly bit her lip looking to Roosevelt; she had too much on her own plate to be worried about him. "Well she's out of surgery. It doesn't look good…" Her voice drifted off, she looked up to Juice face.

Roosevelt exhaled, "Just remember, anything…" He walked away from the couple, he didn't know it for sure, but he could tell that what has been happening with Juice. It had a big strain on his relationship with Kelly.

Juice brushed a hand into Kelly's hair, "You okay babe?" He asked looking down to her eyes; he could always tell when something was bothering her.

Kelly nodded, "Yeah, just everything that's going on, the stress is finally making me feel sick." Her hand brushed down his arm; she didn't want to give him more to worry about as she glanced to where Roosevelt went. "So we are going to talk about that? Or avoid it like we've been doing most things?"

"I can't talk about it right now Kelly," Juice ran a hand into Kelly's hair, he looked into her eyes knowing that this was the one thing he couldn't tell her about, it was hard to imagine how she'd react, but for now he tried to give her a small smile, "Maybe later."

"Okay," Kelly inhaled, she looked around the hospital knowing everything was going to shit, it was going bad and there was nothing she could do to stop it from getting worse. "I think I'm going to head home and get some rest." She let out a yawn watching Juice carefully. "You going to be coming home tonight?"

"Yeah," Juice kept brushing his hand into her hair; he took in the details of her face, how tired she really looked. "I'll see you when I get home." He kissed her softly before watching her walking away.


	12. Breaking Point

**AN: **Just to let you guys know that I will be making three more chapters, and then I am finished with this story.  
>I hope you have been enjoying it, I might be writing a third one, but it's all down to how I can imagine things unfolding after this story's finished.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><strong><strong>Chapter twelve<strong>  
><strong>**__Breaking Point__

* * *

><p>Kelly was lying in bed feeling Juice's arm wrapped around her, she played with his fingers looking to the digital alarm clock beside her bed. The whole night she felt nervous, Kelly knew that she'd hear her results today.<p>

Before seeing Juice at the hospital she asked if Margret could run a pregnancy test for her, Kelly was nervous to getting the results. More nervous was to find out and having to work out what to do with the information.

Getting out of the bed carefully Kelly took one more look at Juice; she picked up her cell phone heading to the kitchen. She wasn't good at coming up with ways to tell Juice this news, it wasn't the best of times to have to think about it. But Kelly looked to the coffee machine before turning to the cupboard to get herself a mug when her phone started to ring. She felt her heart stop as she pressed the answer button.

"Hello Kelly," Margret's voice snapped Kelly from her daydreaming.

Glancing out of the kitchen to the living room Kelly inhaled sharply, "Hi," She felt her voice shaking, she didn't know what to expect.

Margret on the other hand knew it was best to just get it out the way, "I got your results, I don't know how to say this easy, but they come back positive." The words echoed in Kelly's mind.

"Positive…" saying the word scared Kelly; she felt her hand pulling a chair from the kitchen table sitting down slowly. "Are you sure?"

"I'm one hundred percent sure," Margret continued, "I would like if you come to the hospital, I think it would be easier if we can talk over your options at this point, I can get you an ultrasound to see how far along you are. Do you have an idea how far you are?"

"No," Kelly ran a hand through her hair; she bit her lip trying to stop herself from crying. "I," Her voice was breaking up.

Margret felt bad, she knew this wasn't what Kelly wanted to hear, but she was doing this as a favour to Tara, she knew that it was important to keep this confidential. "The sooner we know how far along you are, the easier it will be for you to make plans."

"Yeah," Kelly closed her eyes pinching the bridge of her nose, she didn't think that this could happen, she was sure she was taking the pill right, but something must have gone horribly wrong. "Is there a change I can do this today?"

Margret paused for a while, she knew this had to be done, "I can make a clearance in my day to see you, are you doing anything an hour from now?"

"No, I can come and see you then." Kelly exhaled; she took a look to the door again hoping to keep this news away from Juice for now. "Can you make sure this doesn't get put into my medical records?"

"I can keep this hidden, but I won't be able to keep it off the system for too long," Margret's tone dropped. "Kelly, I am taking a big risk doing this for you."

"I know," Kelly spoke softly, her hand still playing in her hair feeling a hollow pit starting to form in her stomach. "I'll be there soon…" She hung up the phone just as Juice popped his head into the kitchen.

Juice only managed to hear the end of Kelly's phone conversation, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Kelly tried to smile getting to her feet, the whole ordeal of events made it hard to be happy, but she did the best she could. "I'm just getting some x-rays done of my wrist, it's still pretty sore." She pointed out feeling that if she had to keep one more secret her head was going to explode.

Juice touched her hand, it was still in the splint, but it didn't look any worse for wear. "Well let me know how it goes, I have a thing with the club to do."

"Yeah," Kelly let out a small sigh getting to her feet heading for the coffee machine, but knew in her condition she shouldn't be drinking coffee. Then she remembered no smoking also. She didn't even know if she was going to keep this pregnancy going, but she couldn't focus on anything making a coffee for Juice.

Juice took a step closer to Kelly, he wrapped his arms around her waist leaning his chin on her shoulder, for a second watching her make one cup of coffee. "Is there something you want to talk about?" He whispered brushing a soft kiss on her cheek.

For a second Kelly froze, she kept focused on her task, "No," Her word blunt, but turned her face to look at his. "I mean, everything that's going on, you shouldn't put worrying about me on that list." Her face was breaking into a smile, a smile that she had to keep there so he'd not push anything further.

Juice nodded, "Okay, but I'll have this coffee, take a shower and head to the club house." He kissed her cheek one more time. "And you'll always be on that worry list." He added taking the coffee mug from her, heading into the living room.

Kelly turned around watching him leave; she closed her eyes letting out a deep breath before glancing down to her stomach, her hands rubbing her abdomen thinking of what she was going to do from here.

* * *

><p>Gemma kept her sunglasses on as she stormed down the corridor, she felt like she was losing everything. Keeping her face hidden she felt something bump into her shoulder, her eyes snapping to make out Kelly standing in front of her. "Hey…" Gemma caught her holding her hands still. "Where's the fire?"<p>

Kelly took a step back, she was running late, she was seeing Margret and never expected to run into Gemma. For a second she studied over her aunt's face before feeling her mouth fall open. "Damn Gemma!"

Gemma tried to push her sunglasses up more, but she felt Kelly's hand taking them from her face, being late for her appointment was the last thing on her mind right now. "I think it's best you don't ask too many questions."

"Too many questions," Kelly felt like a fish out of water, "Clay did this to you." Her voice rough trying to touch her aunt's cheek, but felt her moving away. "Gemma, this is fucked up."

Gemma exhaled, "I know darling, but this has been building up for a while now," She put her sunglasses back on, her hand touching Kelly's face. "I hope you do yourself a favour and bring me those letters…"

"Gemma," Kelly kept her tone even, but everything was building up, "I can't." She whispered looking down the hall seeing Margret looking at her.

Gemma's eyes following Kelly's, "Anything wrong with you?" She asked feeling nervous.

"Just checking on my wrist," Kelly didn't want to get too much into details, she didn't want to tell her aunt she was expecting. It wasn't the best of times.

Gemma knew when something was up, plus she glanced to Kelly's wrist back to her face. "Wrist playing up…" Her voice sceptical about it, but shook her head. "Well I'm going leave you to it." Gemma watched as Kelly nodded heading down the corridor towards Margret.

"Everything okay?" Margret asked Kelly as they both slipped into an examining room, her eyes going over Kelly.

Kelly nodded, "Yeah, I just want to get this over with." Her voice was rough, her eyes looking to the ultrasound machine. "So this will tell me how far along I am?"

"Pretty much so," Margret glanced to the table, "I'll need you to lift your shirt when you get on the table." Her voice kept professional, even if she was breaking a lot of rules to do this favour.

Kelly glanced to Margret, "I thought you were just an administrator?"

"I am, but anyone can operate this machine really," Margret looked to the door, she now watched Kelly getting onto the table pulling her vest up. "Might also need to unbutton the top of your jeans also."

Kelly did as she was told, her eyes going from Margret to the machine she was setting up, her hands resting on her stomach feeling sick, "So how you going to know how far along I am?" Her voice was small, she felt nervous about seeing the life that her and Juice had created.

Margret exhaled holding the gel bottle, she shook it a few times looking over Kelly's face. "I may not be a medical professional, but I've done enough reading on the subject." She turned the bottle upside down squeezing the gel onto Kelly's stomach. "I'll have a rough idea." Her voice was calm picking up the wand putting it to Kelly's pelvic.

The silence of the room was broken with the light thumping of a heartbeat; both Kelly and Margret stared at the screen looking over the picture coming up with the sound of the little heartbeat.

Kelly kept looking over the screen, she knew that she wasn't that far along, but listening to the beating made her stomach drop as her eyes met Margret's. "How far would you say?"

"Well I'm thinking you are about nine to ten weeks… roughly." Her voice calm, but she could see the look on Kelly's face. "Would you want a picture?"

Kelly blinked; she felt her eyes going over the screen one more time. She felt sick with herself while trying to keep an emotional detachment to the unborn baby growing inside of her. "Sure…"

Margret didn't speak from then on, while she cleaned Kelly off watching the girl getting to her feet, her eyes looking to where she once see the little fetus, the sound of its beating heart echoed in her ears. "Here," Margret handed her the little ultrasound picture, she didn't know what else to say looking over Kelly. "I should warn you, if you are thinking of terminating the pregnancy, you should do it soon, times running out for you to get it done legally."

"I just need to think about this," Kelly placed the picture into her pocket; she looked to the door and back to Margret. "Thank you for doing this discreet for me."

"Sure, but I'm just letting you know you really need to work something out soon." Her eyes went to Kelly's stomach. "I'm just saying this in your best interest."

"I know," Kelly now opened the door walking out, she took one last look at Margret, "Not really something I planned on, but I guess I need to do what is best for me." She closed the door; she could feel her stomach sinking even more making her way to the exit.

She had no idea how she was going to tell Juice this news, if she was going to tell him at all was the scariest thing of all.

* * *

><p>Chibs had Jax's words echo into his head as he made his way into the club house, he searched around the bar trying to catch a glimpse of Juice, but his attention went to the kitchen seeing Kelly sitting at the table staring at something with a smoke in her hand.<p>

Kelly lit the smoke, but couldn't bring herself to smoke it. Her eyes kept focused on the fetus, it was easier to call it that when she'd not made up her mind what she was going to do.

"You alright lass?" Chibs spoke catching Kelly off guard, he see her quickly snubbing the smoke out hiding the thing in her hand. "What you got there?"

"Nothing," Kelly exhaled looking up to Chibs, he knew her face too well, but it was hard to lie, or in her case keep lying. "It's nothing really." She tried to calm herself.

Chibs inhaled, he sat beside her looking to the piece of paper under her hand, but he reached over brushing his fingers against hers. "You never were good at keeping secrets Kelly…"

"You'd be surprised Chibs." Her tone dropped, her eyes going over Chibs hand feeling nervous, "Anything happened that I need to know about?" Kelly tried to pull his attention away from her ultrasound picture, her eyes studying over his feeling her stomach sinking.

Chibs squeezed Kelly's hand again, "We're having more shit with this Cartel business, Kozik died today." His voice tried to sound calm, but he could see from the look on Kelly's face that she didn't take it that well.

For a few seconds Kelly kept staring at Chibs, "He, how?" Her voice was soft; her hand moved carefully, but her eyes never left Chibs.

"He stood on a land mine," Chibs squeezed her fingers, his eyes looking to the paper she was hiding, "It happened very quickly…" He said slowly using his free hand to move the piece of paper quickly looking it over. "And I'm assuming this is new." He held the picture up for Kelly to stare at.

"I'm not sure what to say Chibs," Her eyes trying hard not to break down, "Please don't say anything to Juan, not until I can figure out what I'm going to do." Kelly bit her lip taking the picture from him, she glanced over the tiny fetus, her hand brushing it flat again.

Chibs got to his feet, "As long as you talk to him lass," He brushed a hand into her hair, "I guess I better go and talk to him then…" He held a hand up quickly, "About today's events."

"Okay." Kelly got to her feet heading to the bar looking at everyone, she watched Chibs heading to the bathroom, and knew that some point she would have to talk to Juice about the future.

Bobby was standing behind the bar, "Geordie confessed to Luann. It's done." His voice calm, but Kelly could tell there was more.

"Good," Kelly said while looking to Opie, she could tell this club was dealing with a lot of shit, she personally couldn't wait for it all to be over with.

Jax holding his drink looked around the bar, "You go see Otto tomorrow, give the poor man some closure." He held the drink up before stopping himself.

Bobby nodded, "Yeah…" He felt like today was horrible, but one thing got done that was long overdue.

Jax held his drink up, his eyes to Kelly as Opie pushed a drink towards her. "To Kozik…" He held the drink with everyone, his eyes watching Kelly close.

Bobby holding his bottle up, "To Luann…" He drank.

Everyone was drinking, but Jax's eyes going over Kelly still holding the drink putting it back on the table, "You alright cuz?"

Kelly's eyes went to the drink, to Jax's face, "I'm not feeling that well…" She got to her feet starting to head for the exit, it wasn't long before Jax was on her tail watching her sitting on a bench looking up to him. "Why are you suddenly hyper aware of my actions?"

"When your actions are easy to notice," Jax sat beside her; he reached over taking her hand. "You're my cousin, and last I knew you are the closest thing to a sister, so I am always going to be aware of you." He now looked over her eyes. "Is there anything about you and Juice I should know?"

Kelly bit her lip, "I don't really know what to say…"

Jax glanced her over, "Well for one, you were lighting up smokes to put them out, you're not drinking, and you're looking like someone told you, you only have ex amount of days to live… And god damn it you're pregnant!"

"Juan doesn't know, and Chibs found out also," Kelly waved her hands, "I think my body is the queen of bad timing, but hell I spend three weeks on a massive binge, and this thing is still living."

"Kelly," Jax now ran a hand into her hair; he looked into her eyes trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. "I know you're going to talk to Juice before you do anything." His eyes meeting hers, "Kelly, you've got to think this through carefully, and I mean very carefully."

"Yeah, I kinda know that Jax," Kelly exhaled, "But if you've not noticed, my boyfriend isn't in the most stable of moods…"

"No, considering his little stint with walking through a mine field." Jax see the horror on Kelly's face, "And I'm guessing this is the first time hearing it."

Kelly nodded her head; she got to her feet seeing Chibs walking out looking from her to Jax. "You!" She pointed to Chibs face, "You didn't tell me Juan was in that mine field!"

Jax looked from Chibs to Kelly, "What did Juice have to say for himself?"

"He's not suicidal," Chibs pointed out, his eyes looking to Kelly, "But I think the sooner you tell him about this pregnancy, the sooner he'll have something worth keeping his head straight on for."

Kelly laughed, "So what you're telling me, is that I should consider keeping this pregnancy, to keep Juan's sanity, not really caring what happens to mine." Her hands waved in the air, "Am I that insignificant that I…" She dropped her hands heading towards her bike.

Chibs looked to Jax for a few seconds. "Do you think it's best to put that in her head?" Jax said trying to keep his cool.

"Look, I'm not telling her to have a baby, but I think for all purposes maybe it's a good thing." He now watched Kelly getting onto her bike riding off. "How much longer are we going to keep this up, I don't know if she'll ever get the vote in, and she can't be prospecting forever."

"I know Chibs," Jax closed his eyes for a few seconds pinching his nose, "But I'm just trying to wrap my head around all this shit."

* * *

><p>Juice felt sickness hitting the pit of his stomach, the feeling he was doing something completely wrong was setting in every time he checked in. He had to keep reminding himself it was for the good of the club, but even that thought wasn't comforting him as much as it used to.<p>

His keys fitted into the lock of the front door, he opened it slowly not sure what to find, his eyes scanning the empty hallway with the light off, he glanced towards the living room seeing Kelly sitting on the sofa, she was staring at something in her hands.

"You alright babe?" Juice walked carefully in front of Kelly studying her face, "Kelly…" He added feeling slightly worried about her blank expression.

It took Kelly a few seconds to register that Juice was slowly sitting beside her, her eyes never leaving the photo in her hands trying to feel any kind of emotional attachment to what she was looking at.

Juice couldn't believe it, his eyes scanning over the photo, he knew what it was; it wasn't that difficult to be able to tell. "Kelly," He said slowly.

"Juan," Kelly's eyes turning away from the ultrasound photo, her eyes falling onto his, she never felt more nervous in her whole life, her fear was too much to really understand the expression reflecting in his eyes. "I guess you can assume so much."

"Yeah," His hand reached over taking the photo from her, he wasn't to get a closer look not quite sure what he was looking for. "Is it mine?"

"Well consider for the past eight months you're the only man I've been having sex with, I would say yes Juan it is yours!" Kelly jumped to her feet walking over to the kitchen, but turned back to face him. "Oh and if you need to know I'm about ten weeks, so I think you can do the math." Her hands quickly covered her eyes feeling sick with the tone of her voice.

Juice got up, he wanted to rush over to Kelly, but kept a safe distance. "I didn't mean it like that I just…" He exhaled, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but I am not even sure if this is something we can cope with Juan, I mean do you really think we can do this?" Kelly bit her lip, her hands folding over her chest knowing that whatever they both agreed on was going to happen.

Juice took a careful step forward; he didn't see Kelly flinch, so he put his arm around her holding her tight, "I don't want you to keep it, if it's not what you want…" He whispered into her hair. "But I can't think of anything to say that won't piss you off."

"You want to keep it," Kelly said backing away, "I mean you have to be honest with me Juan or it won't work." Her eyes were scanning over his.

Juice nodded, "Yes, and no…" His hands ran over his head watching Kelly, he knew this was hard. "I want us to have a family, but right now…" He tried to keep calm. "I can't deal with this."

"You can't deal with this!" Kelly let out a dry laugh. "You can't fuck deal with this!" Her hand pointed to his face feeling sick, her stomach knotting up. "I have to deal with this, I have little time to change my mind, and I have no fucking clue." Her hand waved in Juice's face. "Right now I have no clue who you are, you're hiding things, you're secretive, you walk through a fucking mine field and not give one thought about your life, and you have the cheek to stand there and tell me you can't deal with it."

"Yes Kelly I can't, with all this reco business…" Juice froze seeing the look on Kelly's face.

Kelly took another step back, "What reco?" Her voice dropped feeling nervous, "Juice what have you done this time?"

He bit his lip; Juice could feel himself staring over Kelly's face, "I am trying to keep the club safe, if I give up the meeting location, the club will be safe."

"And you believed that," Kelly shouted, "Oh my God Juan what were you thinking!" Her hands kept in front of her, she kept trying to think rationally.

Juice took a step closer to Kelly, but she kept backing away from him, her hand reaching to the coffee table where her keys were. "Kelly please, let me explain."

"I can't Juan, I just." She pushed passed him heading to the door, he chest hurting, but she needed to get away to think. All this was too much, everything was too much and she was scared that she was getting to the point of all these secrets making her go crazy.

* * *

><p>Going the only place she could think of going Kelly pulled up outside the club house, her eyes scanning around for anyone seeing Tig coming out of the club house. Kelly scanned over him to see he wasn't wearing his Sargent at arms patch. "What's going on?" Her voice was calmer since her fight with Juice.<p>

"Today's been rough," Tig placed a hand on Kelly's shoulder, "How you doing?" He asked looking over her face trying to find something comforting in her eyes.

"Not good," Kelly hugged onto Tig, her hands running up his back before taking a better look at him. "You going to say why you're a patch light?"

"Long story," Tig brushed a hand into her hair, he gave a small smile, "I wish I could explain better." He looked over to the office, "I need to talk to Gemma."

"Okay, do you know where I can find Jax or Opie?" Kelly asked looking around the lot seeing Jax bike was gone, but Opie's bike was still there.

Tig inhaled, "Jax's gone to hospital to see Tara, and Ope's gone to the cabin to get Piney…" He felt frozen seeing Kelly's reaction. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine; I just remembered I forgot something Juan asked me to pick up…" Kelly took a step back feeling her stomach turning. "I'll see you tomorrow." She quickly turned rushing for her bike, throwing her helmet on, she started her bike up heading to the cabin in fear of what she was going to find.

* * *

><p>Getting off her Bike Kelly could hear the sobs of Opie; she could feel her heart breaking as she took the steps up to the door seeing Wayne standing back. "What…?" Kelly's voice felt rough in her throat.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Wayne didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he couldn't help but feel bad for what he had to tell Opie.

Kelly took a step forward, "What did you tell him Wayne?" Her eyes studying over his, her stomach felt hollow, but worst of all she knew that she couldn't pretend that Opie was going to take this rationally.

"I said what needed to be said Kelly, and it's best you don't know anything." Wayne felt her glaring.

Kelly felt a dry laugh escape her, "I've known too long Wayne, and this is what Gemma told me to not tell anyone about, the stupid letters I'm hiding."

"What!" Wayne touched Kelly's arms; he looked her dead in the eyes. "You've got the letters?"

Kelly took a step back, "For all rights and purposes, I wished I told Opie the second I found out. I wished I told him. Cos maybe Tara would still have her hand, Gemma wouldn't have had the crap beaten out of her…" Kelly stopped seeing Opie standing behind Wayne.

"You knew about this?" He asked, his tone had calmed down, but he could still feel the anger burning bright in his chest.

Kelly bit her lip, she could only nod, "But you got to understand, Gemma told me not to, she…" She tried to keep calm, but could see the horror on Opie's face.

"How could you Kelly?" Opie stepped passed Wayne, his eyes kept starting at her trying to work it out.

Wayne felt worried, he could see Opie making a move for Kelly; he tried to hold Opie back, but felt Opie pushing him in to the wall. "Ope don't!"

Opie felt sick, he held his hand against her arm tight, his eyes glaring into her, and he had to know. "Why!" His voice snapped as he shook Kelly hard. "Why did this happen to my old man?"

"I don't know Opie," Kelly felt him shake her again, she felt her stomach churning. "Opie please, I think I'm gonna be sick." Her eyes pleading to him, but felt his grip loosen as she took a step back. "All I know is that Piney had me look after these letters he read, letters by JT to some woman in Ireland, letters Clay didn't want anyone to know about."

"What did you say about Gemma's face?" Opie couldn't believe all this; he could see tears starting to fall down Kelly's face.

Kelly brushed a hand under her eyes, "I don't know the details, but I'm assuming it's a bit of this, a bit of what happened to Tara." Her was voice shaking. "Gemma must have suspected that Clay put a hit out on Tara, and Jax being there must have not been known to whoever was hired to kill her."

"Kelly," Opie's hand was gentle on her face; he brushed her hair back seeing how scared she was. "How did you get involved in all of this?"

Kelly tried to ignore the cabin, knowing that Piney's body was still in there. "I felt bad for him, he was so upset and I helped him." Her eyes still refusing to stop crying, but her eyes going over Opie's seeing he was still crying too. "Opie, if I could change one thing, just one." Her voice felt like it was burning her throat, "I'd not have let him read them damn letters…"

Opie wrapped his arms around Kelly, he felt her holding onto him, and they both kept still in each other's arms as Wayne took a step away.

After a few moments of just holding onto each other, Kelly pulled back feeling her shoulder was wet where Opie had been crying. "Opie, if there is anything I can do for you?" She brushed his hair back looking into his eyes.

"I am going to kill Clay," His voice so blunt, he didn't know how Kelly would take it. "I need you to make sure that no one knows what I am going to do…"

Kelly nodded, "I can do that." She glanced to the cabin, "What about?" Her head nudged not being able to say his name, the thought of him being dead still made her feel sick.

"Wayne's going to help me with that," Opie brushed some of Kelly's hair behind her ear, he took out a smoke lighting it up offering one to Kelly.

"No thanks, I'm not in the right state to smoke…" Kelly sat beside Opie on the swing chair, her eyes going over the look of confusion on his face. "Expecting…"

"Shit," Opie looking over Kelly's stomach, "You know what you're going to do with it?" He asked inhaling the smoke.

Kelly shook her head, "I don't even know, I think Juan wants to have a family, just with all the Cartel shit, it's not that right time…"

"With everything in mind, when is the right time?" Opie inhaled and exhaled smoke feeling his plan working over in his head. "Kelly, you know whatever you choose to do, I'm behind you."

"I know Opie…" Kelly glanced to the sky, she could tell it was going to be sunrise soon, another day was coming, but Kelly could tell that this day was going to be different. This day was the day everything was going to change.


	13. Hold it inside

**AN: **Well I want to one say sorry for the very long hiatus, as not many of you are aware that I've not only been spending a lot of time with a guy friend, I've also gotten a new job, plus moved.  
>I've not given up on this story, it's just been hard for me to focus on writing with so much going on in my head, so if you've been waiting long for this update I am deeply sorry, I will do my best to finish this story, as when the new season of SOA start, I will be starting the third installment to this tale...<strong><br>**

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><p><strong><strong>Chapter thirteen<br>****__Hold it inside__

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><p>Opie left the house feeling the confirmation he needed, he looked over Kelly standing by his bike looking serious. "I told you not to follow me." His voice was bitter as he lifted his helmet off the handle bars studying over her face.<p>

"Yes, but I am trying to make you think about what you're planning on doing Ope." Kelly kept on Opie's bike, her hands resting on the body trying to keep strong, "You have to think about it."

"I've thought about it," Opie placed both his hands on Kelly's waist, his eyes focused down on her. "He is the reason I don't have Donna, and my kids lost their mother."

"I know Opie," Kelly whispered feeling his hands running up her waist, she held her breath for a few seconds. "Ope, I know you have every right to kill him, but think of the club…"

"How am I meant to think of the club Kelly?" Opie took a step back from her, he looked towards the house he'd been in a hundred times before, but felt nothing towards it now. "Donna was everything to me."

Kelly bit her lip more, if it was hard enough to know what happened to Donna, it was harder to look Opie in the face and hide the fear she was keeping to herself. "I don't know what to do here."

"There is nothing you can do Kelly…" Opie moved her out of the way, he got on his bike starting it up and riding off leaving Kelly standing back feeling worse than before.

Taking a step back Kelly turned heading for the house, she managed to open the back door to see Gemma sitting at the kitchen table. "What did you tell him?" Her voice was so tired, but Kelly had spent too long trying to push passed all the crap that was going on.

Gemma looked up to Kelly, the question catching her attention. "I was about to ask you the same thing darling." Her voice was rough; it matched the expression on her face.

Sitting at the table Kelly felt her hands moving from the table surface, to under the table on her knees. The woman across from her was someone she'd known all her life, but now she wasn't sure who Gemma really was anymore, or Clay for that matter. Kelly was scared to look directly at her aunt's face. "I didn't have to tell Ope much, Unser told him enough." For a moment Kelly was feeling sick, the kind of sick where she couldn't hide it. "Also I'll assume you'd want these." Reaching into her bag Kelly took out the copies of the letters throwing them on the table.

Gemma reached over pulling them close before staring at Kelly, "You read them?" She asked, the tone of her voice was telling Kelly enough.

"I read them out of curiosity. Kinda wish I never now because I don't know who you are anymore Gemma…" Getting to her feet Kelly brushed her hand down her waist, her eyes focused on her aunt's feeling the guilt that must always be on Gemma's head. "I'll never stop loving you, you're the biggest influence in my life, but I just don't know what I'm doing here."

Reaching a hand up Gemma felt her fingers gripping onto Kelly's arm, "I'm not perfect, and darling there are times when I know I'm not all that good, but I do everything I can for the sake of my family."

"Family…" Kelly tried to not laugh, but her throat burned with the need to let it out, her hand touching over Gemma's. "All I have in this world is family, all I want." Her eyes glanced to the door feeling her attention trying so hard to forget all the troubles these past few weeks have brought her. "I just keep trying to find the line Gemma."

"Yeah," Gemma patted Kelly's arm, she moved out from the table letting Kelly sit on her lap. Gemma feeling Kelly's head resting on her shoulder, brushing a hand into Kelly's hair Gemma let out a small sigh. "I think that line is very hard to see from where we are." Her voice comforting, knowing everything that will happen, knowing so much will be pulled into the open.

Kelly kept her eyes closed, feeling the motion of Gemma's hand brushing into her hair, feeling the comfort of her childhood. "Gemma, I have to tell you something." Moving back she looked into Gemma's eyes, trying her hardest to ignore the bruises. "I'm…" Kelly's voice trailed off. "I'm thinking I need to see Tara, she's coming out of hospital today right?"

"Sure, I'm heading there," Gemma brushed a hand against Kelly's face, "Everything going okay with you and Juan?" Getting to her feet Gemma headed for her purse.

Kelly nodded, "Yeah, fine." She lied, but found her lying was getting easier the more she did it. "I just thought I've not really seen Tara since, well." Her hands brushed into her pockets looking to the door thinking what Opie was doing now.

* * *

><p>While Gemma had told Kelly she needed to speak to Tara alone, Kelly could only sit in the waiting room looking at a painting on a wall, the way it didn't make Kelly think of anything aside from wanting to burn it. The painting was only of a boat on the sea, but even that little bit of carefree nature, even in a painting filled Kelly with Envy.<p>

"You alright?" Jax's voice snapped Kelly out of her blank stare, her eyes adjusted before looking up to Jax.

Kelly got to her feet, "I told Juan, but I still don't know what I'm going to do." Pushing her hands into her pockets Kelly could hear the door to Tara's room opening. "I just came here to ask Tara for some advice, I haven't told Gemma yet."

"Guessing you're thinking of getting rid of it?" Jax asked quietly, but turned to face Gemma as the door had opened fully and her head poked out, "Hey mom." Jax said walking closer to Gemma.

"Hey baby," Gemma replied while giving Jax a kiss on the cheek, "You hear anything from Ope? He came by the house this morning."

Jax sighed, "Was Piney with him, he went to the cabin last night to bring him home." Jax's voice was sombre.

"No, no. He was alone." Gemma replied, her eyes going to Kelly standing behind Jax, Gemma could tell the look Kelly was giving her was trying to make her feel guilty for the lie they both were telling.

Jax didn't know what else to say, his attention on the door as he opened it and walked inside, he gave Kelly one last look and mouth, "You have to tell her."

Kelly rolled her eyes as the door closed her attention to Gemma as she went over to Phil telling him to find Opie before walking away.

"I guess my job is never done," Phil glanced over Kelly, he could tell something was eating her up inside, "Are you feeling okay, you like kinda paler than normal." His hand reached out touching Kelly's shoulder, but he could tell he wasn't going to get a believable answer right now.

Kelly exhaled, "I've been worried about everything." She gave a quick flash of a fake smile, "I better let you get on with the Opie hunt." Kelly took a step back, she went to the seat she was sitting on before Jax turned up, her eyes going back to the painting once more, she needed to talk to Tara, and she wasn't going to leave until that happened.

* * *

><p>"I want a twenty on her by the end of the day!" Jax voice was commanding, but he walked right into Kelly holding a cup of water spilling it over the both of them. "Oh shit!"<p>

"Sorry!" Kelly's voice was scared, her eyes connected with Jax for a split second, "What's wrong?" She asked not sure of anything.

Jax glanced back to Phil looking nervous, "Can you do me a favour, I need you to help him track down Wendy," Jax exhaled brushing his hand under his nose, "She's pushing for custody of Abel." He added quietly, he didn't want his son taken away from him, never again.

"I just need to talk to Tara first, then I'm right on it." Kelly glanced down to her empty cup, her eyes back to Jax feeling nervous. "I thought out of all the people in my life, Tara would be the one person to give me a logical answer to my problem, but I guess she's in her own shit right now."

"Hey," Jax placed a hand against Kelly's cheek; he couldn't stop watching her eyes staring up at him. "I'm not telling you to keep it, and I wouldn't see Juice forcing you to either, but whatever happens. It's going to be with you the rest of your life."

Kelly nodded, she couldn't think of the right words to say, but her hand moved resting on Jax's shoulder, her eyes never leaving his face. "You've always going to be the big brother to me."

"Well someone's gotta look out for you," He leant down brushing his lips against her cheek, his free hand rubbing her arm, "I love you Kelly."

"I love you too Jax," Kelly took a step back, "Now go take care of whatever you need to do, I'm gonna quick chat with Tara, and then find that crazy ex-wife of yours."

Kelly turned walking back to the door, she didn't know to knock or just open, so she inhaled lightly tapping the door before opening it a crack, "Is it okay for me to come in?" Kelly asked quickly.

"Yeah," Tara's voice was worn out, she watched the door open faster now, but seeing Kelly was a relief to her, she knew that Kelly couldn't have any more bad news to tell her. "Not seen you since yesterday."

"When everything was meant to be getting better," Kelly sat on the bed looking over Tara's hand. "I didn't mean…"

"No it's okay," Tara cut Kelly off; she used her free hand to touch Kelly's. "So what you need to talk to me about?" Tara tried to smile, but it was getting harder and harder to do.

Kelly moved her eyes from staring at her and Tara's hands, to Tara's face, "I found out that I'm pregnant."

"Shit…" Tara muttered, her hand giving Kelly's a light squeeze, "I'm guessing you don't know what to do." Tara's eyes searching Kelly's for the answer, but even in her own depression, she could clearly see the conflict in Kelly, "How far along?"

"Nine, maybe ten weeks, all I know is whatever I choose, it's gotta be soon." Kelly closed her eyes, her free hand resting on her abdomen. "I just don't even know if I'm ready."

Tara exhaled, "I don't think any of us know the answer." Her hand was trying so hard to give Kelly some reassurances. "Does Gemma know?"

"No, I've not got that enough courage to tell her that," Kelly shifted her weight on the bed, her eyes going over Tara's face knowing that both of them knew what Gemma was like. "If she knew I was expecting, she'd be over the moon, she'd want me to keep it, and be a mother and leave all this patching in business behind me."

"Kelly, don't take this the wrong way, but do you really think it's worth it?" Tara asked feeling nervous; she didn't even know where Kelly's head was in this moment.

Kelly let Tara's hand go, "It's all I've wanted for a long time, even as corrupted and fucked up as it seems, it's still the only thing I can think of." Getting to her feet Kelly turned to look over Tara. "You had the great job, you could have done anything you wanted to Tara, but you choose to come back here, of all places you came here, and in hind sight I could have done anything with my life, but I didn't." Her hands were shaking, her eyes starting to water. "This place is all I've known to make me feel whole, but I feel so hollow."

"Kelly," Tara said watching Kelly standing still. "It's just bad timing, and I wish I could help you." For a minute Tara didn't know what to say, "I just wish."

"I know what you mean Tara," Kelly brushed a hand under her eyes looking over the other woman. "But if it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure that bitch doesn't take any of your boys away from you."

Kelly turned walking out the room, she could still feel the confusion of what to do, but walking over to Phil on his phone she rolled her eyes. "Come on, I know how to find an ex-junkie quicker than you."

"Jax got you to help me out?" Phil hung up the phone looking over Kelly.

"No, he's got you helping me," Now walking with a little more confidence, Kelly knew if she did one thing good today, she was going to figure out what she was going to do with her unplanned pregnancy later.

* * *

><p>Kelly didn't like the bud shop, she had spent so long avoiding the place she doubt the employees would know who she was as she closed the door behind her. "Is Juice here?" She asked a spaced out man behind the register.<p>

"He was here a few minutes ago, he left…" His voice was even more vacant than his face, but he gave Kelly a sly smile. "He has an old lady…"

Kelly closed her eyes for a second; pinching the bridge of her nose she opened her eyes again staring at the man. "That would be me," Her voice was a low grunt, her hands resting by her sides. "I just need some information, the people who sometimes comes in here, the rehab group that give you fliers." Kelly stepped closer to the register, her eyes going to the fresh batch that had been placed in the trash. "I see they've been today." She reached in taking a flier out.

"Those people are a right buzz kill man, they talk about clean living." He gave a shudder looking over Kelly's face. "You know where Juice is?"

Kelly rolled her eyes looking over the man one more time, "No," She turned leaving the shop, she exhaled trying to keep herself calm taking her cell phone out. "Jax I have some good news."

"You've found Wendy?" Jax asked from the other end of the phone, he wasn't having a good day for one, so this was what he needed.

Kelly kept heading towards her bike, she glanced down to the flier feeling good, "She's going to be at the community centre around four, and there is a sober living meeting that she's on the committee."

"Thanks Kelly," Jax said with a smile, "If you can do me a favour, can you find out where Ope is. I've not seen him all day."

Kelly bit her lip, she felt that knot in her stomach tightening up, so she closed her eyes trying to control herself, "Yeah, I'll be right on it." She hung the phone up. What was it with people and going missing today?

* * *

><p>Opie watched as his father's body was put into the incinerator, he couldn't believe it. While he never thought of the possibility of his father dying, he knew that the second he walked into the cabin the other night he'd not like what he'd see.<p>

Hearing the flames start he could feel he wasn't alone when the crematorium worker left, he could sense it was Kelly before he turned around to see her standing by his side. "Why are you here?"

"You need me," Kelly's eyes looking up to his, he knew them eyes too well looking up at him through the dimly lit room. The only light was coming from the fire burning Piney. "I couldn't let you be alone." Her voice was soft through the tense atmosphere.

Opie holding onto his father's cut, he knew what she said was true. He remembered the day Kelly found her father's dead body, he could never imagine how it would feel to have to see that, but here he was watching his father being cremated.

Kelly knew Opie wasn't going to say much, with a careful hand she placed it softly on Opie's shoulder, her head resting against his chest keeping silent.

Opie kept still, he closed his eyes feeling Kelly's hand on him, her head neatly resting against him, but watching the fire, the cut still tight in his fists he couldn't feel anything that wasn't his heart being torn from his chest.

In the silence the only sound was the fire, both Kelly and Opie stood together watching it consuming Piney's body, both of them knowing after this night nothing was going to be the same again.

The door opening made Kelly jump as she see Unser walk into the crematorium. "Thanks for handling this." Opie finally said feeling Kelly moving away from him.

"Sure, no problem" Unser said looking from Opie to Kelly; they both seemed to share the same expression while watching the fire. "I need to talk to you about something."

"I'm not really in the mood to talk right now…" Opie said finally while still focused on the fire he heard the door open again.

"Oh my god!" Jax's voice caught the attention of Kelly, "What happened?" Jax kept looking around the three other people in the room.

Opie's eyes finding Jax, "I found him in the cabin, shot gun to the chest." His voice echoes with his pain.

"Jesus Christ…" Jax felt sick, "Ope I'm sorry!" Jax pulled Opie into a hug, he couldn't think of this being real, but he pulled away. "You think it was the Mexicans?" He asked.

"I'll say again, I just wanted to say goodbye. He would have wanted you here." Opie now held onto Piney's cut; he squeezed it into a ball before throwing it onto the fire with Piney's body.

Kelly took a step back watching Both Jax and Opie standing together. Her hands resting in her pockets trying to think what would Piney be saying to her now if he was still alive? The thought of never getting any advice from the old man again made a pain spread from Kelly's chest.

No one spoke after, it was the moments of saying goodbye, but as they left the crematorium was the things Kelly didn't even see coming stepping out behind Jax. "You're gonna tell me what happened to Piney?" Jax asked Opie, only to see Opie pull a gun out.

"You should know! You're Clay's boy!" Opie snapped his voice was filled with rage as he kept the gun pointed on Jax's face.

"What are you talking about?" Jax took a step back, he was confused, he didn't understand.

"Clay killed my old man!" Opie's voice filled with venom, his face mixed with pain and anger.

Jax shook his head, his eyes going from Opie to Kelly standing back in horror. "No, no Ope!"

"Yes!" Opie said out loud, "He killed my wife, and then my father…" his gun steady, Opie didn't focused on anything else but Jax, "Did you know? Did you know?"

"No Ope, of course not!" Jax yelled he felt fear; he was scared of the man he knew as a brother, the man holding a gun on him with so much built up rage. "If Clay did this, it's a club issue. Let's take it to the table, let everyone else know."

"What table, you're out!" Opie muttered. He aimed his gun at Jax's tyre shooting it quickly before getting on his own bike riding away.

Jax's eyes snapped, he felt confused, but before he could say anything he saw Kelly jumping on her bike taking off after Opie. "Kelly!" He shouted, he was scared what Opie might do if she tried to stop him.

Kelly kept riding, even if she knew that Jax wasn't going to be happy with her taking off, she didn't care keeping Opie in her sight. While the ride wasn't that long, Kelly couldn't keep up with Opie, he was more skilled than she was on a bike, plus her bad wrist playing up didn't help as she see his bike outside the club house, Kelly jumped off seeing Jax pulling into the lot behind her. "He's in there!" Kelly pointed, she watched Jax getting off the bike he rode rushing into the club house, but Kelly wasn't far behind him.

Standing behind Jax at Church Kelly felt the tension hit her like a ton of Bricks; Jax with a gun to Opie, Opie had his gun on Clay. Clay sat at the gavel Kelly didn't know what to do, "Please Ope; don't make me kill you…" Jax pleaded with his best friend.

A single smirk appeared on Opie's lips before pulling the trigger, he shot into Clay watching as the man who murdered his father feel back into the wall, the pain on his face but the job wasn't finished.

Opie and Jax both looked to Clay, who was still alive, Kelly couldn't believe it, but as Opie raised his gun to finish Clay off. Jax was quick to pull his gun shooting Opie through the wrist. "Jax!" Kelly's voice squeaked seeing Opie falling onto the table, her hands covering her mouth feeling like everything she was witnessing shouldn't be happening.

Jax was quick to knock Opie to the floor, making sure he kicked the gun away he turned to look at Kelly still looking horror struck. "Kelly, get out of here now!" He barked watching her turn away leaving the Church.

Kelly couldn't get that far before seeing Unser pulling into the lot, his eyes focused on hers before stopping the truck jumping out to greet her. "Kelly…"

"This is all your fault…" Kelly whispered, "All your good damn fault!" Her words harsh, but now it was only going to get worse.


	14. It's gotta get bad before it gets good

**AN:** Sorry,I know it's been a long while since I've updated, plus I am super excited for Season five starting tomorrow, so I am going to try my best to update this.  
>One more chapter for me to write after this, and then this story will be complete. I will be doing a third story, but won't start it until I've seen the first few episodes of season five.<br>Hope you enjoy XoXo

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><p><strong>Chapter fourteen<strong>

_It's gotta get bad before it gets good  
><em>

* * *

><p>Most of events that happened seemed like a blur, as if it was a dream that was happening so out of Kelly's control that she herself couldn't figure out if she was dreaming or not. The times she'd thought of everything that was wrong with the club, every little thing boiled down to this fixed point in time.<p>

With Clay shot, Kelly couldn't go against Jax's words, he told George if he wanted his patch he'd tell everyone the lie, and Kelly wasn't even sure if that applied to her also as she watched Jax pulling out the lot with Opie.

George leaving also, Kelly was now looking to Unser sitting with Clay in the garage, the man she saw as an uncle, a surrogate father even, shot and bleeding and she couldn't help but think he deserved it.

Kelly moved into the garage listening to the sound of approaching ambulance and police, her eyes going to Unser for some reason, even if she already knew the lies. Lying had become second nature to Kelly in a way she never wanted it to be. "I'll go with him in the ambulance, I should phone Gemma…" Her voice was soft, it was hard to hear, but Unser heard it.

"Yes, also you need to clean yourself up…" He glanced over Kelly, "You going to be okay doing this?" He asked forgetting she was no longer a little girl.

Kelly got to her feet seeing the ambulance first, "I'll do my best," Her hands going to her face wiping away tears she wasn't aware she was crying.

A dream, Kelly kept thinking of the possibility of this all just being a dream she'd yet to wake out of, but the ride to the hospital was very real, the sound of machines keeping Clay alive, the noise of paramedics doing their job making Kelly aware of the questions police would be asking her as soon as she arrives at the hospital.

The top of all her worries was that she no longer wanted this, she didn't even know when she stopped wanting it, but it was a feeling burrowing deeper into her mind. As the back of the ambulance opened taking Clay out, Kelly could tell no one had informed the club taking her cell phone out she sent a simple text to Chibs, she'd knew he'd be the best to get the word out.

"Miss Madock if you mind we have a few questions," Roosevelt said watching Kelly in the back of the ambulance, she sat staring forward unaware he was talking to her. "Kelly, I need to know what happened to Clay."

For a second Kelly couldn't hear what Roosevelt was saying, everything was still muffled, but she blinked listening to him repeating himself. "Yeah, I know…" Her voice was soft as she moved to the front of the ambulance, "I didn't see much I was in the club house, and I just saw the vehicle driving away by the time I got out the club house, all I saw was tail lights…" Kelly glanced towards the hospital, the night air was cool, but her eyes couldn't bring herself to look at Roosevelt. "I'm sorry I'm not much help, but I have some phone calls to make, Unser would be a lot more helpful for you."

Roosevelt inhaled, "I will be sure, but if you do remember anything else…" He glanced over Kelly's face, he paused. "I have a feeling you won't remember." He exhaled while holding a hand out to help Kelly out the ambulance. "I'm not the bad guy Kelly."

Kelly hesitated before taking his hand, she got out the ambulance looking over him, "I'm sure you're not, but right now I can't trust anyone." Letting his hand go she took her phone out again looking to Roosevelt, "I better make them phone calls."

Walking away from Roosevelt Kelly could hear the approach of bikes, her eyes looking around to see Chibs getting off his bike. "Kelly," Chibs rushed over to her quickly pulling her in his arms. It wasn't long before Tig and Happy were close behind looking over Kelly's face.

"What happened?" Happy spoke up when Kelly pulled away from Chibs.

For a second Kelly could feel the anger from the three men, plus the lie she'd need to tell them all. "I didn't see. I only got out of the club to see the car pull away…" Her hands rested on her stomach looking to Chibs. "I wish I could be more helpful."

Tig brushed a hand against her shoulder, "Don't worry," He lent in kissing her forehead, he glanced to Happy and Tig, "We better get inside."

"Anyone told Gemma?" Chibs asked. He kept a hand on Kelly's shoulder rubbing it lightly.

Kelly snapped her attention to Chibs, "I was just about to do that." She glanced around, "Anyone else coming?"

"No, just us…" Tig brushed a hand against her shoulder looking over to Chibs, "When we find out who did this, they're gonna pay." Tig's voice was bitter as he walked into the hospital followed by Happy.

Kelly looked up to Chibs, "You better go in; I'll see if I can reach Gemma." Her eyes looking up into his feeling lost, "No sign of Juan?"

"Sorry Lass," Chibs brushed his hand against her cheek, "I'll keep an ear out." He let her face go following the others into the hospital.

Kelly stood still; she felt her cell phone in her hand as she looked to Gemma's number, the person to call. Even as she pressed the call button, it didn't take long for Gemma to answer. "Hello…"

"Gemma, hey you need to get to Saint Thomas. It's Clay." Kelly closed her eyes hearing the small whimper in Gemma's voice.

"Kelly, is he dead?" Gemma's voice was soft on the other end of the phone, "Darling…"

Kelly blinked, her hand rubbing her eyes, "No, he's alive, holding on by a thread. I think its best you get here soon." Kelly hung the phone up, she exhaled heading into the hospital feeling that this wasn't going to work out.

* * *

><p>Unser was being questioned by Roosevelt, Kelly sat between Happy and Chibs watching as the old man lied through his teeth. Every few seconds she could feel Roosevelt eyes on her, Kelly would have walked out, but the feeling of the secret over her head made it difficult to lose her poker face.<p>

"Was there anyone on the lot aside from Kelly and Unser?" Roosevelt now put the full power of his stare on Kelly.

Chibs rubbed his hand on Kelly's arm, "No, we split…" He glanced down to Kelly, "Only reason she was sticking around, was because she was waiting for her old man." He pulled Kelly closer trying to stop her shaking.

"So Kelly, where was Clay when you was on the lot?" Roosevelt focused on Kelly; he could see Chibs guarding her carefully as her eyes lifted up to look at him.

Kelly swallowed a dry lump, her throat sore as she brushed a hand under her eyes, "I told you, he was in the garage, I was in the club house. I didn't see anything!" Her voice bitter as her eyes closed resting her head on Chibs shoulder.

Tig took a step forward, his watched Roosevelt, "Kelly's told you all she knows." His voice a scary calm, but all he could think about was Clay fighting for his life, and how he should have been there to stop it.

"He was keeping the garage open late for me," Unser stepped in, he could tell that some heat needed to be taken off of Kelly, the poor girl looked worn out, plus after everything she needed a break.

Roosevelt eased off Kelly, "And what about security cameras?"

Happy glanced up from his silence, "They don't record!" He snapped in the feeling of frustration.

"Of course not…" Roosevelt chimed in looking smug, but the fact of it all he knew he wasn't going to get anything out of these people. "I'm going to talk to Clay when he's conscious. The rest of you stay available…" He walked away with his deputy following behind him.

Tig moved quickly towards Unser, Kelly getting to her feet. She knew there was just a matter of making sure she didn't give anything away looking at the expression on Tig's face. "So they were black? Niners?" He asked needing to know for sure.

"Had to be." Chibs chimed in, he placed a hand to Kelly's shoulder pulling her back from Tig, and he could tell all of this was taking its toll on the poor girl.

Unser glanced over Kelly's face, "I'm not sure!" He tried to keep the heat from this contained, but there wasn't much to do with what really happened. "I didn't see colours." He added.

Kelly's eyes shooting up to see Gemma walking into the hospital, her attention on Unser moving towards the woman she hardly knew.

"This is on me!" Tig said when Unser was out of earshot, everyone was quick to try and calm him, but Kelly knew Tig, she knew how he had been feeling the last few days. "Clay wanted me to stay. He had a feeling something was going down." His eyes were falling on Kelly.

"You didn't know anything Tiggy," Chibs said looking serious; he didn't want Tig blaming himself for this.

"I should have been there," Tig stated, "A brother asks for your help, you don't turn your back." He turned walking out of the hospital, Chibs on his back, but stopped at the door watching him leave.

Kelly inhaled sitting down again looking up to Happy, "You alright?" He asked Kelly, he knew they never really spoke much, but he sat beside her trying to work out what must be going through her head. "You sure you didn't see anything?" He asked her quietly.

"I'm sorry Hap, I just." Kelly closed her eyes pinching her nose; she could feel her uneasy stomach churning more than ever, her eyes opened to see that Chibs had joined them touching her knee. "Everything happened so fast, I just."

"It's okay," Chibs tapped her thigh, his eyes on Happy. "I am thinking we're going to need to get our guard up."

Kelly getting to her feet again, she could see Clay was being moved, Gemma standing back. "Keep him alive." Gemma's voice was an echo, it held nothing to show she needed Clay, or wanted him for that matter.

Gemma turned to see Kelly, her niece looking pale, her hands resting on her stomach, and for a few seconds Gemma could only let out a sigh, "I think you have some explaining to do sweetheart."

* * *

><p>Glancing up to Gemma from the chair Kelly felt sick, the others had settled in the waiting room, Kelly and Gemma sat on their own in a corner. Kelly knew the look on Gemma's face; she was sitting beside Kelly watching her eyes.<p>

"So when was you planning on telling me?" Gemma asked moving her purse off her lap to her feet; she couldn't stop staring over Kelly's face.

Kelly felt her fingers interlocking and unlocking, her eyes avoiding Gemma's. "I guess it never came to mind, being all that is going on." Kelly glanced up again feeling nervous; she knew the look on Gemma's face as bruised as it was she knew Gemma hated things being kept from her.

"Shit Kelly!" Gemma reached a hand over, her fingers brushing on Kelly's, "I'm sure you didn't tell me because you don't want to keep it."

Kelly bit her lip, her hand brushing through her hair feeling the deep sinking that reminded her that she was walking a thin line. "I don't know…"

Gemma got to her feet, she picked up her purse looking around, she didn't want to be here leaving the hospital. Kelly had never known Gemma to just walk out of a room, but she closed her eyes not looking to everyone waiting to hear about Clay.

The minutes ticked away, Kelly watched a doctor talking to Chibs and Happy, even a Mayan come to the hospital as a way for Álvarez to know what is going on with Clay.

While everything felt like everything was moving slower, Kelly's eyes snapped up when Jax walked into the waiting room, his morning didn't seem to be the one he'd hoped it to be, but his eyes feel on Kelly sitting on her own. So far she was doing a good job at keeping quiet, his attention to Chibs touching his shoulder, "Hey. How's he doing?" He asked watching Chibs sitting up right.

Chibs didn't know how long time had passed, his eyes looking up to Jax, "Gone back in surgery, there was a problem with his lung." His voice was serious.

"God damn cigars!" Happy added while looking up to Jax, everything wasn't going right, and something to him felt very wrong.

Jax sighed, "Shit." His voice calm, his eyes going over to Kelly seeing her looking paler, the dark circles under her eyes looking more violent against her complexion. "Any word from Bobbie or Juice?" He whispered trying to not unsettle Kelly, but he watched her walking away from the waiting area. "Kelly!" Jax followed his cousin with Chibs and Happy following.

"I don't know where he is Jax, but if I'm right he's avoiding me!" Kelly bit her lip leaning again a wall, her attention on Jax, but could see the seriousness of Happy's face.

"What's going on?" For the moment Happy wasn't sure what was happening, but his focus was on where the other members of this MC were.

Kelly exhaled, "Yesterday I told him I was pregnant, and today he's gone AWAL…" Kelly laughed, but stopped feeling Chibs's hand on her shoulder.

"Don't think that Lass?" Chibs voice soft, he knew so much, but he knew this couldn't be the reason.

Jax shook his head, "He probably needs time to think Kelly, it's not an easy thing to wrap your head around, but what about Bobbie?"

"I Talked to Will Owen, he said Bobbie signed into Stockton, but didn't sign out." Chibs's voice was solemn while still holding Kelly close to him.

Jax new from this point as VP and Clay out of action, he had to step up, "So what the hell does that mean?" He asked trying to keep cool.

"Maybe you can talk to Lenny, he wants a sit down with you today. He's pretty jacked up about it." Chibs kept his voice low, but even with everything that was going on, it was getting harder to keep things together.

Jax rolled his eyes, "Oh my god!" His eyes on Kelly standing closer to Chibs, "Okay…" He knew it was important to get things done.

"Opie and Tig are MIA too." Happy added while he could, even if he had an idea where Tig could be, he had no idea where Opie was, and it worried him that everyone was scattered at this time.

"Opie at the cabin checking on Piney, Tig's so upset over this Clay thing. He's probably already neck deep in coke and pussy." Jax focused on Kelly, "I'm going to go to Stockton, keep me in the loop." He turned walking away.

Kelly exhaled feeling sick again, she knew why this time, but everything was spinning too fast. "This feels like a very bad movie…" Her voice was soft, her eyes looking up to Chibs, "You really think Juan is out thinking?"

Chibs watch Happy going to sit back down with the Mayan, he relaxed into the chair knowing it was going to be a wait. Chibs turning his attention back to Kelly, her deep blue eyes staring up at him. "I don't know what is going through that boy's head, but he does love you."

"I know, but does he want this?" Kelly inhaled and exhaled brushing her hand under her eyes, "I don't even know if it's what I want."

"I guess it's just timing Lass, bad timing you have to make the best of." He brushed his hand into her hair trying to remember what she looked like before all this stress was put on her shoulders. "Maybe you should go home, you need some sleep."

Kelly shook her head, "I think I'll swing round Jax and Tara's place, I am thinking Tara would need the company." Her eyes were looking up to Chibs. "I know I don't look it, but I'm fine." She started to walk away from Chibs leaving the waiting room.

* * *

><p>It didn't take Kelly long to pull up to the house, she inhaled taking off her helmet and other riding gear walking to the front door. While she felt like she should of taken Chibs's advice and went home to bed, she knew she needed to talk to Tara opening the front door walking in seeing Phil with Thomas. "You just missed Gemma…" Phil glanced up to Kelly.<p>

"Not here to see her," Kelly turned to see Tara standing in the doorway looking pissed, "Tara."

Tara's eyes narrowed, "We need to talk," Her head tilting towards the bedroom, she knew Phil shouldn't hear this. "Now." Her tone was a bitter sting to Kelly's ears, but she followed into the room quickly.

Stepping in the room in front of Tara Kelly could see the bags being packed, Kelly turned around to look at Tara shutting the door. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

"Piney," Tara started feeling her voice burn in her throat. "You gave Piney the letters from my office Kelly!" Tara could see Kelly avoiding her eyes now. "Kelly what possessed you to do that?"

"He asked me!" Kelly snapped, her eyes looking up to Tara with tears falling down them, she looked worn out, like she'd not gotten any sleep for day. "He begged me, and I couldn't say no, but even if I did, he would have still done what he did." Her hand moved quick to brush the tears from her eyes. "Piney's dead, and Opie is a mess…"

Tara stepped forward, "Kelly." Tara didn't know what to feel. Ever since her accident, she just wanted to get far away from Charming. "You know you should come with me and Jax, leave this town while you can."

"And what about Juan?" Kelly felt the wave of sickness when she thought about her boyfriend, the man she'd fallen in love with.

Tara exhaled, her hand placed on her shoulder, her bad hand still close to her chest. "If he really loved and respected you Kelly, he wouldn't of run away." Her voice was trying to be calming. "Think about it, please."

"I'll think about it," Kelly finally stopped crying, her hand reaching up to touch Tara's bad hand carefully.

Tara leaned forward touching her forehead to Kelly's, "You know I love you," Tara's eyes looked into Kelly's. "Tell me you love me."

Kelly took a small step back, the tone of Tara's voice shook her up a little, "I do love you, you're the closest thing I've had to a sister."

Tara nodded, "Well remember what I said, its best you just cut your loses here and move with me and Jax. We'll take care of you and the baby."

"I don't wanna burn the bridge just yet Tara…" Kelly glanced to the door, "I think I need to go see if I can find Juan before making any decisions." With that Kelly walked out of the bed room, taking a quick look of Phil feeding Thomas before leaving the house, she picked up her helmet, putting everything back on before riding away, she didn't know where she was going, but she needed to clear her head.

Was it wise to think of leaving with Tara and Jax, leave all the poison in her life and start a new, but no matter how easy that choice would be, she knew something would always pull her back. Juan had grown to be a big part of her life, and it wouldn't be so easy to just let it go.


	15. A new chapter begins

**AN:** Well here I am, 11/9/12 and this is the last chapter of this story, as you all should be aware I am going to be writing a third story for Kelly, and yes, it's going to follow season five.  
>Then I am going to watch the first three episodes before starting the first chapter, and I hope to keep that updated as much as I can. Just hope you've enjoyed the story, and keep following the life of Kelly Madock...<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter fifteen<br>**_A new chapter begins_

* * *

><p>The cabin didn't look the same; part of Kelly knew why it would never have the same feel to it. Her mind would always see this as Piney's hide away, but without Piney, it was just a shell. Getting off her bike Kelly could see Opie sitting on the front porch with a smoke in hand, he didn't look directly at her, but as she got close, his attention pulled to her face.<p>

"Jax ask you to come here?" Opie asked seeing Kelly sitting beside him now; she took her helmet off, giving him a better look of her face.

Kelly shook her hair free, her hand running through it placing her helmet down. "No, I came here cos it seems maybe I just need some escape."

"Kelly…" Opie started, his eyes looking into hers.

"Don't Ope." Kelly replied, her eyes going to his wrist seeing the bandage. "I just want to pretend for a little while."

Opie using his good arm wrapping it around her shoulder pulling her into his body, he could feel her free hand slipping around his waist resting her head on his chest. "You know you can't pretend forever." He whispered, his hand brushing into her hair feeling lost even more. "I wanted him dead; I was close to finishing him."

"I know Ope," Kelly shifted her weight to look him in the eyes; she could see the look of hopelessness, the pain he'd been feeling for too long. "I'm so sorry…" Kelly broke into a fit of sobs.

"Kelly…" Opie couldn't stop it, he hated the way he felt, but seeing Kelly cry was even worse. "It's not your fault; you had no idea what was going to happen."

Kelly bit her lip, she stifled a cry, "But I," Her head bowed down feeling sick all over again.

Opie brushed her chin up, his eyes met hers, and for a second he didn't like what he was looking at.

"No Kelly." Opie's voice stronger, he kept her eyes on his, "I know with everything going on, you need to keep strong." His fingers brushing against her cheek, he cupped her face in his hand. "You thought about what you're going to do about the baby?"

Kelly inhaled, "Tara, she offered me to leave with her and Jax."

"I think you should do it." Opie replied quickly, he could see the shock on Kelly's face. "I know you love Juan, but he can't just leave, you on the other hand can. I would hope you leave this town and try and make a life for yourself."

"I love him, I just don't know if it's enough…" Kelly inhaled, her hand coming up to touch Opie's, her eyes never leaving his face. "You've always been good to me."

Opie nodded, "I know." He could feel the pull of her eyes now, even with the dark purple shadowing under her eyes, he couldn't look away. Opie leaned forward lightly pressing his lips to her forehead. "I want what's best for you Kelly. I love you."

"I love you too Opie." Kelly glanced up to him, her hand moving closer to his cheek, she moved carefully kissing him, and it was a soft touch of lips before she let his face go moving away. "I guess I have some packing to do…"

"Don't forget to write," Opie brushed his hand from her elbow to her hand; he held it in his for a few seconds before letting it go.

Kelly gave a sombre smile, "I will." Picking her helmet up, Kelly started to make her way back to her bike, she got on without looking back she put her helmet on and started the ride back home to do the hardest thing in her life.

* * *

><p>Juice kept riding forward, he had the file in his back pocket, but as he knew his destination he couldn't stop thinking of all the things he was going to have to say to Kelly. The ride seemed to take forever, but as he pulled up to the apartment complex seeing Kelly's bike filled him with equal parts dread and hope.<p>

Walking to the front door, Juice found his hand was shaking as he put the key to the lock the door swung open, his eyes studying the room he'd not long ago seen, but he closed the door seeing the bedroom light on. "Kelly…" He called; he could feel his voice like sand paper in his throat.

Kelly glanced to the suitcase, she paused hearing her name, but she thought she heard the front door, but hearing Juice's voice made a small panic wash through her.

"I'm in here." Kelly finally replied swallowing a lump in her throat, the bed room was a mess of her clothes and suitcases. Kelly's eyes meeting Juice's as he walked into the room seeing all her things scattered about.

It was like a stab to the heart, he knew what this meant, "Where you going?" He asked moving into the room touching a random sweater of Kelly's on the bed.

Kelly placed the pair of shorts in her hand into the suitcase, "Oregon." Kelly moved across the room finding something else to pack, "Tara offered me to go out with her and Jax. I'm taking it." Her face refused to look up, her chest feeling tight over her heart as she felt sick.

Juice moved across the room, he hesitated with his hands, but as they touched her waist he felt her tense before relaxing as he held her again his chest, "I…" He inhaled the scent of her hair; he watched her head resting against his shoulder her eyes closed. "What about the baby?" He asked feeling scared of her answer.

Kelly kept her eyes closed, she felt his fingers brushing against her abdomen, "Juan, I can't…" Her voice a whisper, she was scared. "All of this, everything. I don't even know what is going on with you, where did you go?"

Juice turned Kelly around to face him, he brushed a hand into her hair watching her eyes, "I was in Stockton, I was there and the repo got called off." He exhaled, "Everything on my record is scrapped, my father, everything." He exhaled, "They are saying I was in there because of a raid on the weed shop."

"So, you didn't run away because?"

"No!" Juice touched her stomach again; he brushed his finger over her looking deep into her eyes. "I wouldn't run from you, or…" His eyes drifting to her belly, "Our family." He exhaled trying to keep himself together.

A small tear slipped from Kelly's eye as she could feel Juice's eyes watching her. "You want to be a family?" Her voice was small, her hands holding onto Juice's shoulders.

"Yes!" Juice blurted out, tears falling from his eyes, he moved his hand from her stomach to her face, "But only if you want it too." He added trying to ignore all the packing she was doing.

Kelly glanced around the bedroom, "I…" Kelly inhaled, "I guess if we do this we need to turn the spare room into a nursery."

Breaking into a smile Juice wrapped his arms around her, he held her close to him while spinning her. "We'll do it." He put her down, "Anything you want." He brushed his hand into her hair again, "You're not leaving?"

"I can't leave you…" Kelly replied. She reached around pulling the file from his back pocket, "So what are you going to do with this?" She asked softly.

Juice took the file from her; he took the photo of his father out, but placed it on the bedside cabinet. Kelly watched as he tore up the file, he threw it in the trash looking at Kelly seriously now. "I'm going to be a better father to our baby than my father ever was to me." He brushed a hand against her cheek. "I want this to work more than anything."

"Me too…" Kelly leant in brushing her lips against Juice's, feeling him pull her in making the kiss deeper as his hands worked down her back pulling her close before letting her go.

Juice staring into Kelly's eyes, "I have to go Church…" He whispered softly brushing her hair back.

"I'll come with you," Kelly felt herself reaching for Juice's cut handing it to him, "I'll need to see Tara and tell her I'm not going to be coming with her and Jax." Her hands moving to her stomach brushing her fingers against it softly.

Juice nodded, "We'll take my bike," He brushed her cheek again; "I have a feeling things are going to be different now." He looked over Kelly's eyes.

"I know. Everything with Clay, and Bobbie. Plus Tig going all crazy with revenge." Kelly paused, "I guess I have a lot to fill you in on." She reached for her jacket looking to her prospect cut, but left it on the bed.

Juice notice this, but didn't say anything taking Kelly's hand leading her out of the room, he just wanted to get Church over with, so he could come home and start rebuilding his life again.

* * *

><p>Walking into the Club house Kelly could see Phil behind the bar, Chibs and Happy sitting at the bar, while Tig sat alone at a table, Juice slipped into a seat the bar trying to think what to say, but it felt like a moment to not say anything.<p>

Kelly turned to see as Jax walked into room, it was a weird moment as he walked into the chapel, he didn't say anything, but soon Tig got up heading in, followed by everyone else. Juice was the last to get up; he took Kelly's hand kissing it before walking into the chapel closing the door behind him.

"You feeling better?" Phil asked Kelly from behind the bar, he was pushing a glass of water towards her. He tried to ignore the feeling from looking at the chapel, but both he and Kelly's eyes turned seeing Tara walking into the club house, she headed straight for the Chapel opening the door.

Kelly inhaled, but glanced to Gemma walking in also, Kelly could feel her aunt's eyes on her, the feeling sinking into her stomach as she knew that something was happening, something that was going to change everything.

But as the moments of silence dragged on, Kelly turned to look at Phil, she knew he wasn't waiting for her answer, he was staring at the Chapel. "You're going to make an amazing member to the MC." Kelly took a sip from the water.

"You would too…" Phil tried to ignore the look in Kelly's eyes, the look that said it wasn't something that was going to happen for her. "So is it true, you're going to have a kid with Juice?"

Kelly nodded, "And from what I can see from here, it looks like Jax isn't leaving Charming so soon either." Her hand resting on the bar, pushing herself to her feet walking into the Chapel, Gemma standing at the door, Tara was standing behind Jax with her hand placed over his heart.

Juice's eyes went up to Kelly, he watched as Chibs looked up to her too, but Kelly stood her ground looking to Jax. "Can I help you Kelly?" Jax asked, he felt he needed to start his role as President now.

"Yes," Kelly now glanced over to Juice, "I think it's best I back down for Prospect," He voice rough, her hands resting in her pockets.

Jax inhaled, "I think you shouldn't." He sounded serious, his eyes looking over to Gemma, "Kelly, I think its best you keep your prospect cut, I know it's what you want. So as your cousin I'm not letting you pussy out."

Kelly glanced up to Tara, the woman looked cold, her eyes studying over Kelly carefully, so all Kelly could do was nod. "If that's what you think President…" Her voice was calm, her attention moving to Juice again. "I'll leave you lot to Church…"

Tara nodded, "I'll leave you to it." Kissing Jax, she followed Kelly out of the Chapel; she didn't even look at Gemma as she walked from the club house, but knew Kelly was following her.

Kelly stopped Tara getting into her car; she could see Thomas and Abel asleep in the back seat, her eyes going over the woman who looked like she'd given up.

Tara turned to face Kelly, both women looking worn out in their own way, "I guess you're not leaving then."

"Nope," Tara glanced over the club house, "I can assume you're planning on keeping the baby." Tara couldn't help but stare at Kelly's stomach. "When it's born, you do everything you can to protect it."

Kelly nodded, "I just want to have a family that isn't anything like my own." Her hands resting on her stomach, her eyes still on Tara. "I won't be my mother, and I won't turn out like Gemma either…" She gave a small smile. "If I could be half the mother you are, I would count myself blessed."

Tara bit her lip trying not to cry, "Don't…"

"Tara, you're an amazing woman, don't forget that." Kelly now lent forward kissing Tara's cheek, "I love you." She whispered before letting Tara get into the car.

Tara let a small smile slip, "I love you too…" She now drove away leaving Kelly standing in the lot alone.

* * *

><p>Juice looked to the empty suitcases, the bedroom as neat as it was before, he brushed a hand down Kelly's back watching her sleep, and she looked peaceful as she rolled on her side facing away from him. He wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer to his chest. The only light was coming through a window, the moonlight shinning onto Kelly's face, so Juice couldn't stop watching her in sleep, he brushed some of her hair back, resting his face close to hers, he closed his eyes falling into a restful sleep, he kept his arm around her holding her tight against his chest feeling like things had to start looking up now.<p>

While the club had a lot of fixing to do, right now all Juice could think about was his new family, he had to man up now, he was going to be a good father to his child no matter what.

The End...  
>For now.<p> 


End file.
